A Couple new songs

[MessianicDreams]

hey everybody!!

well its been a whiiile since i posted anything here...a combination of broken equipment and school.

so, 2 new recordings, 1 of an old song already posted but rerecorded & mixed.

The first song is entitled A Simple Trace..the lyrics:

I try to hide it from my face
I can’t erase a single trace
Of how much I miss her
Of how much I care
I know I’ve got nothing to fear
Still I cannot help these tears
Is she thinking of me?
Is she thinking of me?

I smell her skin on the wind
I see her face in every star,
Falling leaves, my memories
All bring my to my knees

I cannot hide it from my face
This pain is more than I can take
I need to hold her close to me
I need to know that she needs me
The falling rain upon the ground
Reminds me of when she was around
Holding hands under the rain
I need to be there again

I smell her skin on the wind
I see her face in every star,
Falling leaves, my memories
All bring my to my knees

All I want is to keep pace
I cannot do it with this face

-------------------------------------

The next song is Breathe, by Pink Floyd. Its only an acoustic version. the reason i recorded this is at school they've just finished installin this maaad new studio (i'll get the details of it all on monday) they school have also startin employing a "sound engineer" to help us manipulate it. it was his first week on the job, and he wanted to try the new stuff out (so did i), so i sang this song.

The third song is Punch Drunk. this is a completly new version of it. i'm not entirely sure my vocals were up to what they were last time (i'll try and upload the old version if i have enough space).

the lyrics:

You walk away from me
You walk towards your friends
You say you want free
I pray this isn’t the end
(bis)

Yehh, well I’m punch drunk
Livin’ in this lifestyle
Yehh, well I’m punch drunk
And it ain’t too fun, no…

Well I’m so sorry my baby
Because you don’t want to hear this
Won’t you stay a while with me
Stay for one last kiss
(bis)
----------------------------

So please tell me your comments...what do you think of the mix? Performance? just gimme some feedback, good or bad i don't mind

take care,
Ewan

EDIT: silly me, forgot the bloody link!!

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/?aid=2352/singles

 

[Qwerty]

Hi Ewan,

A Simple Trace
==========
- I like your guitar riff, be careful on that triplet, eg 0:40ish
- "Is she thinking of me" @ 1:05ish- I like the way you sing each version, the up and the down. I would like to hear both at the same time.
- You have a couple of timing and fretting issues which you should fix up for a final mix.
- Vocal at 2:00 seems to come in louder than the preceding verse. (Probably doing what I do - getting too excited and swallowing the mic)
- Look at fixing some of the pitchy bits, eg. "again" at 2:32 etc.

You have recorded this quite nicely - guitar sounds pretty good, if maybe a little thin - but that works for this song.

The only problem I have with this song is the fact that all we men are sad sacks. We all get our hearts broken and we all pour out our emotions in song. The trouble is, we have all been doing it for fifty years of popular song. This makes it REALLY hard to come up with something that will grab a listener's ear and make them say "Wow. That is original."

You need to add the "WoW!" factor. A really strong lyrical tweak or a really unique or catchy melodic hook. At the moment, I feel this song would work well in an album but could not be a song to build an album around. Other people's opinions will differ.

I don't at all mean you have written a bad song - don't be discouraged or think I am taking the piss..... It is a weakness in my own songs and 99% of those you see posted in various places.

I do like this song and it certainly contains that feeling of the unrelenting longing for something you know you will never have again. (The good news is that women love emotional men who play guitar and sing for them....... Try the local bar where the local university literati hang out.........)

Breathe
======
- Acoustic guitar sounds like it has too much mid energy and is a little boxy or telephoney. Try cutting at 650Hz.
- Your voice tonally works well with this song. Particularly the higher "Breathe" and "Run, rabbit run" bits.
- Work on your pitching and this will sound really good.
- Bass is way too loud when it is playing up the octave.
- Guitar needs to come up.
- Think about your sonic space. At the moment, I have the voice up front (which is good), then the bass slightly right or centre behind the vocals and then the guitars sitting on the left further back than everything. Try dual micing the guitar and panning it to different sides and taking a reverb send and panning it out further still. That should give you a big, shimmery acoustic sound to play with.
- Try dropping in some down strum overdubs on the "Breathe" and "Run, rabbit run" parts.
- Try doubling the acoustic part with another one if you can't do a X/Y dual micing set up when you record.

And keep playing because it is obvious you love it!

Q.

