OT?? Guitar etiquette?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mr. C
  • Start date Start date
you have to be direct and specific.
Tell him that what he's doing sucks .... flat out. It's NOT a jam session ..... it's rehearsal with a specific goal in mind and he has to do what is needed for that purpose. If he won't/can't ..... then he's gone ..... problem solved. And if his friend walks because of it ..... then so be it. It won't hurt the band anymore than having that guitarist jerk off and screw things up.
Of course, it being your stepson complicates things and could lead to stress in the family so good luck. I played in a band with my daughter and it was uneasy at times.

Despite what Light says, I get hired specifically because of my improvisational skills.
However ..... part of those skills is knowing when to play and when not to play and how to play things that are appropriate to the song. It's not my job to cover the singer for instance, it's my job to play things that enhance and contribute to his singing. I always let everyone else have as much time as they want but I won't tolerate it for someone to start playing a solo over me if it's my time to play. I'll tell 'em to shut up in a second.
 
This is really simple. Don't try to deal with this at rehearsals; sit him down alone, where he won't feel ganged up on, and tell him point blank, "Listen up. This is my band. If you want to play in my band, here's what you are going to have to do (have focus, be respectful of bandmates, give everyone their space, etc.). If you can't do that, then you're out. Period. Go start your own band." You cannot be subtle with a 19 year old.
 
Chili said:
1) there's more about your son-in-law that bugs you besides his lack of focus at practice.
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This.

I don't know...this keeps standing out to me for some reason, and I think it bears taking a look at. I know I'm playing devil's advocate here, so I apologize...but I think it might be worth digging a little deeper into what your issues are with this kid. The harsh reality here is that your stepson is going to be around longer than your band will. Figure out what's really pissing you off about the kid, and deal with it...after all, you'll have to sooner or later, right? (Again...apologies if this is a bit presumptuous...just trying to hit the problem from a different angle.)

(off topic...I'm suddenly feeling very proud of myself for being a lead guitarist in my band, constantly being told to turn my amp up louder, and being accused of "not shredding nearly enough". Rock...my bandmates are fucking cool!)
 
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ggunn said:
This is really simple. Don't try to deal with this at rehearsals; sit him down alone, where he won't feel ganged up on, and tell him point blank, "Listen up. This is my band. If you want to play in my band, here's what you are going to have to do (have focus, be respectful of bandmates, give everyone their space, etc.). If you can't do that, then you're out. Period. Go start your own band." You cannot be subtle with a 19 year old.
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This too is sage advice, but beware the day when it is you, not he that gets bounced.
 
So did I!:D I vote we just keep changing the relation..."the consensus is that you should sit your illegitimate bastard love-child down and..."
 
Have a guy like that in my band. He simply won't STFU between songs. Nobody else plays between songs, just him. Sometimes he starts re-practicing his parts before we are even done with a song. I've asked him to stop, so then he'll just stand there with his guitar dimed out, amp buzzing like hell. Nobody else seems to have these problems. Thing is, the guy writes really good songs IMO, but he's not a great player.

And this is compounded by the fact that I am kind of the guy who takes initiative. The de facto leader. I record us, I take his riffs and put them into a cohesive song structure, I tell guys what works and what doesn't harmonically and texturally. I have a degree in music and know theory. Everyone else in the band is cool with the 1 leader concept.

Also doesn't help that he was my roomate until about 1 week ago. So maybe it will blow over now that we don't live together.
 
ermghoti said:
Talk to the band (by which I mean, those of you who are actually playing together) ahead of time, get them on board with the following plan:

1. Prior to the next practice, bring up the idea of learning song structures.
2. Agree to the structure for each song.
3. When Jimi Van Malmsteen starts meedling inappropriately, everybody else will stop playing immediately, and look at him silently, just as if he had trainwrecked the take. Which he did.
4. Tell him, "that's wrong, we'll try it again."
5. Start from the top.
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+1. Businesslike. Keeps it from being personal.


6. He'll either get it, or quit.
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Maybe. Maybe not. If he doesn't get it after a few start-stops, tell him to take the night off so the rest of the band can rehearse. Then go through the same rehearsal approach the next time you get together.
 
Or you could dissolve the band and then re-form without him, kinda like how CSN&Y re-became CS&N. :D
 
Wow, didn't think this would get to page 2!
Everyone has good points. I thought about my issue with him; I actually don't have any except the band. In fact I avoided him about the band for several weeks. That was easy because he was working the night we practiced. But, I knew it was coming and wasn't real hip on him being in the band. My biggest problem is his immaturity and my percieved sense of a lack of taking it all as serious as I do.

My decision is to talk to him and make it very clear what I expect. If he doesn't like it or continues to ignore me then I'll tell him it's not working. (Yes, being my step-son makes it awkward, but I'm the one who put this together and I shouldn't be frustrated.)
 
ggunn said:
Or you could dissolve the band and then re-form without him, kinda like how CSN&Y re-became CS&N. :D
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Ben Folds:

"Citing artistic differences the band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they got a different name
Nuked another Grandma's apple pie and hung my head in shame..."

Divorce his mother - it's the only way. You know it makes sense... :p
 
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