A song about the war

[LemonTree]

We wrote this when Bush and Blair were in power at the height of the gulf war. I've no idea how to describe this really. Decided to record it today, we used to play it live with a sampler for the voices of bush & tony blair.

Live take of drums, bass, guitar/vocal with a couple of guitar overdubs and vocal samples added. There's hihat & guitar bleed all over the vocal track but I think we'll probably keep most of it and build from here.

I know the mix is a bit off, just got so excited about getting it recorded after all this time. I'm wondering how you all think it holds up as a song? Still relevant, or dated now with obama & gordon broon in office?

Gimmie some feedback, people

Dear Son,


Lyrics..... A letter

Come back today
is the word around our way
you've been gone so long
you never could tell right from wrong

every night I kiss you
it's not only me who misses you


Come back today
how long must you stay
little Joe has grown up
did you catch who won the cup?


I was an easy answer
for cigar smoking chancers
who won't be around to blame
and every night you close your eyes
in your dreams they'll terrorize
you'll never be the same

Dear Son,



Come back today
is the word around our way
you've been gone so long
you never could tell right from wrong

They made it out like paradise
but you've had children in your sights
who signed the dotted line?
you might come home and wear those stripes
they give to comfort sleepless nights
only if you don't fall

Dear son, Dear son,

Dear Tony......Blair.

 

[kcearl]

like it...I dont know if you want critiques on the mix but I think the samples a bit long at the beginning...the rest is great..maybe turn the bass up a wee bit


relevant? of course.....remove the actual "iraq" terms and you have a timeless song..

 

[ksounds]

This is cool.

Mix sounds really good. Everything sounds clear and mixed well. I really like the samples. Really adds a nice touch to help reinforce your message. The helicopter and rocket panning was very cool. Your voice has a nice working man's quality to it, I mean that in a good way, in an Irish pub band kind of way. Makes the song sound real and genuine, especially when you consider the subject matter.

The only thing I hated was the screaming at the end of the song. I get what you were trying to do, but it sounded like some haunting banshees or something. More Halloween than War to me. MHO. Good job and cool song.

 

[LemonTree]

This is cool.

Mix sounds really good. Everything sounds clear and mixed well. I really like the samples. Really adds a nice touch to help reinforce your message. The helicopter and rocket panning was very cool. Your voice has a nice working man's quality to it, I mean that in a good way, in an Irish pub band kind of way. Makes the song sound real and genuine, especially when you consider the subject matter.

The only thing I hated was the screaming at the end of the song. I get what you were trying to do, but it sounded like some haunting banshees or something. More Halloween than War to me. MHO. Good job and cool song.

Thanks for the comments,

that ending I think we're gonna do as a full song with lyrics, maybe even like a return letter to the first song. It'll be minus the screaming...maybe run the songs into each other or space them out on the album, not sure yet.

The samples I'd like to work on, especialy the radio broadcast in the middle. It kinda pans around a little but I'd like to filter it like an AM radio just hanging on the station a-la a soldier listening to the BBC world service while on tour on a transister radio.

It's not my voice, I'm on bass duties here but I get what you mean about the working man/irish pub thing which is probably the same as the scottish pub/working man thing here in Glasgow...celtic connections and all that. Hopefully I'll recapture that feel when it comes to the actual vocal take.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

 

[TeyshaBlue]

Thanks for the comments,

that ending I think we're gonna do as a full song with lyrics, maybe even like a return letter to the first song. It'll be minus the screaming...maybe run the songs into each other or space them out on the album, not sure yet.

The samples I'd like to work on, especialy the radio broadcast in the middle. It kinda pans around a little but I'd like to filter it like an AM radio just hanging on the station a-la a soldier listening to the BBC world service while on tour on a transister radio.

It's not my voice, I'm on bass duties here but I get what you mean about the working man/irish pub thing which is probably the same as the scottish pub/working man thing here in Glasgow...celtic connections and all that. Hopefully I'll recapture that feel when it comes to the actual vocal take.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

I got a kinda Knopfler meets REM vibe off of this....dunno why, really.
Pretty nice mix...on my Tannoy's in my office this morning, so I can't really crank it....but clarity of the mix is very nice and unexpected with the blending in of the samples here and there. I might go for a smidge more bass guit, or maybe an eq tweak to give it just a bit more presence. The hat track kinda sticks out in the ending section...that's about the only thing that keeps this mix from really gelling. Nice soundstage...big and wide when it needs to be.
I'm kinda off on the long samples at the beginning...maybe shorten those a bit, but Im really pickin nits to even pull that out.
Nice job.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Cool song. The vocalist does sound good.

I might recommend running the samples together a little more; make them overlap a bit. That would speed them up a little and make things seem a little more frantic and urgent.

 

[Llarion]

I agree that the samples run a bit long. The hihats sounds phasey or like tape generational loss, or just HUGE in the 8-12KHz range. Just bury them a tad and you're golden. I think you could take some easy steps to remove the dating and make this a classic, timeless piece, as was said elsewhere in the thread. just make the references in the sampling a little more ambiguous...

The sample at the end of the ballad part is entirely unnecessary to the song, let the lyrics tell the tale.

I think you're right to make the fast bit at the end into its own song...

 

[LemonTree]

The hihats sounds phasey or like tape generational loss, or just HUGE in the 8-12KHz range. Just bury them a tad and you're golden.

yeah it's hihat spill coming off the guide vocal track. We've since retracked the vocal so that problem is gone. Just need to sort these samples out and we're done I think.

 

[TexRoadkill]

Nice job. My main complaint would be that the snare is getting lost on the softer parts. Seems like too much compression and/or reverb or maybe just turn it up