Come Die with Me AKA Faithful Kind of Morning

[fritsthegirl]

I think it's finished - except for ALL the things I didn't hear that you're going to tell me about without holding back.



More bass now (my playing is like a giant stomping through the song) and vocals.

Bit topical (6 cyclists died in 14 days in London). Cycling in London is a subject I've wanted to sing about for a long time. I hope I've done some justice to how desperately pissed off I feel about the situation.

Definitely up for some feedback. I changed everything quite a bit since the instrumental I posted for comments. Hopefully for the better.

The guitar parts have been re-done with my new amp, I think in tune this time (but tell me if not), I mic'ed the amp up with my new SM57. Also first of my own vocals done with this new mic. I've had it for a while but I was scared of it. Quite keen to check if it all sounds OK to you.

Thanks.

 

[K-dub]

Love the tune ... and your arrangement is really good. Drums could use more aggressive treatment ... they're not a feature, but they need more feature ... if that makes sense. At the end, with all the vocals in play, the combined levels of them takes completely over and the music sort of disappears underneath their volume. That should probably be tamed a bit. The bass fits ... but you play bass like me ... baaasic. I think someone better trained at it might add a little more "pizzaz" to the part.

All in all, a very good listen, but the mix does have a bit of a massaging still needed to get it more polished.

 

[Mr Clean]

I think it's really very good. Reminds me a little of Lily Allen (that's intended as a compliment)

I personally think all the elements are there, you just need to work on the mix a bit, in places. Sometimes the main vocal was too low and the backing are too loud. I agree with K-dub with regards to the bass although I really like the simplicity of the bassline you have here and it works for the track. I would probably go for a more melodic, walking bassline for this type a track but horses for different meals.

Just a smidgen of polishing here and there and I would say you're done.

 

[Armistice]

Hey there FTG... nice, it's coming along well. Like the subject matter and the way you've approached it (part time cyclist myself...)... now have a look at your Soundcloud wave form pic... see that bit that jumps up at almost exactly 1:00 when the second vocal comes it.. it jumps out a bit too much, I reckon.. needs to be poked back in a smidge. Same with the second time around 2:04 although not as obvious.

Vocally, consider reducing the level of whichever vocal you think is the double a little as well... they match pretty well apart when you dip the pitch down a lot "- "time" around 0:35, "survive" @ 0:53 etc.

Bit more volume automation I think too... "Bodies" at 0:39 I'd be knocking up a few db - at least the first syllable, and there are a few other places, generally the first word of a line where you're a bit quiet...

Also I'd up the snare a touch in the spots where there's a lots going on..

Good to hear the finished result and I'm not at all offended you ended up scorning my "morning" rhymes...

 

[foxje79]

I agree with K-dub, the vocals tend to drown out the music. I also noticed, at some points, its too obvious that the lead vocal is double tracked; personally, I would try to mix the lead vox to bring the double down just a bit. The composition is fantastic, though! Great song!

 

[ido1957]

The opening line sounds like a song I've heard before. Can't put my finger on it though.
The vocals are very clean and clear and carry the song really well. Mic sounds great. I found the part where there is a dip in the melody ("time" was the word I think) was a bit subtractive from the song. I would prefer a more direct hit than going up gradually. The previous comments are on the money - just a few balancing things you might look at. The melody is now stuck in my head - good sign.
PS - I think bikes belong on the sidewalk so there lol

 

[VomitHatSteve]

+1 to taking down the bg vox and doubled vox a bit.

Some of the swoops are a bit pitchy. (e.g. "dying all the ti-ime")

I really enjoyed the spoken interlude. "If they don't want to die, they should get off the streets!"

The fade in at the start is a bit strange. Makes it sound a bit like a preview clip starting up.

Lovely song about vehicular manslaughter! I've only been hit once biking since moving to Nashville. Huzzah!

 

[fritsthegirl]

Love the tune ... and your arrangement is really good. Drums could use more aggressive treatment ... they're not a feature, but they need more feature ... if that makes sense. At the end, with all the vocals in play, the combined levels of them takes completely over and the music sort of disappears underneath their volume. That should probably be tamed a bit. The bass fits ... but you play bass like me ... baaasic. I think someone better trained at it might add a little more "pizzaz" to the part.

All in all, a very good listen, but the mix does have a bit of a massaging still needed to get it more polished.

LOL, yeh the bass is pretty bad. When I got it a few weeks ago I was thinking - it's only got 4 strings, how hard can it be? Then I played it and thought - how can something with only 4 strings be so hard to play? In fact my bass playing is so poor that I only managed to learn about 5 notes for this tune.

