Adjust the Sonic Qualities of any mic!

[Micsales]

Hi!
MicSales here!

Are you sick of having a huge mic locker that costs thousands of dollars just to have that "right" vocal mic for different voices?

So are we.

Now, you CAN have the "right" mic for ANY vocal. You alreadt own the right mic if you own ANY mic!

We are offering the new ASM-NR Vocal Adjustment system. This costs only $99.95 and is totally adjustable to bring that sweet spot to any vocalist!

The picture below shows how it works. You put one of the 6 rings around your neck to stretch it. The vocal range goes from the "Barry White" setting (1 ring) to the "Micheal Jackson" setting (6 rings).

The vocalist in the picture shows the "Micheal Jackson" setting, and my oh my did she record well with just a SM57!

Beat -it to the dock today and record your Sgt. Pepper!

 

[drummerdude666]

I was just about to post "SPAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

.......then I finished reading it. lol

 

[MadAudio]

Were these rings made on a barge off the coast of Spain?

 

[Track Rat]

These rings could be extra terrestrial. Possibly from Uranus.

 

[crazydoc]

These rings could be extra terrestrial. Possibly from Uranus.

Well, they're not from Myanus - possibly someone else's.

And that pic posted doesn't look like the MJ setting - way too many rings. Female settings could include Mariah Carey or Yma Sumac. Males - Pee Wee Herman or Tiny Tim.

Where's the barge parked? I'd like to come down and get mine.

 

[Treeline]

It's drier when you bake it.

Or you could use this approach - the sonic leveling device. Keeps you centered.

 

[Treeline]

But don't forget this handy installation kit...

 

[omtayslick]

It's drier when you bake it.

Or you could use this approach - the sonic leveling device. Keeps you centered.

A little pantyhose and it'll double as a pop filter! Don't forget to send my royalty check.

 

[Warhead]

Well, I was looking for more spam as well......but it's pretty funny for a waste of webspace I suppose.

War

 

[Calwood]

The vocalist in the picture shows the "Micheal Jackson" setting, and my oh my did she record well with just a SM57!

Beat -it to the dock today and record your Sgt. Pepper!

Thats a she!!!!!!!

Yikes!

 

[timboZ]

I have had more luck with this ring to get the high notes out.

 

[jhughs]

Oh dear

Oh my, and exactly what type of microphone fits in that holder?

(Never mind - I should know better than to ask questions I don't want the answer to.)

 

[crazydoc]

Adjusting the polar pattern.

 

[Richard Monroe]

Nah- this is SPAM. First, he doesn't mention that it's $99 *per ring*, and the installation has to be done by a mean old lady with an attitude problem and takes 20 years. Jacko misunderstood, and thought they said "cock" ring. It does give new meaning to "headroom", though.-Richie

 

[Kevin Deschwazi]

Can I use more than 6?

You see I'm going for a kind of Bee Gees sound so I'm pretty sure I'll need more than 6. It could get pretty expensive though.

 

[noisedude]

For that effect you need to buy the optional helium adaptor. That and six rings should have every dog in your neighbourhood squealing.

 

[The Engineer]

Boooooooo ...!