Kramer said:
Tell the jail story man!
lol...I should do this in the Cave, but since you don't frequent that place anymore...lol.
I've started playing solo shows at some of the clubs that my band plays. Don't get me wrong, I love the band, and it's a blast, but we all live in seperate cities, so we can't practice new (original) tunes, and I'm too old to be in a cover band...lol. So anyway, I play a gig in Houston Saturday night, (it's about a 3 hour drive from my house)...and.....perhaps I should back up some....
I have a problem with speeding. Not so much a problem with speeding as with the fines that often accompany such behavior. Back when I was in college, I discovered that I was a much safer driver if I had an outstanding warrant. You know..."oh crap, better not get pulled over or I'll go to jail." So about 3 years ago, I was called at the last minute to appear at a hearing about 90 miles from my house...and I had just over an hour to get there. I was stopped doing 95m.p.h.. The firm I was working with said they'd pay the ticket, but they let it fall through the cracks. So, I knew that I had a warrant out...and for the last 3 years, I've been a safe driver, lol. I had a real philosophical problem paying that ticket, so I just didn't.
Back to present. I drive back from Houston Saturday night for 3 hours...I'm literally one mile from my exit, and I get pulled over for driving a whopping 6 miles over the speed limit on the highway at 3a.m....With fines and penalties, the cost of clearing out the ticket was gonna' be about $1,800.00, which I didn't have on me, b/c I'm not a crack dealer. So I went to jail and hung out with the Saturday night drunks until the judge cut me loose the next morning for "time served." Ticket gone. I know the magistrate, so that helps.
Now for the funny part. Right before the arraignment, I'm in a holding tank with about 25 other guys...I get along with 24 of them just fine, but one's an asshole. I knew I was gonna' get out after the arraignment when I saw who the magistrate was, so I casually let this guy know that I was totally gonna'
kick his sorry ass as soon as we got back from the arraignment.
(Imagine that statement declared loudly to impress the other 24 felons in the room, lol. At the arraignment, I got called first b/c of my "connections," lol, and everybody was pretty surprised when I got off for time served, and they're thinking this is the coolest judge ever...especially when he told the bailiff to expedite my release instead of the usual "after lunch" thing. So the hearing's at 9, I'm out by 9:10, and I very quietly asked the judge to lock that one S.O.B. up for at least a week or set his bail at some ridiculously high (but justifiable) amount. He was in for injury to a child, so that'll tell you what kind of an asshole he was. Anyway, by the time that guy gets out, I'm sure he will have forgotten about me...lol.
All in all, I rate the night as about a 9.5. Yes, I know this is probably weird behavior for a lawyer to engage in, but you'd have to know me...and this town...lol. Law degree or not, I don't feel or act much differently than I did when I was 17...I should probably grow up some before I hit 40.