Treason - New vomitHatSteve "prog" rock song.

[VomitHatSteve]

I've started on a new concept album. The concept being that all the songs are just plot synopsis of other artists' works.

First off: Orson Scott Card's A Planet Called Treason.
Treason (MP3)

As always, constructive criticism and unadulterated praise are welcome.

Sorry son you're gonna have to leave,
or you'll disgrace the family name.
Though you've become a radical regenerative,
your father loves you just the same.

The Nkumai have gotten iron.
You've gotta find out how and why.
Until you become to freakish to live,
you've got the perfect disguise.

Long ago our forefathers thought they'd express complaints against the Republic.
Banishment to a planet called Treason, ought to do the trick.

Soon Lanick was found out,
and forced once again to flee
Desperately trying to regenerate.
"Hey, look! Another me!"

Frantically hail a boat,
but shoved in a deep dark hole.
Emerge months later as a monster,
with scars etched deep on his soul.

Geological survey showed right away no metals heavier than lead.
Build yourselves a space ship and rejoin us here with the iron that we've traded.

Learn the Schwartz; cured again; go back home; confront your friends;
flee the jungle; control time; fight the Andersons; genocide;
meet your clone; cure him too; Lanick Mueller, your journey's through;
go to Humping; flee the world; Lanick Mueller, you get the girls!

On Treason!
We're all stuck on Treason.
We'll never get off of Treason,
and we don't care.

Treason.
We all live on Treason.
We'll all die on Treason,
and we don't care.

 

[PDP]

Ha, cool song, not the usual sounding production sounds, which is why I like it. My only nit is the bass, I'd find a way to build it in more, as it is, sounds like the kick is the lowest freq, I'd bring in the bass a bit more there. I really like the bridge that has the vocal ascending into the end of the song,... Treason.... Treason.....

Great job Steve!

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Thanks, PDP! I like the bridge too. I got that far in writing the song and realized that I still had two thirds of the book to go and only a bridge (and possibly one more verse) to do it in before the song got too long!

Hmmm... When I get a chance, I'll poke at the bass end of things. I'm worried about things getting muddy though. (I've got 4 tracks of basses and 4 tracks of bassy, downtuned guitars in there.)

 

[Greg_L]

Pretty cool. How many concept albums are you doing? What happened to the guys colonizing the far away planet in the future?

This one sounds decent. I think your last clinic submission was better though. I remember the drums being better. I'd like to hear more bass on this one. I can just barely make out a cool bass line. Bring it up more.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Well, after this one, I've got two rock operas in the hopper. By the time I'm finished those, odds are good that I'll have written more.

With the space colonists, the story just ends after the rebellion starts. I figured a war between the haves and have-nots within the first interstellar colony was pretty likely, but predicting the outcome of that war would be baseless speculation! I actually called that project finished and released it as a downloadable EP. (Or you could, you know just listen to the versions you got from the mp3 clinic...)

There's a lot more going on in this recording, so I'm not surprised the drums got a little more buried. I'll see if I can bring those up a bit.

I actually turned the bass down. I thought it was too prevalent. Maybe I misjudged that though...

Thanks, Greg.

 

[arcadeko]

Great concept man - I only read one SOC book and I wasn't very impressed but from your lyrics, this one sounds better - maybe I will pick it up.

I like the background vocals - and the crazy vocal scale climb thats great!
Im on PC speakers ATM but the drums sound a little flat here (ala cardboard) -
And I m not hearing much of the bass at all - I have a feeling this is cause of the speakers I am on

Performance was good, I liked the build up - I will try to listen in monitors

Great arrangement and overall I like it a lot! Really cool song man. I like concept albums (and SciFi )

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Thanks, Arcadeko!

Ok. Mix 2: MP3 | FLAC

The bass has been brought up, which should help both the "There's no low end" and the "I can't hear the sweet bass licks" issues.
I also twiddled with the drums a bit. Hopefully, they're a bit better.

 

[Tobe]

Feels like I'm in New York (never been there unfortunately)... way too much distortion... but nice and soft in a low-res way.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Psahw! No such thing as too much distortion!

Thanks, Tobe!

 

[PoeticIntensity]

Not too bad, Steve. It has your signature sound for sure. You've got a pretty unique sound, and as distorted as it is, it isn't hard to listen to at all. Interesting lyrics, too. Good job, man.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Thanks, PI!