Ok, here goes.
The cymbals are a bit tizzy and loud in the mix I think.
The vocal effect is a bit over done, I would love to hear a different way of singing personally rather than a dated effect.
On "sister of mine" lyric, the first one you don't resolve the riff at the end, it trails off. The main vocal seems too edgy mixwise, too much high boost, it's like you recorded with a bright mic and also eq'd it up more.
The piano is fake so hiding it would be a good idea but in this song I think it wants to be a bit more clear. I would eq out some of the mids and lows on the piano and boost it a bit.
That's all I got, it's actually fine as is.
I am not getting a real point vocally which is fine but it seems to have a sort of "spiritual" message.
Really, there's nothing that would keep me coming back, it's great for a home recording song but overall not a something I'd spin again and again for personal pleasure.
Is that brutal enough?