 

[qwincy]

Ewan,

Nice stuff you've posted. You have some minor vocal intonation problems here and there on both "Trace" and "Breathe". That's the good thing about the pared down production, there is nothing to "hide behind" -- you hear every detail, and hearing it is the only way to fix it. I would like to hear a tiny bit more high end on the acoustic in "Trace", especially with the (very nice) fingerpicking softening up the attack of the strings.

"Breathe" - great song. I really like your delivery on the first time through "balanced on the biggest wave \ you race toward an early grave".

_________________________________________


Hey Qwerty, I like your reviewing style. Half on how to improve the mix and half on how to use it to get over with the ladies

 

[lynx]

Checked Trace.

Maybe a little timing issues, vocal off a nose in places, hardly noticable at all. Thought you were going to break into Dust in the Wind at times but that's OK. Good job.

 

[MessianicDreams]

Qwerty---> wow!! thanks alot man...lots of good ideas there for me to use.

i agree with you in regards to the lackin !!WoW!! factor to Trace. i was thinking of maybe writting a string section part to the song. i've never tried that before, so it could be an interesting experience, to say the least!

Breathe was done as a quick recording, on the other two songs you'll notice i did use an XY mic'ing setup. i'm glad you like the way my voice sounds on it! i was pretty sketched out at the start, those high bits are really at the top of my range, and i do think that my voice sounds just a tad stretched there.

i appreciate the time and effort you put into this if i could just ask you to listen to Punch Drunk if you have the time, i'd really love to hear what you've got to say on it!
cheers once again

Qwincy---> yeh, i'm aware of the vocal glitches. unfortunalty this is about as good as i ever sing i know that i need to take a few singing lessons, i'm sure if a good singer taught me some basic exercises n tips i could increase my range and accuracy without too much trouble. thanks for the listen

lynx--> i started playing that little picking motif one day..i liked the way it sounded. it was only much later that i realised the similarity to Dust in the Wind...but hey, its just too hard to be original thanx for the input!

it would be nice if someone listened to Punch Drunk and told me what they thought of it...

thanks for stoping by

Ewan

ps, i forgot to mention that all instruments/vocals are done by me

 

[Qwerty]

Hi Ewan,

I saw a thread titled "A Couple new songs" and thought - there must be two ......

Punch Drunk
=========
- Guitar that starts is nice but a little left only for my taste. Can you return an effect over to the other side of the mix for balance?
- Little guitar line that enters and slinks its way over the track from 0:15 is really sweet. Contemplative, Sunday morning music.... Did I mention I am hungover like a bitch.....
- FWIW, I have a gripe with the way you are singing "Me" @ 0:30 and "Free" @ 0:37.... It comes out as "Me-he" and "Free-he" - I think it would sound better if you just held the first note.
- I like your vocal treatment, sounds nice and clean without too much verb etc.
- I like the tremelo guitar jumping around. Sometimes it sounds like it is louder on one side compared to the other. Not sure if you have done this deliberately - if not, maybe a compressor would tame the levels to be a little more even.
- I like your Punch Drunk chorus it is earnest and honest.

I think this is the best track of the three you have posted. My ears are still buzzing from loud music last night, so I can't be much help with EQ issues, but it sounded pretty tight to me.

Thanks for the listen,

Q.

In relation to improving your singing, there are plenty of online resources which will give you basic exercises that will help improve your control of pitch and volume. A quick summary would look something like this -

- Breathe with your diaphragm at the bottom of your stomach, not your lung. Push the muscle out quickly to fill your lungs and then slowly squeeze the muscle in while you sing. This will give you a deeper, louder more complex tone and make it easier to sing longer, louder notes.

- Sing through all scales using each vowel sound. Ma-Ma-Ma, Me-Me-Me, Mi-mi-mi, mo-mo-mo, mu-mu-mu.... (Buy a djembe and do this practice exercise on a street corner and watch the money roll in ) Start with your lowest note and work up in octaves from there.

- Get hold of something like Antares Autotune. Not to use to "fix" your voice, but because you can use it to show you exactly what you have sung. I have found that I tend to pitch slightly sharp, fall slightly flat and then resonate back to the exact note. Somehow just knowing that this is what I am doing has made it easier for me to control this and make it less evident to the average listener.

- Sing everywhere you go. Sing down low. Sing in falsetto. It doesn't even have to be that loud. Just practice making the sounds and concentrate on hitting the pitch perfectly. Same as with anything practice makes perfect.

- Don't be afraid to transpose a song to a different key so that it sits better with your voice. Most people cannot hear when someone sings a song in a slightly different key, but the will hear a singer struggling to hit high notes in the original key. If you get something which you can't easily transpose, then try down tuning your guitars and instruments.