What do you think about these lyrics

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BlindMansColour

New member
They might drag on, but try if possible to read through the whole thing then tell me what you think! Thanks!

Where do we begin?
Where can we find the end?
Do you feel this is real?
Oh the world is surreal

Is it right to fight?
Can we stay for the night?
Is it wrong to believe?
In what we can’t see

Should we follow the rules?
Or break them as tools
For those that we need
Signs tell, you don’t heed

I don’t think I can die
Is it true that you cry?
Would you like a relief?
Would you like me to leave?

Do you use your brain?
Is it used for gain?
Could you show us how?
Could you show us now?

Has it come to this?
And will you miss?
How can you say it’s so?
When you can’t even know

Where do we take the time, to waste the time, when time is only wasting us?
 
Not sure what it means, there are a lot of lines that really don't fit (e.g.--"And will you miss?" Miss what, or whom. Or "miss vs Mrs.", or is someone going to throw something at you? Another wierd line--break them as tools?) You sometimes seem to really stretch to find a rhyme--but don't stretch far enough.

I came away with a Dr. Seuss vibe.

Just my opinion, though. Your song, your lyrics.

With good screaming rock/punk music behind it, it could be a hit.
 
BlindMansColour said:
depends on if you interpret them right....btw dr seuss was a genius
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then your on the right track in someones mind. i think the lyrics are good if they are good to you. whats more important these days is to make sure the lyrics fit with the song rhythmically.

"Yeeeyyahhhhh"
 
KonradG said:
i think the lyrics are good if they are good to you. whats more important these days is to make sure the lyrics fit with the song rhythmically.
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As Konrad said, do the lyrics match the music? In just reading it seems to be too many lines which are questions but perhaps you are trying to leave the listeners to their own interpretations. Even so, there's a lot of question marks. Keep in mind, however, that's just me. Someone else may love the songs sense of questioning everything.
 
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