Hear you on the vocals, I'll redo those I think, seem to be a few problems with them that I think can be ironed out with a simple retake or 10, and a bit of volume adjustment.

I'll gladly take advice on how to bring the drums out a bit more. They're just samples, but maybe by bringing the instruments and vocals down in places they might surface to the top a bit more?

Thanks for the listen and feedback.

 

[fritsthegirl]

I think it's really very good. Reminds me a little of Lily Allen (that's intended as a compliment)

I personally think all the elements are there, you just need to work on the mix a bit, in places. Sometimes the main vocal was too low and the backing are too loud. I agree with K-dub with regards to the bass although I really like the simplicity of the bassline you have here and it works for the track. I would probably go for a more melodic, walking bassline for this type a track but horses for different meals.

Just a smidgen of polishing here and there and I would say you're done.

Cool thanks Mr. I would have preferred a more complex bass line too, but just getting what I did without it sounding like a total dog's dinner was quite an achievement. I need to practice the bass MUCH more. I was listening to Jaco Pastorius a bit last week, man, that guy and his bass. The next song I'm definitely going to try and sound like him.

I'll work on it a bit more today with everyone's feedback. I'm glad it's just a bit of polishing you think it needs. I didn't really do any major mixing at the end as such, I just recorded everything as I wanted it to sound and added a bit of reverb to the vocals. So there's probably plenty I can still go back and refine. I can hear what people have said so far with a more critical ear now. I will try to clean it up a bit.

Cheers.

 

[fritsthegirl]

Hey there FTG... nice, it's coming along well. Like the subject matter and the way you've approached it (part time cyclist myself...)... now have a look at your Soundcloud wave form pic... see that bit that jumps up at almost exactly 1:00 when the second vocal comes it.. it jumps out a bit too much, I reckon.. needs to be poked back in a smidge. Same with the second time around 2:04 although not as obvious.

Vocally, consider reducing the level of whichever vocal you think is the double a little as well... they match pretty well apart when you dip the pitch down a lot "- "time" around 0:35, "survive" @ 0:53 etc.

Bit more volume automation I think too... "Bodies" at 0:39 I'd be knocking up a few db - at least the first syllable, and there are a few other places, generally the first word of a line where you're a bit quiet...

Also I'd up the snare a touch in the spots where there's a lots going on..

Good to hear the finished result and I'm not at all offended you ended up scorning my "morning" rhymes...

Thanks Armi. I'll have another go at the vocals and look at those points. The fact that they're doubled was a bit of a surprise to me, I wasn't going to do that, but kind of liked the sound of it for this tune.

You probably can't hear it so much now but I did apply that Ruby Tube filter you suggested to the piano, and worked the notes a bit to try and make it sound a bit less robotic. It did sound a lot better, but now you can't really hear it so much. Guess that was kind of the point.

Yeh the lyrics took absolutely ages. I'm still not that happy with them, but happy enough. I don't know if you guys have that programme 'Come Dine with Me? The title is kind of a reference to that.

With the drum samples, can you advise how I would up the snare? When drums are all in one track, can I still do this with EQ?

 

[fritsthegirl]

I agree with K-dub, the vocals tend to drown out the music. I also noticed, at some points, its too obvious that the lead vocal is double tracked; personally, I would try to mix the lead vox to bring the double down just a bit. The composition is fantastic, though! Great song!

Thanks man, appreciate the compliment. I'll definitely have to revisit the vocals again. That is a normal thing for me. I don't feel like the world is right if I post a song here and don't end up re-doing something about the vocals.

 

[fritsthegirl]

The opening line sounds like a song I've heard before. Can't put my finger on it though.
The vocals are very clean and clear and carry the song really well. Mic sounds great. I found the part where there is a dip in the melody ("time" was the word I think) was a bit subtractive from the song. I would prefer a more direct hit than going up gradually. The previous comments are on the money - just a few balancing things you might look at. The melody is now stuck in my head - good sign.
PS - I think bikes belong on the sidewalk so there lol

Hmmm, wonder what that song is...let me know if it comes to you because my friend said the same thing when he first heard it but couldn't place it as well.

Listening back I agree on the dip. Some of the notes were a bit out of my comfort zone. Well to be frank, almost all notes are out of my comfort zone, so I compensate a lot by working my way up to them. I'll give it a go singing it as a straight note instead, see what it sounds like.

