A Song About Yanking It 8=D

[propman]

You guys know that the church can be a little ... strict when it comes to "self abuse."
Well, that makes me angry because it's totally natural and healthy so, satire being my only weapon, I wrote this.
It'll likely wind up in a rock-opera project I'm working on. Thoughts?

[MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/The%20Mormon's%20Temptation.mp3[/MP3]
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Lyrics:
Stars and stripes
And rusted pipes do not geehaw
Clogged up vents
Have me pitching tents watching Hee Haw

I've got a massive amount of adrenalin now
But the farmer's forbidden from even approaching the plow

Why can't it rain in my house when I'm not alone
Why can't it rain in my house when I'm not alone
I need a castarizer
Before I become a geyser
Why can't it rain in my house when I'm not alone

Sunday best
And my caress do not mingle
But my steeple
Is calling me with its tingle

I even tried an unusual kind of a shower
But found out my body has got an atypical power

Why can't it rain in my house when I'm not alone
Why can't it rain in my house when I'm not alone
I don't need a marriage
To slug my undercarriage
Why can't it rain in my house when I'm not alone

Now I'm admitting the I'm entertaining the need
The farmer's went loco and started an all-out stampede
But the only book I read tells me not to do what I'm doing
So damn, damn, damn

 

[JimmyS1969]

I personally think this song is awesome!

I could come up with many mix nits, but they would all be worthless because the song is perfect the way it is.

 

[CrowsofFritz]

I like your voice. I personally would like the snare to have a bit more crack, but that's just preference. It's a good song.

 

[rayc]

Good arrangement Adam.
Succinct.
It's good that you avoided all the obvious double entrendre and euphemisms.
In written form I'd be inclined to make the last damn into dam as that's what the book recommends.

 

[propman]

I personally think this song is awesome!

I could come up with many mix nits, but they would all be worthless because the song is perfect the way it is.

Thank you very much, Jimmy!

I like your voice. I personally would like the snare to have a bit more crack, but that's just preference. It's a good song.

Thanks a whole lot!

Good arrangement Adam.
Succinct.
It's good that you avoided all the obvious double entrendre and euphemisms.
In written form I'd be inclined to make the last damn into dam as that's what the book recommends.

Thanks, Ray! (*Snicker* "Dam." It took me a second but I got it!)

 

[dobro]

Wow, you're really good. Excellent delivery. No critique here, just enjoyment of a great piece of music. Don't let it go to your head. Or any other part of you.

 

[propman]

Wow, you're really good. Excellent delivery. No critique here, just enjoyment of a great piece of music. Don't let it go to your head. Or any other part of you.

Hahaha! Thank you very much! I really appreciate it.

 

[jonny deep]

Wow, this is great - wish I could sing and write like this!

Personally, I really wanted a harmony to come on the last line of the first chorus and a break between the last chorus and when the fast lyrics come back in the end bit. But that's just how I would change it if it were mine.

Great stuff!!!

 

[propman]

Wow, this is great - wish I could sing and write like this!

Personally, I really wanted a harmony to come on the last line of the first chorus and a break between the last chorus and when the fast lyrics come back in the end bit. But that's just how I would change it if it were mine.

Great stuff!!!

Thank you so much! You know, your ear isn't too far off from mine. I considered both of those add-ons while mixing but I got too used to it as is.
Again, thank you very kindly.

 

[Bruthish]

Very Impressed. Catchy and cool song. I think everything blends very well for the type of song it is. Funny I wrote a song about this same subject years ago...no as cool as yours though...awesome job!

 

[TripleM]

I liked the song. And the performances were good. I liked the bass part quite a bit. Very good singing. Vocal tone and clarity were excellent.

The acoustic guitars sounded OK. But I'd like a little fuller sound. I'd like a little more low-midrange in them.

The snare and kick sound a little muffled. I'd like a more defined attack to them. Cymbals sounded decent to me. The ride gets a little smeared at times - but not too bad.

I wonder if you could edit the preacher's speech at the beginning a bit? It goes on for quite a while. I'm thinking you could make it shorter and still have it set up the song.

 

[JimmyS1969]

I agree about the intro. I would say edit that down a bit.

 

[heatmiser]

The Lord will not be pleased Adam...

Yeah, the intro is a bit long I think?

Pretty sweet when the actual song kicks in though. Once again, reading the lyrics I never expected this melody and vocal delivery...the timing and cadence and stuff is pretty uncanny here.

Bass line is pretty slick. Nice job with that. I liked the more lo fi-ish drums you used on this. You often go pretty electronic with percussion, but this sounds more muted and natural which is a nice change. I think the strumming acoustics could come forward more? I like the part but it got lost at times. Maybe they just need some EQ or something to make them stand out more? Maybe they need nothing...maybe I could do more harm than good with advice at this point? You seem to know what you're doing...carry on.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

So between this and "Dry Spell", how many songs about this will your next album have? ,':/

+1 on editing down the speech at the beginning.

