who has 2:45min time to listen?

Sure, man. I'll bite. I see you responding to orphaned threads in here a lot. Good on you.

"Epitaph":

Nicely clean. Intimate sound. Kind of a rap-kick sound there. Nice guitar. Alt-rock voice. Spastic snare drum stuff there :)

Kind of a sad mood groove. Pretty. Some of the timing is stop/go... guitar is a bit out of tune... the 1-string (high E)... about a minute into it... and from there it goes even more...

A simple little weeping song...

The voice is slightly panned right.... mix sounds a little lopsided with the guitar on the left, but not bad.

Would like to hear it tuned up... with a bass track... and some backing vocs.

Keep it going man! Nice job :)


Chad
 
I like it.

Soothing.. very nice.
The guitar work is solid. Need this on loop. Reminds me of dimmed lights for some reason..candles...gotta go!:D
No really, I'd never wake her up. Listening closer now. Like a march, or waltz either. cool. "softest moss" is cool. Again, how soothing is soft moss?
Very nice stuff.
-oko
 
clean recording..

the gtr playing is a little spotty in areas and a couple buzz/hits on the fretboard too.

nice loop sounding drum track.
 
Love the reverb you chose for the vocal... What is it? Works really well with the tune

It would really really cool to hear it with a bass line and maybe some strings added.


Shred


PS: I like to vocal eqing too...
 
Good tune.

One of the first things I noticed performance-wise, is it sounds like you might need to lower the action on the guitar if possible. I hear some fretting difficulties.

I would like to have heard some sort of change up. To be honest, it could use more movement. Just something to bring it up a notch and then you can let it back down again. Just some composition thoughts. I know it's not always best to do too much planning. So take it with a grain of salt. Is it salt? I'm tired.

Anyway, good song. Keep recording and posting! There's too much happy shit around here. ;)

Tom
 
Not much I can add to what's been said. I like the feel a lot. I also feel like it needs to go somewhere else - if only briefly. Even if it kicked into some strumming rather than fingerpicking, just for a few bars, and maybe a bass and some kind of string/keys kinda thing in the background. Violin. Now that would be cool.

Or cello.

Although...

Listening now for the 3rd time, I kind of like the way the song eases in and kind of slinks out quietly.

Um, forget my first paragraph.:)

Why don't I just delete it? Well, thought you might want to see the initial reaction.

I'm tired too.

Chris
 
missSchpelt epitaps

I'm DL'ing it now, but I noticed onMouseOver at the site that hosts your tune, the download link popup is spelled 'epitaps' .

Thus I will end up saving the tune as 'epitaps'.
 
I hear this as kind of early 70s acid folk rock... I'd like a retro mix with more reverb, like a smoother far away dreamy sound. But that's me! I like it though, neat moody sound.
 
First Listening

I think the priority for this piece of music is taking care of the fret problems. Using a litte bit thicker but softer pick might help also. Look at your posture while playing, are you hunched way over the guitar and developing a lot of tension in your right and left hand, or either ? Are you standing and leaning back to far, is the guitar strapped on to low ? Are they missed notes ... or is the guitar whacked ?

Just as when you are singing, good posture and good steady gentle rythmic breathing is important for some folks for good playing.

I'll be damned but I could swear one of the buzzing notes sounds like a violin note ... hmmm

The drums are good, tasteful.

Try running the guitar track through soundforge and smooth the track by one degree. Most of the 'puter software has a plug to smooth-enhance, try that. Or you could try some hard-knee mastering compression on the guitar track. Find the guitar peak and set the threshold about 3-4db below that, then limit at a ratio of 5-1 or thereabouts.

The vocal and the lyrics are the stars in this song.

You need a touch more high mids in your voice to enhance it and make your diction a little more clear. A few of the words I cannot understand well. Or you could run the vocal track through the enhance plug-in. Just a touch.

