A brand spankin new one ...

boydrj

boydrj

New member
Here is a brand new one I think is finished, but I'll probably have to go back and play with it some more after getting feedback.

Recorded on a Tascam 488 (Analog 8-track) and mixed down to DAT.

The song is called Today or Tomorrow:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/theinside/singles

Oh yeah, I also uploaded an updated version of my last one Action Star. I think I finally hit those high notes, but if anyone cares to take a listen and let me know I could use the feedback.

Thanks for listening.
 
First off, what a pleasing message and inspiration to write a song!!

The overall mix was soft and low imo. I'd up the vox on the intro and up the kick and snare s well.

The backing vox on the left could use either a harder pan or more reverb to give it some depth. It was kinda distracting and taking away from the lead vox but, I don't think the level was the problem.

I thought I heard some keys on the left. If so, they need to find a home in level and placment.

Very cool tune:)

Hope I was a bit of a help in the mix. I don't know a whole lot but, I speak up when I think I've something to add.;)

Peace,

Theron
 
Thanks!

Thanks Theron. There were some keys on there and they were mixed kind of low. Maybe I can work on getting those out a little.

I totally agree with you about the back-up vocals. I think I had them sitting too close to the main on the chorus, though I tried to pan them out. I'll need to relook at this and see what I can do. Maybe adding a little verb will be the answer.

Thanks for your feedback. I totally dug your collab as well.
 
nice tune...not the norm around here.

It appeared you struggled a bit on reaching some of the notes in the vocals. Canned drums;) ? Not a problem, as I use them all the time, admittedly. These had a less then steller sound to them, however.

Your tune overshadows all the deficiencies that people could point out...including the ones I mentioned above. A major plus. I'd just like to hear the vocals more on target.
 
What a great song. Very clever chord changes and production. Very sofisticated. I like where you were going with the vocal and harmonies but as pointed out, there are intonation problems. The tune carries those problems very well, fortunately so it's easy to ovrlook them, but it would be nice to have them fixed. The tune deserves it. Your voice is very familier to me. It sounds a lot like Chris Squire's from Yes in it's timber. Your song could have been on his solo album "Fish Out Of Water".
 
Thanks!

Man, those stupid intonation problems again ... I wasn't going to say anything and see if I could just sneak through, but, nope ... so back to the drawing board...

Mix -- Thanks for your feedback. The drums are the Roland TD-5 module with me playing the pads. I think the program I picked may have been a little bit too tiny which may be why the sound is the way it is ... I am definitely going to nail these vocals when I get a chance ... Thanks man!

Jeap -- Thanks for your listen.

Rat -- Ha ha, sometimes I feel like a fish out of water! Thanks for your kind words. I am going to revisit this to fix the vocals. Maybe just some tightening up and it will be just about there, hopefully...
 
I agree with Track Rat's comments..


This is a good tune.. I have nothing to complain about other than what was already mentioned.. The drums are maybe a bit too crisp also..


nice songwriting.. good stuff..


I will check out the updated version of 'Action Star' and drop some feedback shortly...
 
I listened to the updated version of 'Action Star' and it's better, but there are still some things.. Going by memory, this new mix sounds different, like too much of a smiley face e.q. or something.. Not enough mids imhop.. The vocal issues are better but still there.. I think it might have something to do with the doubling you used on the falsetto..

I still think it's a really good tune though..
 
(1) Still like Action Star. Not sure what you could do to screw that song up for me.

(2) Today or Tomorrow - Glad I listened. Think I'll just download your webpage. If it's been said, I apologize...VOX UP for the first couple of lines of the song...they're totally buried...but they seem fine level-wise after that. You've got that vocal thing that's kinda' 1/2 way between full voice and falsetto...it's not really either (Neil Young does that, as does that singer in the WHO whose name is totally escaping me right now...dammit...meds need to kick in NOW. Peter Townshend). Jeez, I should really filter some of this or learn how to use the delete key or something.

