What do you think of these lame lyrics?

[KaveKong]

The song is titled "I'm the Man" is pressed to CD and sucks.

When I had the music finished I waited months to get the good gear to record the vocals, and I thought for sure it was going to be a hit. It sucks. Back to the drawing board. The problem is that I don't like the song, even though I think it has potential. Go figure. Here are the simplistic and totally-been-done-before lyrics:

Hey, baby, come over here and talk to me.
Cause you're the kind of woman that I really need (uh, huh).

And oh, oh, oh baby (I'll be waiting for you)
And oh, oh, oh baby (My heart is aching for you) --these two pieces overlap slightly for meter

If you want somebody new (and if you want somebody true)
Then make a stand and take my hand and tell me, baby, I'm the man.


The chorus says "I'm the man" over and over.

The second two versus sound about the same. Pretty lame stuff, eh?

The song is finished, but I don't know how to post music.

 

[ido1957]

KaveKong - "lame" (i.e. simplistic or cliche maybe) works fine if the music, melody and delivery are good.

Your comments about James Brown confirm that theory.

If you think you can do better, then you have two choices:

1) rewrite the song until you think it is better
2) write a different song that you consider better

Option 2 is my preferred method as it feels good to get a song "done" and move on with a sense of accomplishment. Rewriting can go on forever.

Posting the MP3 - some options:

Soundclick.com (get an artist sign up)
Lightningmp3.com (so sign up and easy to use)
MySpace.com

 

[MrStitch]

IMO, people shouldn't post lyrics looking for opinions. Think about it... If you sit down and read some random lyrics like you read a book (which is how we read them here), you'll find that most lyrics sound really stupid.

However, apply them to the right tune, feel, delivery approach, and next thing you know it's at the top of the charts.