TaoManna Don
man of [quite a]few words
I notice that my other thread about rhyming is still active after almost a year. Rhyming is one of the songwriter's most important tools. Maybe it's time to start a brand new discussion on the subject. So here goes:
Here is a country-flavored lyric just for songwriters.
This lyric is definitely "not" on its way to a radio near you; but a lively discussion on the message contained within the lyric might be useful to a lot of songwriters. I added some notes after the lyric if you want a little more explanation. Obviously, there are differing opinions on this subject -- here's mine:
Life Doesn't Rhyme
Verse 1:
Weaving through the five o'clock traffic
You're eager to get home
There's a wonderful song idea bursting from your brain
You can't let it escape you
Before it's written down
Verse 2:
Sitting at the dining room table
The page fills up with notes
But you stumble until you stall, straining for some rhymes
You can't finish the lyric
The inspiration's gone
Chorus:
Cause life doesn't rhyme
Life can be painful or joyful
But it can't be rainful or toyful
Take a look around and you will know it...
Life doesn't rhyme
You probably won't bore us with a few rhymes in the chorus
But when the verses tell your story let them show it...
Life doesn't rhyme
Bridge:
Rhymes can come off clever, cool, or funny
You need a million rhymes or more when writing rap
Rhymes can steal the sweetness from a sober-minded song
Or turn your great idea into crap
Chorus:
Cause life doesn't rhyme
Life can be painful or joyful
But it can't be rainful or toyful
Take a look around and you will know it...
Life doesn't rhyme
You probably won't bore us with a few rhymes in the chorus
But when the verses tell your story let them show it...
Life doesn't rhyme
----------------------------
In case you're still wondering, the song's message is this: the verses tell the story, the story is a slice of life, and life doesn't rhyme.
That doesn't necessarily mean "absolutely no rhymes" in the verses, just not so many; and none, if you don't really need them. The real test is this: if you didn't have to rhyme, would you have written the lyric the same way? Or did the rhymes tell you what to say? (Hey! That rhymed!)
Notice the verses above. No rhymes needed, because the lines where rhymes might appear were different lengths and/or different rhythmic patterns. Use that technique and you will need fewer rhymes. Unrhymed verses will sound fresh in your listener's ear, even after hearing the song several times. Make your listener wait until the chorus for your rhymes and the rhymes will sound much sweeter.
Look at all the "perfect" rhymes in the chorus above. The chorus is a good place for a few rhymes but I've used too many here; too many rhymes can detract from the song's message. "Perfect" rhymes often don't sound serious enough for a serious song. Perfect rhymes have all been heard before; the ear tires quickly from hearing them again and again. Perfect rhymes tend to telagraph their counterparts -- how long did it take you to expect "show it" after reading "know it"? Rhyming "bore us" and "chorus" sounds a bit clever, but, if I were trying to be serious, "bore us" and "chorus" would detract from (not support) the message. Rhyming "rap" and "crap" sounds funny in the bridge; but it wouldn't work in a serious song. Limit the number of rhyming words even in the chorus; use near rhymes like consonance rhymes (the final consonants are the same) and assonance rhymes (the vowels rhyme) whenever you can.
I just noticed that this lyric might also be an example of a little too much alliteration. I love alliteration; but, while a little alliteration is lovely and lyrical, a lot of allitertation is a lousy overload. (OK, I've used up my "L" quota, so I gotta get the "L" outta here.)
Keep writing,
Don
Here is a country-flavored lyric just for songwriters.
This lyric is definitely "not" on its way to a radio near you; but a lively discussion on the message contained within the lyric might be useful to a lot of songwriters. I added some notes after the lyric if you want a little more explanation. Obviously, there are differing opinions on this subject -- here's mine:
Life Doesn't Rhyme
Verse 1:
Weaving through the five o'clock traffic
You're eager to get home
There's a wonderful song idea bursting from your brain
You can't let it escape you
Before it's written down
Verse 2:
Sitting at the dining room table
The page fills up with notes
But you stumble until you stall, straining for some rhymes
You can't finish the lyric
The inspiration's gone
Chorus:
Cause life doesn't rhyme
Life can be painful or joyful
But it can't be rainful or toyful
Take a look around and you will know it...
Life doesn't rhyme
You probably won't bore us with a few rhymes in the chorus
But when the verses tell your story let them show it...
Life doesn't rhyme
Bridge:
Rhymes can come off clever, cool, or funny
You need a million rhymes or more when writing rap
Rhymes can steal the sweetness from a sober-minded song
Or turn your great idea into crap
Chorus:
Cause life doesn't rhyme
Life can be painful or joyful
But it can't be rainful or toyful
Take a look around and you will know it...
Life doesn't rhyme
You probably won't bore us with a few rhymes in the chorus
But when the verses tell your story let them show it...
Life doesn't rhyme
----------------------------
In case you're still wondering, the song's message is this: the verses tell the story, the story is a slice of life, and life doesn't rhyme.
That doesn't necessarily mean "absolutely no rhymes" in the verses, just not so many; and none, if you don't really need them. The real test is this: if you didn't have to rhyme, would you have written the lyric the same way? Or did the rhymes tell you what to say? (Hey! That rhymed!)
Notice the verses above. No rhymes needed, because the lines where rhymes might appear were different lengths and/or different rhythmic patterns. Use that technique and you will need fewer rhymes. Unrhymed verses will sound fresh in your listener's ear, even after hearing the song several times. Make your listener wait until the chorus for your rhymes and the rhymes will sound much sweeter.
Look at all the "perfect" rhymes in the chorus above. The chorus is a good place for a few rhymes but I've used too many here; too many rhymes can detract from the song's message. "Perfect" rhymes often don't sound serious enough for a serious song. Perfect rhymes have all been heard before; the ear tires quickly from hearing them again and again. Perfect rhymes tend to telagraph their counterparts -- how long did it take you to expect "show it" after reading "know it"? Rhyming "bore us" and "chorus" sounds a bit clever, but, if I were trying to be serious, "bore us" and "chorus" would detract from (not support) the message. Rhyming "rap" and "crap" sounds funny in the bridge; but it wouldn't work in a serious song. Limit the number of rhyming words even in the chorus; use near rhymes like consonance rhymes (the final consonants are the same) and assonance rhymes (the vowels rhyme) whenever you can.
I just noticed that this lyric might also be an example of a little too much alliteration. I love alliteration; but, while a little alliteration is lovely and lyrical, a lot of allitertation is a lousy overload. (OK, I've used up my "L" quota, so I gotta get the "L" outta here.)
Keep writing,
Don