not to be rude but that's a completely smart ass comparision. Mic (we're talking about condenser) are essentially made using some sort of similar parts, they all have a range of frequency that they respond to, the curve of the frequency is what mostly determine the chracteristic of the mic, and EQ can change how that curve look, what does that tell you?
I'm not saying it can completely sound like the others but to a certain extent it can be modify to have some similarity.
now you're comparing it to frech fries and chocolate cake, what part of french fries does it slightly resemble chocolate cake in terms of material and standard?
Your theory looks good but there are so many more factors to consider. For an EQ to bring ANY mic to a comparable sound with ANY other, it would cost as much as my studio complete. (5 figures with an 8 in there) Study what an EQ actually does to the signal and you will learn how this theory doesnt float quite like it sounds. Its the main reason that emulations, even well written ones with lots of power to go with them are only tools of a different nature and ALL fall far short of the mark of true emulation.
These differences are usually quickly revealed with excellent monitors in a well built room.
Its too bad it hasnt gone as well as the theory. I have a friend with a Liquid Pre, and though it says it emulates, it really just makes a nice preamp with lots of different settings when compared to the real thing its emulating. This is not bad. I love it but I'm not using it to make it be an API or a vintage Neve. Since it has its own quality sounds, it makes a great tool. Just not a good copier of other great tools.
Its like that sales pitch that says "This mic sounds just like your expensive German and Austrian mics of years past!!" uhhuh.....sure.....There are things in a sound capture that dont automatically jump out and sway you to this theory. I've heard these mics.....well most of em, and I own old German and Austrian mics of the past....theres that blur in the cheaper stuff thats just not part of the other.
That doesnt make either unusable. I use my inexpensive mics a LOT more than the high-end ones. Because they do the job and do it well enough for what I need.
Just dont tell me its the 'same'. Or even a decent facsimile.
As far as a mic for dickiefunk........AT4040. In case you havent already gone there. Or an ADK Vienna or Hamburg. Theres a couple of great cheap mics! Voiced like those expensive German and Austrian mics of yesteryear..................really they are.