Oh yeah, I know they do, and I didn't mean to suggest they ain't trying...

....but as I said, it's done as a "mathematical" process, and real tube rectifiers just don't work that way. There's a more "organic" nature to real tubes, a certain amount of randomness, unlike the homogenized math.
Last weekend I spent most of a day messing with one amp (that's when I got zapped a couple of times, like I mentioned in the Guitar Forum)...and I was trying out different tubes, to include different rectifiers and solid-state subs.
The amp can take 5Y3, 5U4GB, 5AR4/GZ34 rectifiers...and with all the pre/power tubes constant, it was amazing how much effect the rectifiers had on the amp's tone/headroom/feel.
For the amp in question (a modified 5E3 circuit that has more power and bigger trannys), I went with the 5U4GB. The 5Y3 proved to be mushy, though at some volume/tone settings, and lower gain input, it was sweet. The GZ34 kicked it up a lot, and opened the headroom quite a bit, and I can see sometimes using that...but for now it's the 5U4GB.
On some other amps where I can sub the rectifier....I'm using 5Y3 or the 5AR4/GZ34....it's a a matter of just trying a bunch of tubes and finding the combination you like most.