Thoughts from songwriters?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Garry Sharp
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Garry Sharp

Garry Sharp

Lost Cause
We've been talking before about playing around in new directions. Here's a rough demo of something written around a bass riff and starting to explore harmony and rhythm coming together. Possibly :confused:

It's a rough production and really is just an early demo - the poor old singers are under-rehearsed - but I thought it might be of interest as it ties in with some of the conversations we've been having. It's just comments on the song I'm looking for, but I know you'll all say whatever you want :)

It's called Kickstart Your Heart and it's Track No 1 here:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=2045&alid=-1

All the best

Garry
 
Afternoon Garry,
Nice groove. Liked the harmonies. Couldn't understand the lyrics well enough to associate the title. It's probably my 50mumblemumbleish ears. Maybe post the lyrics (either here or at NoWhere)?
FWIW
Also, server disconnected 3/4 of the way through. :( But, I got enough of it to say...
...Good start,
Bill
 
G#,

You really do channel that 'era' that I mentioned in the old Fostex post when I first heard your stuff!

I really like how the bass influenced the verse vocal rhythm into something original, but would like to hear the chorus/bridge sections explore the rhythm more instead of going to the descending quarter and whole notes. More of a staccato/synchopated thing, if that makes sense...
 
Thanks Bill, and mrx ;) Just can't help writing that sort of stuff.

What I was trying to do with the bridge was contrast a frenetic bass with smooth vocal harmonies, in a ridiculously ambitious attempt to match music to lyrics (singer's advising her friend to slow down in the mad mad world of modern relationships). Doesn't mean it worked though :o The chorus was an attempt to bring a shift in groove and a stronger melody (well, a hook, you know I love hooks)

Bill, here are the lyrics, which are extremely simple:

Kickstart Your Heart

Love a little walk away
Live to love another day
Love a little walk away
Live to love another day
Don’t believe a word they say
All you want is your own way

Take Your Time Girl
You Rule Your World

[straight in]
Never heard my mama say
Got to give your love away
Never heard my papa sigh
Dammit girl you’re way too shy
Never heard my brother cry
How I hate to say good bye

Talk Slow Walk Fast
Leave First Laugh Last

Kickstart your heart, you’ve gotta take control
Look and you’ll find, a way to tame the world
You play the game, you write the rules for you
Wait for the day, you can come shining through

Lover man so hard to find
One who knows he must be kind
Don’t believe a word they say
All they want is their own way
Love a little walk away
Live to love another day

Then it just repeats the bridge and chorus.

Thanks again for the comments, and for being understanding about my atrocious keyboard playing and leaden drum sequencing.

Garry
 
Garry Sharp said:
Thanks Bill, and mrx ;) Just can't help writing that sort of stuff.

What I was trying to do with the bridge was contrast a frenetic bass with smooth vocal harmonies

Thanks again for the comments, and for being understanding about my atrocious keyboard playing and leaden drum sequencing.

Garry
Click to expand...

The keys are actually very cool!

In terms of the bass, I find it much more hooky than frenentic - think No Doubt - it's smoother than you think. Pour some caffeine in the chorus!
 
I really liked it, man. Not really even my genre, but I really thought it sounded cool. Way better than most of the stuff I find and I go around looking all the time. I'll have to download it when you get it finalized.
 
mrx - I think what the chorus needs is another instrumentalist. The caffeine would come from another part zinging around, one with more inspiration than old Garry on bass can come up with. Robbie the singer and I chatted about this last night and decided the only way forward is to put a band together again. Hmmm...

Thanks for the post AU, very encouraging. There'll be a "slight delay" for the final version while we assemble some musicians!!
 
Finally! I have a 2500.00 Mac that wouldn't stay connected and when it was it wouldn't download your song. I had to put my humble old Linux box on the net to get your song but it was worth the wait. Very good comp my friend, I especially like the way the vocal walks down with the Bass line. Robbie has an awesome voice and the "frenetic" bass adds tension to the piece while the vocal line provides a form of release. I found it rather refreshing, a little old, a little new. I agree that some more instruments would fill things out but not too many, you wouldn't want to lose that tug-of-war feeling it has. I too look forward to a complete version. I will post to let you know when I get some stuff ready to listen to. (a band huh? wonder how much gas it would take to drive to London?)
Later
Jeffry
 
Jeffry - thank you for making all that effort to listen to it! Robbie is actually far from happy with her vocals (the song is new to her) but I'm going to leave it alone until we get some more players.

Anyway - very encouraging comments, thanks my friend. Read your last post in the bass thread and look forward to hearing some stuff. Glad you kept your Rick ('tho I have to confess I sold mine - they either work for you or they don't).

Cheers

Garry
 
Hi Gerry.. :)

Just some thoughts on the song.
first , I love the hook and title.

Kickstart Your Heart

Love a little walk away
Live to love another day
Love a little walk away
Live to love another day
Don’t believe a word they say
All you want is your own way

( assuming this is a kind of intro.. this is good..simple.. I think perhaps the first words of each sentence are too rushed in the singing..might slow it down just a tad. and I am not sure you need to repeat the last ones. IMO in doing so...it takes way too long to get to the hook and title of the song. you kind of lose interest before you get there. )

Take Your Time Girl
You Rule Your World

[straight in]
Never heard my mama say
Got to give your love away
Never heard my papa sigh
Dammit girl you’re way too shy
Never heard my brother cry
How I hate to say good bye

( this is a good..simple verse)

Talk Slow Walk Fast
Leave First Laugh Last

Kickstart your heart, you’ve gotta take control
Look and you’ll find, a way to tame the world
You play the game, you write the rules for you
Wait for the day, you can come shining through

(love the chorus)

Lover man so hard to find
One who knows he must be kind
Don’t believe a word they say
All they want is their own way
Love a little walk away
Live to love another day

( don't beleive a word who says? men? the man?)

to me though.. it's kind of sad, even though I know it's not meant to be lol.
because.. Love a little..walk away.. live to love another day.
the message it sends...walk away from love.. me being a hopeless romantic.
have to disagree with it :D

Overall simple..a really good listen.
those are just my thoughts..take or chuck :)

Smile.
 
Thanks Smile, you make some good points. Will think about what you said about the first verse (intro as you saw it). Could be scope for rearangement there.

As for it being sad - well, you're not wrong, on the other hand, if you read it as advice to my teenage daughter, to, er, not go falling head over heels too quickly then maybe it's more cautionary than sad.

Anyway, thanks for listening and commenting.
 
G# I love this song... Can't really say anything bad about. kinda reminds me of His Name is Alive a bit.. and that is a good thing :) fantastic work.
Randy5235
 
Randy - you know how to cheer a guy up! Thanks for listening. :)
 
love it, man! Great hooks very strong melody interesting harmony very eighties! I'd like it to build a bit from the two minute mark?!
 
Hi sonic. This eighties thing keeps coming back - you must be right ;)

You're also right about the need to build it - we are in limbo until we add some talent to our line up. Thanks for listening and posting.

Going offline for a week now because in 45 minutes (3.45am our time :( ) the taxi for the airport arrives to start our week of sunshine, tennis, dinghy sailing and DRINKING in delightful Corsica. See ya :D :D
 
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