2nd full song done , looking for advice (metal/industrial)

[gbav]

to start this off the style of this music isnt for everyone its a little
heavy , a little offensive at times i just thought id warn everyone
before they listen so they dont have to hate me...

this is my second full song done im using a delta 66 card with the
omni studio package and sonar..

the last time i posted here i got alot of great advice , some complaints on the singer , im still using the same singer so ill
probably get alot of the same complaints lol

just looking for any helpful hints you can give me...

thanks alot

the website is
http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/10/1313/singles.shtml
the mp3 is murdering eden..


ps.
id be glad to review anyones stuff that wants me to in exchange
i really meant to last time but i got so busy with school i didnt get
online much... anyway like i said its my second full song i dont know how much of a help my reviews would be...

thanks alot in advance
gary

 

[B.SABBATH]

I have to tell ya, I wasn't really diggin it until it kicked in around 3:10ish.. that was real cool! I'm curious to hear the responses to that part..

I do not like the guitar sound...

Around 1:15, when you change the sound to where it gets a bit thicker, i would use that sound sooner and more... The main verses sound a little thin, until you go into the thicker breaks....

The singer is a little out of tune, but I have trouble with my vocals too...... the screams were real cool!! The guitar sound was a bit scratchy and grainy..... I did like the heavy part at the end though...

 

[gbav]

thanks for the comments b.sabbath
yeah im curuios too on the reactions im probably gonna be exiled to some place in afghanistan lol

actually i agree with the guitars i did all the music but the vocals and the guitars at the begining/verses , i was kinda trying out a guitarist and i let him lay down the tracks... he's a great player like technically but he just doesnt sound , i dont know how to say it i guess clear/smooth no matter what he does so i probably overmixed it to try and make it more appealing to me.. i didnt wanna cut them and hurt anyones feelings so i just kinda sucked it up...where im listening they dont sound as grainy i need to get a better set of monitors...

thanks again for the response ill try and fix up some of those problems......

later
gary

 

[xalien]

Evil

The vocals are actually quite cool. I especially like the "evil whispers" in the background. I agree with Sabbath, the guitar sound is too thin, but it's not just the guitar. The whole song lacks a low-end. Any bass is just lost in the mix, and some good base would add to the evil vibe of the whole song. The screams at the end are perfect.

 

[jrich]

I kinda like the songs too, I don't mind the vocals, as long as they were a bit more in tune.

I think I would agree the song is lacking low end...Is there a bassline in there at all? I think I'd like to here the guitars panned to each side though...especially on murdering eden after the stereo vocals near the end. When the vocals come back to the middle it would be great if the guitars replaced them on each side.

I would say the whole thing sounds just a little distant to me in all. I'm not exactly sure what I would do, maybe bring the guitars up a tad.

I'd say your on the right track though.
and take that for what its worth cause I've only tracked and mixed one full song so far.
josh

 

[number]

Great ending. Good changes in dynamics (for industral style).

The vocals are really the problem. To my ears the only great vocals in it is the rising part just before the end. For the screaming at the end I wanted it to switch from the low rising part to an "in your face" scream. As for the main vocals - try experimenting with mic placement and added ambiance, the whole thing sounds much to distant. Take the cue from Trent and try creating a very clean, up front vocal on top of the kick ass guitar. I suppose you need an in tune singer first.

I think the background vocals are to distant as well. For those background whispers and such I find a clean, quiet sound works great. Almost something you miss when hearing it on crappy speakers, but when you pop on the cans the voice gets in your head (subtle though).

Don't mean to sound harsh - just my ears and ideas. By the way great composition, even more so during the second half.

 

[gbav]

thanks for the replys

xalien you actually just reminded me that i never put a bass
track in... thats kinda funny thanks for pointing that out i feel
incredibly dumb now lol and yeah the song does lack low end ...i havent been doing this long and the first few ideas i tryed to record had so much low end that im way over compensating for it...thanks for the input though it was really helpful...

jrich thanks for the advice i really dig the idea about the stereo
panning on the guitars at the end i wouldnt of thought about that... im gonna wind up doing all the guitar tracks over myself anyway im borrowing a mesa dual rectifier half stack from a friend that should hopefully beef up the guitars quite a bit...im deff. gonna try the panning at the end thanks for the great idea..

number: first off thanks for the compliments on the composition thats really my part in this group so that makes me feel good , and the vocals i agree with ... i dont know i was thinking about gettin that antares autotune or something maybe that would help him even though i think id feel dirty if i used it , i should really be looking to get a better singer but i think im too nice for that kind of thing...i havent really recorded anything vocally before this and another song ive did so mic placement and all that is still a mystery to me , this singer likes to get a few feet back and kinda get loud but thats probably the first mistake...anyway thank you very much for the listen ill deff. try to improve the problem areas...