Kurzweil K2500 with KDFX or K2600 (KDFX standard).
KDFX will blow away most multiefffects boxes out there that cost around $1000-$2000 or more.
It is basically a 4 bus mixer with 2 band EQ (pre FX). Each bus can be switched to mono, then you have 8 individual ins with their own EQs. Then you can route the whole shebang to an Aux bus with it's own FX preset. On the main busses you can chain FX presets in any order you wish.
The sheer quantity of the FX algorithms available will blow you away. There are over 120 algs including reverbs, flangers, delays, choruses, compressors, gates, expanders, distortion modules, quantizer/aliaser, filters, and some other freaky sh$t that I am forgetting about... oh yah stuff like Chaos! that will completely destroy any audio you put through it
Is that good enough?

Oh, yah, quantity doesn't mean that quality suffers... These FX are world class man. They are so good that Kurzweil decided to put them in a standalone box...
the KSP8.
So, with this you can not only put your drums through one compressor in varying amounts, you can actually put them through different compressors, followed by uh, I dunno... a flanger for the snare, and then put a nice room reverb on the whole thing... but have each instrument at different wet/dry mixes. Possibilities are endless... Oh, if you feel so inclined you can even pump your entire mix through the synth to use the 3 band compressors for mastering! I am sounding like a Kurzweil ad. Sigh. And I haven't even scratched the surface. Or talked about the synthesis engine itself.