My point is, it's an incredibly difficult singing method to maintain pitch with...but it's also a lot less annoying when you're slightly off if you're not singing in full voice. So for me, the vocal nit-picker that I am, this works for me. Influences include?

This is artistry to me,
-chris
 
smellyfuzz said:
Just keep tracking until it sounds perfect.
Click to expand...
That's the key. If you have to do it 150 times over a couple of weeks .....Do It! Most people get tired of redoing something way before they should. Just get into a zombie-like mode and do it over and over and over.
The song's quite good. I also hear the Pink Floyd sound here (and I'm a big fan of Floyd) I like it. The sound seems overly crisp. Lots of high-end hissy quality to things...especially the vocals. Were you using chessrock's new BBTTE by any chance?
 
Good tune. Really good. Reminds me of John Lennon Walls and bridges era stuff. Bit of Pink Floyd in there too. Lead vocal could come up a bit. BGV's are having some pitch issues, but the parts are real cool.

Mixwise, my feeling was that everything except the vocals was in the same spatial plane--right up front. I'd like to see the drums put back in the mix via some ambience or verb. I'd add some to the acoustics as well. In other words, put some depth into the mix.

I liked the message. Its always good to hear a father's love for his kids, especially in this era of nasty snotty lyrics. Keep it up. You have talent, my friend!
 
Agree with comments above...especially the Lennon/PF vibe. You've got plenty of good mix suggestions, so nothing to add in that area.
Good writing, a mellow groove.

Mark
 
Tom, I really like your style but I get the impression you're afraid to hear yourself with all the effects you use. I couldn't hear all the lyrics but I liked what I heard. Good transposition halfway through. I'd like to hear this one with you doubling your voice, turning up the volume and lowering the effect level. Nice song.
 
Really nice!
Sounds like a good America song.

Great flowing mix,you definatly captured the groove.
I especially liked the keys,real nice!

Nice subject matter,my kids are grown and in collage,I hope they stay forever,(well mabey not forever,I still have some traveling to do!):D

Great song!

Best to you,
Pete
 
Thanks again!

Sab -- Thanks, man, for checking out both songs. I really appreciate it. I think your feedback is right on the money! I'll keep working on it.

Chris -- Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I'm going to work on getting the vocals better, and based upon the feedback I have received, I think I'll up the vox a bit on the mix. Thanks again!

Smellyfuzz -- is that Smelly or Fuzz? lol .. Thanks for your encouragement. I'm not a singer, but have nobody else to really do this so I'm stuck trying myself. I'll keep working on it though since it can only get better, I suppose ...

mkg -- Appreciate the feedback! Thanks!

Clay -- Thanks for your feedback, but who is Tom? lol ...

Muze -- Thanks man! Spoil those kids while you've got them cause they move out and then you don't see them as much anymore ... Thanks for your feedback!

Lt. Bob -- I hear you! I sometimes wish I had a digital machine just so it would be easier to track the vocals and then piece together the best one overall. I am stuck with Analog, and you know how that is...I'll keep working on it, though, and eventually I will get it. Thanks for the encouragement!

Crawdad -- I'm wondering if I might need to eq the mix a bit to add some depth? I'll probably have to go back to the master and change it, though (that's what I'm thinking)...It kind of sucks cos' I can only mix down using a pair of stereo speakers. I need to get a good pair of monitors, but currently don't have the funds...someday though. Thanks for listening!

Take care everyone!
 
It's a toss up as to who's more spoiled,my kids or my cats.
They both walk all over me,especially the cats!:D
 
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I thought this was a sophisticated song from a writing standpoint. There were a bunch of things going on vocally (intertwined parts) and with the instruments (lots of little things thrown in). It was a real pretty song

I heard some pitch issues with the vocals here and there. Not much else I can comment on.

Nice...
 
Yeah, nice, definitely has a pink floyd vibe. I like the wee harmonic trill that pops up in the chorus, is that guitar or keys? Don't really like the snare sound, could be beefed up a bit? Very well written, good work!

Jags
 
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