Defective, again......

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RAMI

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OK, last edit.

Sorry about that, guys. Made the changes I wanted to make and now it's up again.

DEFECTIVE

Defective (Words and music by RAMI)

Can't satisfy my starving ego
Suffer from sensory overload
Can't take control of my libido
Why don't we do it in the road
Carry me home throw me right in the corner because you
Say you don't know who I am any more

Chorus
I do believe I might be
I really think I just might be defective

Chronically self medicated
I like pot tequila and p0rn
Too late to be edumucated
Too dumb to know when I'm too stoned
Carry me home throw me right in the corner because you
Say you don't know what I am any more

Chorus
I think that I just might be
I do believe I just might be defective
I do believe we might be
I really think we might all be defective

Carry me home throw me right in the corner because I
Think I don't know who I am any more

Chorus
I think that I just might be
I do believe I just might be defective
I do believe we might be
I really think we might all be defective
 
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The chorus word Defective seems to clash with whatever chord change that is. Might not be dissonant but is soso...
I think overall I would up the vocals - including the backups. Not much but the guitar(s) are a bit louder.
Drums sound good - your snare seems to me to be perfect now (not that I didn't like it before).
The lead vocal is ok for me but take another go round and see if you like it better. Nothing worse than not liking something and having to hear it over and over. I have a few like that that are now mastered and I wish I had fixed.
 
Thanx Ido. Going to re-d o a few things and eat some cookies. Thanx man. :D
 
Stop pissing around and post a tune. Don't eat special cookies. It'll just slow things down.
 
Well, I got to hear it. The song seems vaguely familiar. I thought the vocal could come up a bit. Not too crazy about the intro guitar's tone. OH's sound great. :) You know that was always a nit with me....

Everything else sounds great. Looking forward to hearing the redo.
 
Sorry about that guys, didn't mean to do that. I put the song up, and then got a bunch of great arrangement ideas for it. All of a sudden, the ideas just started flowing for things I hadn't even thought of.

I'm just re-doing a few things. I should be able to edit the first post for another day or so, so I'll put the tune back up later today or tomorrow.
 
Great music as always. I may be wrong here(probably so)..but the intro guitar that plays throughout the song seems to be off time a little...may be just an audible illusion of some sort with the beat that's playing along with it. Regardless, great job RAMI
 
Bruthish said:
Great music as always. I may be wrong here(probably so)..but the intro guitar that plays throughout the song seems to be off time a little...may be just an audible illusion of some sort with the beat that's playing along with it. Regardless, great job RAMI
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Thanx Bruth. You mean the riff itself doesn't fit? Or do you mean the track seems to be ahead or behind the rest of the music?
 
I guess I where I hear it is I guess the 4th and 8th measures...when the guitar changes chords. I could be way off base though...your drumming is pretty intricate and during those parts it seems that the guitar doesn't lags behind a little.
 
Bruthish said:
I guess I where I hear it is I guess the 4th and 8th measures...when the guitar changes chords. I could be way off base though...your drumming is pretty intricate and during those parts it seems that the guitar doesn't lags behind a little.
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I see. Thanx. You may be right. I'll give it a listen again later. If it's just a matter of lagging behind, I can fix that easily. Thanx man.
 
A good read as well as song.
I was hankering for a third verse to continue the narrative.
Tight, very funky bass for the intro & riff.
Drums sound superb.
Cool song, yet another cynical story - love 'em.
 
rayc said:
A good read as well as song.
I was hankering for a third verse to continue the narrative.
Tight, very funky bass for the intro & riff.
Drums sound superb.
Cool song, yet another cynical story - love 'em.
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Thanx Ray. And thanx for making me go back and read my lyrics. I saw that the site censored the word "p0rn", had to change the way I typed it. :)
 
There's something goofy in the riffing guitar part at 0.08. Aside from that, it's perfect. This is probably my favorite song that you've done. This really works for me. So many good things about this one, but the backing vocals are really cool and unusual. Mostly it's the muscle and the groove. Nice work.
 
The vocal parts that are really low volume (first one during lead, other during outro sound off to me because they are such low volume. I do't really care for the guitar tone for the intro and at 2:35 or so, but when everything is going together its fine. But that's just me. As usual your drums are good, and I didn't noitce the extreme pans on the OHs - did you move them back closer?
 
This is my fave of yours for a little while. Is it new or have you redone it? Sounds a bit familiar. I really like the higher harmony that comes in after the little breakdown. The only thing I didn't like was the way main riff guitar changes position when the vocal first comes in - it was a bit jarring. Great stuff, though Rami! Really good mix.
 
Thanx a lot guys.

OK, so it seems that the main riff doesn't work for different people for different reasons. It's supposed to be a little awkward since the tune is "Defective", but it probably didn't accomplish what I hoped it would. I sort of wanted it to give people a nervous twitch in its' weirdness. I'll look into it.

MJB, the part you don't care for (low vocals), is that only because it's too low in volume? If that's the only reason, then it's supposed to be like that. If it sounds "off" for other reasons, like if it's off-key or pitchy, then that's a different story.

My overheads are just as wide as they always are.

This is a slightly older tune. I re-did the vocals, re-wrote some of the melody, changed some harmonies, etc.....

Thanx guys.
 
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Hey RAMI. Loving this tune! Great job overall.
I agree with what I read about the intro guitar tone. I like it when the song gets going but my first reaction was that it sounded a bit thin or shrill during the intro.
When I go back to the start now it's sounds fine, but that's just me getting used to it I think.
Is there high pass eq or any kind of lower frequency cut? I'd be inclined to knock those off just for the intro.

Vocals sound smashing!
I didn't hear any of the timing/rhythm nits that were mentioned. Maybe that's just me?

I love your mixes man. You can just sit and listen to every single element and hear it clearly.
Always a perfect example of not overcooking anything. :)
 
Steenamaroo said:
Hey RAMI. Loving this tune! Great job overall.
I agree with what I read about the intro guitar tone. I like it when the song gets going but my first reaction was that it sounded a bit thin or shrill during the intro.
When I go back to the start now it's sounds fine, but that's just me getting used to it I think.
Is there high pass eq or any kind of lower frequency cut? I'd be inclined to knock those off just for the intro.

Vocals sound smashing!
I didn't hear any of the timing/rhythm nits that were mentioned. Maybe that's just me?

I love your mixes man. You can just sit and listen to every single element and hear it clearly.
Always a perfect example of not overcooking anything. :)
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Thanx a lot Steen.

Luckily, I can change that intro sound. I actually got lazy and used a sim on that riff, instead of my amp. Maybe that's the reason it stands out so much as being shrill. I don't think I've used a sim guitar sound in years and years. The good thing is I can just go in and change the sound at the touch of a button. So I will try to get a better sound out of it, or maybe I'll just use my amp like I probably should have in the first place.

Thanx alot, dude. :cool:
 
RAMI said:
Thanx a lot Steen.

Luckily, I can change that intro sound. I actually got lazy and used a sim on that riff, instead of my amp. Maybe that's the reason it stands out so much as being shrill. I don't think I've used a sim guitar sound in years and years. The good thing is I can just go in and change the sound at the touch of a button. So I will try to get a better sound out of it, or maybe I'll just use my amp like I probably should have in the first place.

Thanx alot, dude. :cool:
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Haha! :spank:
It doesn't sound bad or anything. Just lonely. :p
 
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