The Dregs (Down at the Bottom)

First time ever posting anything here for critique... it's just something I'd been working on this past week and finally uploaded it last night. It was supposed to be an entry for this past weeks Song Fight!, but I didn't finish it in time due to technical difficulties, so I figured I'd post it here to see if anyone cared to have a listen and post some feedback. I'm not sure what kind of music it is... but I seem to make something different each time I create a new song... Rock? Pop? Thanks for your time.

The Dregs
Ujn and Reve

Pale green waiting rooms lend suffering an edge
Chemicals occlude and overpower my consciousness

I awaken with everything I stole
Vague anxiety... irreconcilably

I will watch it slide down
To the bottom in trepidation
Sentiment, it breaks down
At the bottom we... rest

I've been clawing for a while at shadow selves
I've painted my face to masquerade as someone else

I collapse in to everything I stole
Dread anxiety... shaking violently

I have watched it fall down
To the bottom of... this
The charade, it breaks down
At the bottom we... end


Gear used: Line 6 UX2, $25 Davison P-Bass, Tech 21 Steve Harris Signature, 1992 Peavey Predator, 2018 Vox Starstream, Tascam DR-10X (as a mobile vocal recording rig), $18 Excelvan BM-800 Condenser Mic, Unknown Synth & Unknown Drums, Reaper 5.998, Various VSTs during Mixing.

Ujn and Reve - The Dregs (Down at the Bottom) by Ujn Hunter & Friends | Free Listening on SoundCloud
 
There are some cool things happening in this track, the mix is good & the Vox is clear and leveled well.
Overall sounds good, nice work!
 
I loved the feel of the start of the track-the bass sounds great. Then the vocals came in-so dry and in your face, it killed that mood to me. Not that i think the singing is bad it just conflicted with the mood of the music. I think the heavy compression overall has pulled the vocal too far forward, this track is pretty slammin and it doesn't really need to be. Kick drum sounds pretty heavy for the piece especially when its alone. I really like the song, lyrics, melody, arrangement all excellent, but the cohesion between the performance/mix/master seems off.
 

Himalayanger

New member
I agree with Stratomaster...I loved the vibe of this track as well...but when the vocals came in I found it to be wayyy too loud compared to the other elements in the mix. It almost felt as if the vocals were overly compressed and lacked the necessary dynamics as well....it didn't seem to gel together with all the other elements in the track. Maybe I'm wrong though...Please note that I'm listening to this on my laptop speakers.
 
Thanks for the feedback everyone! You're right about the compression... the vocals are slammed and could probably use much less compression, I was having a hard time getting them to sit right and I really don't like when a vocal is "buried" in the mix... but I probably went too far in the other direction. It's always super difficult to judge based on my headphones/car stereo and working with my own vocals makes it that much harder. I appreciate ya'll taking the time to listen and post your feedback, I will try to take it into consideration on my next song.
 
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