LOL. I'd love to ride on the pavement, but when you do in London, you get yourself an £80 fine from the cops. It's easy money for them, they stick these stupid fat cops that can't do proper police work (but need the exercise) on the street. They just hide behind corners and jump, well more like crawl, out to give you an ticket. Thing is, you can just cycle away from them since you're on a bike and they can't run because they're so fat and stupid. But then you have to take a different route to work for like 3 weeks, so it's a bit of a hassle.

 

[fritsthegirl]

+1 to taking down the bg vox and doubled vox a bit.

Some of the swoops are a bit pitchy. (e.g. "dying all the ti-ime")

I really enjoyed the spoken interlude. "If they don't want to die, they should get off the streets!"

The fade in at the start is a bit strange. Makes it sound a bit like a preview clip starting up.

Lovely song about vehicular manslaughter! I've only been hit once biking since moving to Nashville. Huzzah!

Thanks for listening VHS. Glad you enjoyed the song and the spoken bit, I roped my mate in for that line. So funny watching someone using a mic for the first time. He was like a Pygmy straight out of the Amazon.

Shit, I thought I might get away with that intro. But I should know better. I was umming and ahhing over whether to do it again. I changed the start position of that part, and I should have just recorded it again instead of being lazy. I'll do it again.

I'll keep the vocal advice in mind too.

I've not been hit of my bike and been cycling here for 8 years. Touching wood as I write this. Oops that sounds a bit weird.

Thanks again.

 

[rayc]

FTG,
The bass line is right for the song. Don't change it.
A little levelling of vocals against backing is about all. I like the double vocal as it is - adds to the multiple characters thing in the conversation - I was always a sucker for songs that had singing over talking too - Gang of Four and that late punk/new wave thing.
I miss the old intro - it was a clever wrong garden path thing.
Easiest & best lesson I had for bass playing was two frets up and two strings up. Put your 1st finger on G and then your 3rd or 4th on the note 2 frets and strings higher (5th fret D string) & you have the octave - on a 4 string that works everywhere & short walks between them almost always work.
Very cool song and nicely socio-political. You should email it to cycling advocates and community radio when you're done.
Ido's "sidewalk" made me smile. We call it a footpath or in really formal settings it's pavement, what's the name in Londinium?

 

[fritsthegirl]

FTG,
The bass line is right for the song. Don't change it.
A little levelling of vocals against backing is about all. I like the double vocal as it is - adds to the multiple characters thing in the conversation - I was always a sucker for songs that had singing over talking too - Gang of Four and that late punk/new wave thing.
I miss the old intro - it was a clever wrong garden path thing.
Easiest & best lesson I had for bass playing was two frets up and two strings up. Put your 1st finger on G and then your 3rd or 4th on the note 2 frets and strings higher (5th fret D string) & you have the octave - on a 4 string that works everywhere & short walks between them almost always work.
Very cool song and nicely socio-political. You should email it to cycling advocates and community radio when you're done.
Ido's "sidewalk" made me smile. We call it a footpath or in really formal settings it's pavement, what's the name in Londinium?

Thanks Ray. The talking bit came to me because I realised I'd never get the tone of what I wanted to say by singing it.

Thanks for the tips on the bass. I'm glad you think it's OK enough to stay. I think once I figure out where the notes are, my playing will get a bit better. Also the technique for playing bass is so different to guitar. I honestly thought they'd be pretty similar. But actually, I'm finding they're not at all.

I kind of miss the old intro too, but despite trying it in 20 different ways, it didn't work. Maybe I'll see again in a while about that, I've still got the old one saved. When this new one has settled in my brain I might think of a way to combine the two. Or decide to revert back to the old one.

I was thinking I might pop it on Youtube with a compilation of other people's videos capturing the essence of what I'm talking about. Maybe send the link to London Cycling Campaign. The lyrics are probably too out there for them to do anything with it. Even though they'll know it's God's honest truth.

By the way the image on Soundcloud is of the cycling superhighway, invented by our idiot mayor Boris Johnson. It's such a safe cycle path, that 2 of the 6 people I mentioned died using it.

We call it pavement, being all proper English and that. But I'm from NZ, so I usually call it a footpath too. I never call it sidewalk. Hehe, sidewalk.

 

[heatmiser]

Wow. I really like the song, the melody, the whole idea of the arrangement, your voice and what I can understand of the lyrics. This could probably be my favorite of yours so far and is the most fully developed thing I've heard from you.

I'm not too crazy about the mix though, sorry. I'm listening on a modest little set up here, and haven't listened to anything in here in a while, but I think there's a bunch of things I'd do differently.

