Snowman999
Active member
This is a song I'd actually like to be perfect. I'm told by someone it's best in headphones. Any thoughts would be appreciated. I'm told it has early Pink Floyd vibe. Not what I was aiming for.
andrushkiwt
Well-known member
I can hear PF, yes. Sorry, I couldn't listen very long... only because this song has one of the 2 things that make me winch and get slightly nauseated...
number one is any type of chanting or group ensemble. i can't handle that. number two is anything by the red hot chili peppers. yours had number one, unfortunately.
number one is any type of chanting or group ensemble. i can't handle that. number two is anything by the red hot chili peppers. yours had number one, unfortunately.
Snowman999
Active member
The pledge allegiance gets you sick... Shame, shame on you. 
Thanks for part a listen.
Thanks for part a listen.
Nola
Well-known member
The music is cool. The children's vocals aren't. Haha. They are soooo out of tune with the song and with one another that it's just grating. It reminds me of Langley School Music project, only not as charming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9F-no5av-s
Your vocal was interesting. Don't take this wrong, but when we spoke, one of your criticisms of my vocal melody was you felt it didn't go anywhere. Yet...this is very monotone and doesn't seem to go anywhere. ?? Just kind of confused and was expecting a vocal that did grand things, but it's like 3 notes and monotone. Just funny and not what I expected given our talks. But anyway, the timbre of your voice is...interesting. Kind of like the swans, bad seeds, etc. That really dark vibe. The mix sounded nice -- spacious, clean yet not sterile. If you can create a catchier vocal over that you'd be good to go. Sorry if that comes off the wrong way.
Your vocal was interesting. Don't take this wrong, but when we spoke, one of your criticisms of my vocal melody was you felt it didn't go anywhere. Yet...this is very monotone and doesn't seem to go anywhere. ?? Just kind of confused and was expecting a vocal that did grand things, but it's like 3 notes and monotone. Just funny and not what I expected given our talks. But anyway, the timbre of your voice is...interesting. Kind of like the swans, bad seeds, etc. That really dark vibe. The mix sounded nice -- spacious, clean yet not sterile. If you can create a catchier vocal over that you'd be good to go. Sorry if that comes off the wrong way.
Nola
Well-known member
Haha. So true.
andrushkiwt
Well-known member
yabba dabba doo now
Snowman999
Active member
This song is about Kate Steinle who was murdered in San Francisco, when a multiple convicted illegal felon, who was deported 5 times, got a hold of a gun and shot her while walking with her father. There's nothing good about this story, and the laws that are being ignored by people who swear to uphold the law is mind-numbing.
Will this change the way a person hears the song? Probably not. It shouldn't. Because I named the song Kate, and I make no mention in the song. But, the overall vibe should give you a feeling of their darkness. So, The Pledge is suppose to hit you in the face in a bad way. I pledge... to the flag of the United States of America. That should mean something.
Actually it was your dueling guitars at the end that I said lead nowhere. But, I had a few friends listen to our melodies, and I'll PM what they said. One actually hit it on the nose.
My melody is actually what I explained about the 4 line "rule". I'm sure there's some technical songwriting term for it. It shouldn't be big or grand, it should be very dark. A child has been lost because of the lawlessness of it's protectors. That's what happens when "your deepest fears come true".
If I had a real singer on this, I'm sure they'd expand on my "interesting" voice. I know that's a nice way to say your voice sucks. : )
Nola
Well-known member
No, I actually do think it's interesting. Interesting isn't good or bad just...interesting. Something I never quite heard before.
Snowman999
Active member
And you never will again. Can I get a HALLELUJAH!
Neat note: 35 years ago tonight ST PATTY'S Day I saw U2 for the first time at The Ritz in NYC. We were up against the stage, a bagpipe band opened for them, and when they started playing, the floor beneath us moved with the energy flowing through everyone. GREAT SHOW. The one band that made the transfer to stadiums with ease.
