thanks guys ..... I know I'm blessed and don't think I'm going around all sad sack about it ..... I generally have a happy demeanor ..... I am struggling with this though.
In the last 6 months or so I've had maybe a dozen friends/musicians die .
Some of the very best I've ever known .... some were
good friends ..... and some significantly younger than me.
Did you know I played gigs with Percy Sledge? He wasn't a bud .... but I knew him .... he's dead as shit.
A couple of the dumbasses killed themselves ....... that was rude.
Other friends just got old and reaper-man paid them a visit.
I knew John Fred
very well (Judy In Disguise ) ..... he's been dead quite a while now but he was a good friend.
Best drumber I ever knew was Billy Shumski .... he died in a house fire. Holy crap he was good ..... now he's not.
Man ..... seems like just the other day we were all playing our first band concerts in junior high ..... the colors of the lights reflected in our horns ..... OMG, I remember that so well ..... it was so beautiful ..... magical.
Earlier than that ..... in the second grade I was in choir and we learned 'What Child is This?' and me, being me even then, did learn it .... first verse everyone singing .... about 30 of us .... 2nd verse only me ... no one else remembered any words .... I'm 7 and have never sang before and suddenly I'm singing by myself .... my voice is quivering .... am I wrong? ... should I even be singing?
I finished and teacher says, "Well ... at least one person learned their song."
Even earlier ..... I'm 4 years old and the neighbors had a white baby grand and a Hammond B3 ..... I'd never seen such a thing.
I went up to the piano ..... and played a song! I had seen a cartoon with Bugs Bunny where they had drawn his fingers hitting all black keys in a boogie woogie and I played it ...... so the first time my parents ever saw me touch an instrument , at age 4, I played a song.
I was on my first record at age 12 and playing gigs on weekends.
Randy Lee had a Fender Princeton and I thought it was gorgeous until he got a Super that I lust after to this day.
In '69 I graduated ...... a few years of college (playing with house bands 6 nights a week ) and I was on the road where I got to play with or meet a LOT of players you all wish you'd played with and literally played 7 nights a week until I moved to Florida ..... and even here I play a lot although it's mostly solo ......... hell, I'm in a music hall of fame.
What a blessed life for someone who loves it so much. And even a wife who encourages it.
But here I am with arthritis in my hands definitely facing the last go-around and I find I have a need to leave something behind and I don't know how.
I've had a home studio since 1969 starting with a Teac 3340 ...... and while I have hundreds of hours of stuff .... what I do doesn't translate to tape very well.
I'm a live player and that's hard to capture on tape ... I can play with people I've never met and do music I've never heard ( my very favorite thing to do ) and play a solo that'll make people plotz .... one band I sat in with I heard two of the guys talking and one said, "It's like you point at him and say 'Go' and he turns it on".
They were amazed .... but it just doesn't come across in a recording.
Meanwhile I have to do these solo gigs 'cause we need the money so there's been a few bands around Orlando that I could have got with but they didn't play enough right at first and it just didn't work for me but now they're growing and becoming things I would want to be part of.
And I have responsibilities ..... I have a 93 year old mom-in-law that I have to do stuff for everyday ..... hey, it's what I have to do and she thinks I'm a great guy ..... like I'm her son.
I'm honored to have the chance to take care of her and she's awesome ..... but between her and the things around the house I never have time to even try to record something.
I'm just babbling here ....... I dunno what I'm gonna do but music dominates my life to an extent that even other fulltimers find a bit over the top and I simply have to find a way for it to not all have been for nothing.
I need to start writing but I can't find my muse anymore ......all music seems the same to me including my own.
If I could just write something that excited me I think I could manage to find a few days to record ....... wifey would help me do so.
And though I'd have to use keyboard drumbs, between Greg and RAMI I know I could get real drums for anything I might come up with and they'd sound great.
But right now I got nothing ..... man ..... this is hard for me ..... but one thing for sure, the time I had to spend typing up this whining could have been put to better use.
I apologize guys ...... I'm just talking out loud as I ponder what to do.