On the lyric 'with the softest moss', sing this louder, make this a focal point and drive towards this statement with increasing dynamics in your vocal, keep the instruments at the same level, I think you are dying here, so work it baby :-) , a kind of finality ... and then moving on in the song towards the 'apple tree'.

Make a mental note to begin taking your preparatory breaths, before you begin to sing, both a little earlier and a little slower. Breath with the rythm of the tune.

I imagine that I'm always singing, wether any sound is coming out or not. Breath with the measures of the tune, a nice medium full, gentle breath in before begining to sing. Let the belly fall out slightly, shoulders moving back as you straighten just slightly, maybe just 'think' about this ... slowly in rythm to the tune, you are an instrument also. Your voice is quite gentle as is the song, be gentle with your breath in, your preparatory breath, but get a little more breath inside your body before beginning your phrase.

From 0:44 to about 1:18, there is a great opportunity for a violin solo, or a cello-violin duet, or a viola solo. I don't think the tune calls for a full string arrangement, or a trio at that point.

There are some places that are very appropriate for sorrowful violin fills against the hooks ... this appletree thing, which is sweet I think. Maybe you could like, put a chick meeting you under the appletree, then it could be an apple-spice tree ... it's late ...

I think the beginning of the song, the very start, is too hard, let the song harden a little right before that good softest moss hook, and then let the instruments down a bit, so your vocal can shine there. I'm not saying sing those lines harder, but with just a little more support, finality.

I know you've probably cut it short for download time which is good, you know your audience and respect them. I think that is vital for the internet, at least for a little while longer.

If you will get the guitar worked on, or really concentrate on relaxing your shoulders and arms ... and wrists, to get a good guitar track. I'll add a real violin for you, if you would like.

If you want me to add a real violin, you would also need to provide me with at least a 196kbps quality MP3.

The overall quality of the mix is very nice. It's clean, the reverb is very appropriate for this type of tune.

Fix the guitar and you will have a very, very beautiful tune.

I think it is a very nice song.

studioviols@yahoo.com
 
participant said:
Sure, man. I'll bite. I see you responding to orphaned threads in here a lot. Good on you.
Click to expand...
..that because I wouldn't like it to ask for help and nobody answers me

participant - you're right, it needs a bass track, but I don't think that it needs bgv..I think..
I just bought yesterday a cheap bass(squire) - I really have to put basslines on all my tunes, so the time has come for me to learn playing it.. I actually noticed after reading your post that the guit is left-panned.. shame on me


okobd - glad you liked it!
'on loop' - should I make it longer?
okobd said:
Again, how soothing is soft moss?
Click to expand...
-- like my pillow :D:D


mixmkr - thanks mix, I know, the guit needs a retracking


shredfit - it's the 'reverb32' plugin wich comes with cubase;
for the moment, I'm too afraid to destroy the tune by putting a bass on it with my 0-bass-knowledge, but I think some strings could fit well into the song

SLuiCe - maybe one day I'll be able to record a guit-track(30sec) with less than 10 'difficulties'.. :( It's kinda frustrating, cos I'm playing guitar for 1 1/2 years now, and I'm not getting better at all

groucho -
Originally posted by groucho
Um, forget my first paragraph.Why don't I just delete it? Well, thought you might want to see the initial reaction.
Click to expand...
- how right you are!
the tune makes everybody here tired..so I have to make a loud punk song to wake all up :p

schenkerguy - I admit, I also thought about putting more reverb there..I'll wait with that till I have some strings for it

studioviols - at first, thanks for spending so much time to listen and to answer me so detailed!!
about the song-name, actually, it's called 'epitaph' - it's just the file who was named wrong;
as I've written above(SLuiCe, he's a really good guit player), I play bad - I recorded about 10 tracks wich I did cut then together, and there are still weaky spots there.. :o:o
then, when I finished the guit(at 6 a.m.) , I recorde the voc, wich isn't good! but I'll redo them.
- now I start to believe that I should make the tune ~30sec longer..
anyway, about the violin, I think it's a good idea, I write you a email now......done!

again, thanks for listening, guys!!

Harry
 
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