Woah... That song scared the living daylights out of me! It was kind of like hearing a song playing backwards for the first time. There's so many odds and ends in it that it kind of makes it hard to follow along with. Nothing really compliments anything but I think that's what makes this song so charming. The distorted rhythm sounds like it could use a bit more highs and maybe a little low end as well. I didn't really hear any bass guitar. Was there one in the song? It kind of reminds me of early Marilyn Manson... A lot.
You have great creativity. All in all, I think that with a few EQ tweaks on the guitar and a brighter snare, the song would be great. But then again, you lose a lot of definition when you compress a .wav to a 128 kbps .mp3.