Nice work man. I'm not a big fan of the screaming, so I can't help you with that. Some of the vocals sound a little autotuney to my ears, but that in and of itself isn't unusual for this style of music.
Before I tell you this, keep in mind that I think you are
very talented and I'm making an assumption here that you are seriously considering making a go at the music business - so don't take it the wrong way. If not, carry on and ignore the prattling of an old fart.
The song is very very stale. I don't mean that it's not well-written or well executed by any means. I mean that it sounds just like heaps of other stuff out there on the radio right now. That will get you laid and everything, but it's not going to put you at number one with a bullet a two years from now.
Where do you want to be in twenty? Seems far off, huh?
At sixteen, I'd say you should try to dig deep for some random element that exites you and will qualitativley set you apart from everybody else. Whether it's an original vocal affectation (not recommended) or some gestalt of another musical genre, or some unusual instrumentation that makes what you do different.
Give some great old time vocalists a listen - and some of the great composers. Maybe go to school a little bit - but keep on writing.
You've got the easy part down. You know how to paste up a song and give it a melody. You've got your guitar solo and your rhythmic break and all that good stuff. What you don't have yet is a breadth of musical experience. It's counterintuitive, since most people your age (and possibly yourself) listen to a pretty narrow range of music. How do you put something across that will appeal to a broader audience? I'd like to see you doing stuff that will last fifty years - this ain't it.
I don't have the answers for you, man. But you're off to an awesome start and it's good to see young people turning around stuff like this.