I was less impressed by this than a lot of your other stuff. The mix is alright (though the bass may be a tad loud).
It's a little conventionally country for my taste.

 

[propman]

Very Impressed. Catchy and cool song. I think everything blends very well for the type of song it is. Funny I wrote a song about this same subject years ago...no as cool as yours though...awesome job!

Thank you! I'd love to hear yours.

I liked the song. And the performances were good. I liked the bass part quite a bit. Very good singing. Vocal tone and clarity were excellent.

The acoustic guitars sounded OK. But I'd like a little fuller sound. I'd like a little more low-midrange in them.

The snare and kick sound a little muffled. I'd like a more defined attack to them. Cymbals sounded decent to me. The ride gets a little smeared at times - but not too bad.

I wonder if you could edit the preacher's speech at the beginning a bit? It goes on for quite a while. I'm thinking you could make it shorter and still have it set up the song.

I think I probably should (edit the preacher's speech), as I've had quite a few people suggest it. I just ... kind of wanted it to breathe. It was supposed to be less of an intro and more of an transition or interlude between tracks. As for the snare/kick/ride, how would you suggest I get more punch and what does "smeared" mean? I've heard a lot of visually descriptive terms for audio (bright, crunchy, dark, muddy, clean, etc.) but never smeared. I have an image of the sound being washed out like an overly-wetted watercolor. Thanks for listening! I'm glad you like it.

I agree about the intro. I would say edit that down a bit.

Yeah, I'm starting to - at least, as an intro. as a breathing space between to tracks, I think it would be good as is.

The Lord will not be pleased Adam...

Yeah, the intro is a bit long I think?

Pretty sweet when the actual song kicks in though. Once again, reading the lyrics I never expected this melody and vocal delivery...the timing and cadence and stuff is pretty uncanny here.

Bass line is pretty slick. Nice job with that. I liked the more lo fi-ish drums you used on this. You often go pretty electronic with percussion, but this sounds more muted and natural which is a nice change. I think the strumming acoustics could come forward more? I like the part but it got lost at times. Maybe they just need some EQ or something to make them stand out more? Maybe they need nothing...maybe I could do more harm than good with advice at this point? You seem to know what you're doing...carry on.

Thanks, Pete! I'm glad you're pleased with it (and am indifferent about God's feeling on the matter ). This is the first track (ever, I think) where I've recorded my actual drum kit as one unit. I think it turned out pretty good! I think you're right about the acoustics. Maybe I'll fiddle around with them later.

So between this and "Dry Spell", how many songs about this will your next album have? ,':/

+1 on editing down the speech at the beginning.

I was less impressed by this than a lot of your other stuff. The mix is alright (though the bass may be a tad loud).
It's a little conventionally country for my taste.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I write a lot of songs about spanking the monkey, sir -- that is true -- but Dry Spell is not one of them (although, I'm really flattered that you remember that one. Do you really think I should put it on an album? I was considering leaving it off). Now that I think about it ... wow, it could totally be interpreted that way ... but I'm afraid it's a lot more boring than that. It's a story about somebody asking themselves if they should chase their dreams or stay put and appreciate what they've got. While they realize the question is old as humanity itself, it doesn't make it any easier to answer. ("Shaking my dry spell off" was about drinking.)

As for the rest, another vote for editing the intro heard. I'm sorry it didn't really appeal to your tastes - I don't aim to disappoint. I've been digging the conventional country sound lately and wanted to give it a[nother] shot (My fingers always gravitate to a country rhythm on the frets). Thanks for giving it a listen, even though it wasn't your cup of tea.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I write a lot of songs about spanking the monkey, sir -- that is true -- but Dry Spell is not one of them (although, I'm really flattered that you remember that one. Do you really think I should put it on an album? I was considering leaving it off). Now that I think about it ... wow, it could totally be interpreted that way ... but I'm afraid it's a lot more boring than that. It's a story about somebody asking themselves if they should chase their dreams or stay put and appreciate what they've got. While they realize the question is old as humanity itself, it doesn't make it any easier to answer. ("Shaking my dry spell off" was about drinking.)

As for the rest, another vote for editing the intro heard. I'm sorry it didn't really appeal to your tastes - I don't aim to disappoint. I've been digging the conventional country sound lately and wanted to give it a[nother] shot (My fingers always gravitate to a country rhythm on the frets). Thanks for giving it a listen, even though it wasn't your cup of tea.

Ha ha! Yeah. I liked Dry Spell a lot. "She caught me shaking my dry spell off behind the dumpster where I co...ntemplate images."

Between that and getting the point of Microagression backwards, I'm something like 0 and 5 for actually understanding your songs!