The levels of the vocals are all over the place. Sometimes the backing takes over from the lead, and other times what is being sung doesn't seem front and center enough. The doubling is really loose in places which happens with me too, but if there's any way you could perform that tighter, it'd help with understanding the lyrics. It felt like when you slid those notes on some words, that was where the pitch seemed awkward to me...at other times, fine.

The beat is cool, but the drums were so mellow and buried I wish you made them more of an anchor for this thing.

The bass seemed muddy and unclear to me. I could hear and feel it, but I wasn't always sure what it was doing. The guitar parts sounded very nice, but could they be panned wider perhaps to make room for the other stuff? The keys/synth sounds were really cool as well, but they were too buried.

In short, I'd like to hear the vocals and drums center stage with the vocal levels and doubling sorted out a bit. The bass prominent as well, but clearer somehow. The guitars and keys and stuff panned wider and maybe louder in some cases.

I dunno...that sounds like a lot of gripes and I apologize, but I only say all of this because I like the song so much and hear a lot of unrealized potential here. Who is the dude?

 

[K-dub]

Can you isolate the drum tracks and send them to me? If so, PM me and we can dropbox them. I'll give them some treatment and send them back to you ... with description of how I did what I did. You can then feel free to use them or lose them.

 

[Armistice]

Yeh the lyrics took absolutely ages. I'm still not that happy with them, but happy enough. I don't know if you guys have that programme 'Come Dine with Me? The title is kind of a reference to that.

With the drum samples, can you advise how I would up the snare? When drums are all in one track, can I still do this with EQ?

No, we don't have that program but I've heard of it via the English GF.. and I was sort of wondering...

Hmmm... not much you're going to be able to do there... next thing to save up for: EZ Drummer or Addictive Drums methinks... you can get a free starter kit for the latter, incidentally.

I don't dislike the bass, BTW. I think it works with the song... you'll get better with practice.. and make up more complex bass lines in future, perhaps. And please, don't sound like Jaco Pistorious.... he's a bit OTT. Aim for Flea instead...

 

[StudioHermit]

I liked the tune. I could second a lot of the previous comments, not all. As far as the bass, I really think it is perfectly simplistic and fits well. My only thing is the level maybe could come up a tad. But, I was listening on ear buds, so, might just be me. Nice work!

 

[fritsthegirl]

Wow. I really like the song, the melody, the whole idea of the arrangement, your voice and what I can understand of the lyrics. This could probably be my favorite of yours so far and is the most fully developed thing I've heard from you.

I'm not too crazy about the mix though, sorry. I'm listening on a modest little set up here, and haven't listened to anything in here in a while, but I think there's a bunch of things I'd do differently.

The levels of the vocals are all over the place. Sometimes the backing takes over from the lead, and other times what is being sung doesn't seem front and center enough. The doubling is really loose in places which happens with me too, but if there's any way you could perform that tighter, it'd help with understanding the lyrics. It felt like when you slid those notes on some words, that was where the pitch seemed awkward to me...at other times, fine.

The beat is cool, but the drums were so mellow and buried I wish you made them more of an anchor for this thing.

The bass seemed muddy and unclear to me. I could hear and feel it, but I wasn't always sure what it was doing. The guitar parts sounded very nice, but could they be panned wider perhaps to make room for the other stuff? The keys/synth sounds were really cool as well, but they were too buried.

In short, I'd like to hear the vocals and drums center stage with the vocal levels and doubling sorted out a bit. The bass prominent as well, but clearer somehow. The guitars and keys and stuff panned wider and maybe louder in some cases.

I dunno...that sounds like a lot of gripes and I apologize, but I only say all of this because I like the song so much and hear a lot of unrealized potential here. Who is the dude?

Hey Heat, thanks for the feedback, don't apologise! I'm really grateful for the time you've given it to offer some suggestions as to how to improve it, like really grateful. And I agree with everything, and will definitely look into all those things. I took a bit of a break from it yesterday, to rest my ears, but will get back into tonight.

Maybe the bass needs to be replayed, I'm not sure. Could be it comes out a bit when I fix all the other stuff up a bit. I'll have a good listen to it on its own tonight.

The vocals are going to be redone. I don't know what I was thinking there, I must have been high or something. I wasn't, but but they're a mess, they could be a lot tighter and the volume is totally manic.

Dobro's going to do some shakers as well, so I wonder what they'll sound like in the mix. They might replace the tones of the drums I'm missing a bit.

Well, thanks again, I'm glad you see potential, I'll keep at it.

Oh the dude is just some random I picked off the street. Kidding. It's a friend and fellow cyclist.