I remember being impressed by these lyrics . . .
when I read them in the April the challenge.
There are a number of observations I would like to make as I listen to the actual song.
1 I hear a fair bit of "swishiness" about the sound, which I suspect is an artifact of MP3 compression. I checked to see whether I had clicked on the lo-fi version by mistake, but I don't think I did.
2 I am fond of relentlessness, so intrinsically this track appeals to me. I like the steady, unvarying rhythm and pattern, and the space you've generated.
3 Unlike other suugestions for this song, I wouldn't like to hear more instrumentation or harmonies in it. As I said, I like the space.
4 But, I am not a fan of the distortion guitar lead breaks. There's probably a bit too much present, in volume and amount, and I would prefer to hear less played with more fluidity. However, I do like the other guitar bits and their effects.
5 So, what I can hear in this track is more of this treatment, i.e. a greater use of almost subliminal noise, letting the guitars generate, say, harmonics, or other incidentla noises.
6 Like Rayc says, a real kit would help, but I understand that access to drummers is difficult.
7 Someone said that the bass would sound better if given treatment to make it sound more like an upright bass. In fact, an upright bass would sound awesome on this track. But I think that a Lou Reed type of sound would work as well.
Anyway, it is a track that holds a lot of potential!
