Original tune: So Slowly Tonight (Melodic punk, pop punk, alternative)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Flyguitarfish
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Flyguitarfish

Flyguitarfish

Active member
I put this one together this morning. I’m liking it but it needs some TLC. I’d love to add some energy to the last chorus. Increase vocal volume there and add a guitar line? I appreciate any feedback! Thanks!

Lyrics:

So Slowly Tonight

It’s true
You’ll thank me later
And clouds are screaming at her
It’s quiet tonight
And eyes are rolling over
It’s true that heaven hovers
Over you tonight

Do you remember when
The days were short
And decades were longer than this
And clouds descend
Steam pouring out of my head…

Where do we go to?
It’s calming down so…
We don’t want panic it’s just way too
Quiet tonight…
Sends shivers down my spine
My legs and firearms are moving
So slowly tonight…
So slowly tonight

 
I can hear another guitar line in the chorus (cleaner, less distortion) that is built on a simple pattern of descending quarter notes over everything else that's happening. It pushes the rhythm and adds a new voice. Nice tune.
 
dobro said:
I can hear another guitar line in the chorus (cleaner, less distortion) that is built on a simple pattern of descending quarter notes over everything else that's happening. It pushes the rhythm and adds a new voice. Nice tune.
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Cool, I do the “cleaner” guitar thing often, especially on the final chorus. Like with octaves (AKA the pumpkins chord). I think I’ll throw it on at the end, thanks!

The other funny thing I noticed is that the keyboard cello blends in with my voice in a way that initially makes it sound like I have a weird effect on it. I need to find a way to separate those. Maybe just have the cello kick in a few seconds later when it hits some higher notes and the vocals are already established.
 
Good song, very talented guy. I hear Frank Black in the verse, but with more melody. Then something like Green Day in the chorus. It feels a bit stripped down overall, but that may be the effect. I'd add some background droning guitar lines to fill things out, but that's just me. Good stuff.
 
Sounds pretty nice flyguy. Green Day was mentioned and if you want to ramp up for the chorus maybe some super sized drum rolls would help lift up the intensity there.
Wouldn’t mind if the higher double vocal was a smidge louder, and the lower doubled ones also.
Just thoughts. Guy
 
Thekesslerboy said:
Good song, very talented guy. I hear Frank Black in the verse, but with more melody. Then something like Green Day in the chorus. It feels a bit stripped down overall, but that may be the effect. I'd add some background droning guitar lines to fill things out, but that's just me. Good stuff.
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I appreciate the feedback!
You must be a guitar guy. (I’m primarily guitar and bass, but try to be a passable drummer and singer!)

As a fellow guitarist I tend to want to keep putting more and more guitar parts in a cluttering things up…and suddenly everything is distorted Cure song, lol! Then the guitars are fighting the vocals and making them hard to understand. So I try to make myself keep it a bit more bare overall, with slightly rolled off highs in the rhythm guitars.

That being said, it’s very possible I overcompensate and could give more attention to the guitars and add some interesting lines or droning! Great feedback, I’ll have to go back and take a close listen to what I can add!
 
BTStudio said:
Sounds pretty nice flyguy. Green Day was mentioned and if you want to ramp up for the chorus maybe some super sized drum rolls would help lift up the intensity there.
Wouldn’t mind if the higher double vocal was a smidge louder, and the lower doubled ones also.
Just thoughts. Guy
Click to expand...
Ahhh, you assume I can do super sized drum rolls! I have settled on trying to keep time with the addition of simple fills!

I definitely need to assess where the vocals can be a little louder. Which specific section(s) are you thinking?
 
Flyguitarfish said:
Ahhh, you assume I can do super sized drum rolls! I have settled on trying to keep time with the addition of simple fills!

I definitely need to assess where the vocals can be a little louder. Which specific section(s) are you thinking?
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Sorry gotta run off to work, friggin day job, I’ll get back to this in about 8 hrs or so. Cheers.
 
Trying to upload a new song on a new thread but keep getting an error message. Tried on pc and phone. Anyone having similar problems?
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Flyguitarfish said:
I have to save the songs as an MP3 (downloaded file on my phone). It lets me attach it to the post without any issues. Good luck!
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Thekesslerboy

Thread 'Original tune: The Honeymoon Flops'

First recording of a song I wrote a while back but never got round to playing in my old band, or recording it. Pretty simple, only three chords, but I had fun experimenting with backing vocals on this one. Probably overdone it, but I was playing around. Made up some things on the spur of the moment and went for some notes I had no likelihood of reaching and no business attempting! A few clumsy edits in there too as I tried to shorten it after the fact after the recording was locked. Just another bitter, twisted, loser in love song! Grateful for any thoughts.
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I’m back ?
I’m thinking the lead vocal is sitting pretty good for this genre song. The back up pretty well right from the start at around 30 sec in feels too far back by just a tad. Maybe try bumping it up just a db or 2 at the most. At about 2:40 that back up feels just right. Try to hit that level if you can.
Just my 2 cents. It’s already really good ??
Fyi I’m listening on a set of quad core iem’s that are pretty nice.
 
BTStudio said:
I’m back ?
I’m thinking the lead vocal is sitting pretty good for this genre song. The back up pretty well right from the start at around 30 sec in feels too far back by just a tad. Maybe try bumping it up just a db or 2 at the most. At about 2:40 that back up feels just right. Try to hit that level if you can.
Just my 2 cents. It’s already really good ??
Fyi I’m listening on a set of quad core iem’s that are pretty nice.
Click to expand...
Awesome, thanks!
 
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