cincy_kid said:
ok, I have to ask, I was goign to before but what is GASssss ?
)))
Beings that I've had this syndrome for years....I will do my best.
Gasssss is Gear Acquisition Syndrome....G.A.S., a Syndrome known, to be in Epidemic proportions amongst Musicians...and yes...it is highly contagious and progressive to those of a creative, passionate nature(Accordion, Bagpipe and Spoon players being immune to this Syndrome
).
Please use extreme caution, when socializing with this Species....
G.A.S. sufferers crave Audio and Music GEAR of all kinds and although the cravings seem to be relieved when a purchase is made, it is never enough. They will go back for more and more...a Music shop of any source to a G.A.S. sufferer, is what a Casino is to a Gambler.
It is an insatiable passion. The true G.A.S sufferer is happiest when amidst their
harem of purchases, in the Studio dwelling of said harem.
They are prone to spend more time with their G.E.A.R. lovers than human ones.
You can sometimes spot the extreme G.A.S. sufferers, on their rare appearances in public to other places than music shops, by their tendency to speak in rhymes as they head bang the counter top.
In some extreme instances...sliding across the floor on bent knees while screeching out Yeaaaaaah!! ....or grabbing a broom in the houseware section, strumming violently and concluding their psycho performance, by breaking the broom over a customer's head...hey, this is not as uncommon as one may think
Due to the ego-eccentric tendency of this Species to deny any addictive behavours...and their Manic tendencies to '
purchase and hide' GEAR from non-musician family and friends, they tend to be isolated in their OBSESSION from those non-musicians...(although quite jolly).
This type of isolation aloneness, also leads to a somewhat late diagnosis(of course, diagnosis only serves one purpose)...it gives the GASssss sufferer a good 'excuse' for 'why' they purchased their loved one, a Fat Strat Kit and year's subscription to Guitar Player, for the so-said loved one's birthday...'together' time they pass it off as....
G.A.S. is usually only diagnosed, once it has reached it's out-of-control stage...spreading quickly throughout the G.A.S. sufferer's heart and soul....speaking of soul...you best watch that carefully..there have been extreme GASssss sufferers known to bargain at that level !
Once G.A.S. has fully developed, it can require much financial resource, time, blood-sweat and tears, to maintain and keep it appeased.
G.A.S. when not addressed and treated properly can also lead to depression and abnormal behavour...such as performances on street corners and even worse......
Karaoke !!!!
If this level of depression and self-abasement has been reached...an Excorcism is highly recommended.
There are no known cures for G.A.S and the only known treatment for this syndrome, is at music shops...mail order music shops...e-bay...pawn shops.
For the majority of G.A.S. sufferers, the treatments mentioned above, only provide short term relief from the symptoms....and because the periods of remission are brief, it leaves the G.A.S sufferer in a constant state of danger, to be quickly
re-inflamed, with a full blown GASsssssssss incident.
There is immediate danger in the mere mention, or sight of Gear.
There is also a high death rate amidst G.A.S. sufferers in relationships....finances...and even higher rate, of 'Sanity Depletion'.
Some of the GEAR losses being so extreme, the sufferers are forced to putting boxes and wooden spoons, air guitars and curling irons back on 'Wallstreet's' High-Share-Dividends list again and again.
Some musicians go for years without diagnosis, only to be scorned upon as eccentrics, who never mature enough to be well adjusted, contributing citizens....other than to entertain the masses during drunken Celebrations of Dancing Naked In The Streets.
There is very little research being done, to find the cause or cure of this Syndrome and while most musicians suffer from some form of it...who knows those who could be afflicted next...perhaps even the Accordion, Bagpipe and Spoon players?...naw..
There is little understanding amidst the Mental Health profession of this affliction...hell, there is little understanding amidst the Music professions!!!
Mothers...guard your children!!!
NOTE:... to ALL Accordion, Bagpipe and Spoon players...I am joking...! I love ya guys!!
I love the Bagpipes!!!