Man, you guys can be harsh. Messing with another man's microphone is like messing with one of his family, you just don't do it (unless it's a 57, in which case it's OK

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House sound guys have a reputation for being grumpy ol' ass holes, and, yeah, that reputation is often deserved. But I'll tell ya, you spend every weekend night until 3am with every drunken asshole in the bar telling you what to do (and that's just the band, wait until you hear the audience think they are all FOH engineers themselves about halfway through the second set) and jerks like us coming in thinking we own the place and want to in one night mess with the system they have worked out over months or years, you'd be pretty damn grumpy and defensive too.
First, when we go into their house, we are going into their house. They are not our employees, nor are they the band's employees; they work for the venue. They are the boss of their board and gear and rightly expect to be treated with the respect that deserves. Hell yeah they want input lists, gear lists, set lists and set scripts. Wouldn't you? We harp on this board all the time about how the band had better be truly prepared when they come into our studio; why shouldn't a pro FOH engineer expect the same from his clients?
Second, their job for the venue is to provide FOH for the venue. Nowhere in their description does it say anything about recording taking a priority over the live sound when it comes to mic or board setup. In fact it says nothing about accomodating recording whatsoever; they do so at their own pleasure and discretion (except under special circumstances, see below).
I can't believe what I'm reading when I hear you guys complaining that the FOH guy won't move his microphones into a different position for you or won't throw up extra mics that he normally would not use, just for you. Are you guys insane? If you want to use OHs to record, throw up a pair of your own; don't expect FOH to do it for you. And as far as the ones he already has up, he's going to do what he needs/wants to do to deliver live sound, and isn't going to change that just because someone is making a recording. He''l think, "you want to record, and you don't like the way I set up for live, then use you own gear and your own setup. I have my own cross to bear." And he'd be right.
Tapping off of FOH inserts is fine and is at the FOH guy's discretion. But to expect him to change what he has to do just because he doing you the favor of letting you piggyback of his board is just plain unreasonable. Get what you can off his board, but for the rest, bring you own gear - including you own board, your own mics and your own splitters. And stay out of his way. It's his stage, not yours.
The exception is if the band wishes to do a REAL live recording; i.e. one that's actually going out as a retail album. In which case the album producer should work things out before-hand with the venue management and with the engineers. I'm not talking about two hours before the show, I'm talking about a couple of weeks before-hand, where agreement is reached and a cooperative plan between engineers worked out long beofre show night.
G.