The Dream - Advice Please

[up-fiddler]

OK.... So here is the link to the rough draft I threw down for the April Challenge. I was starting to work on it again when I was told by a couple of friends that they liked it in simple form better. If you have time, please weigh in on this. Do you think I should add the harmonies and build up the guitar and percussion parts or should it stay like it is only tighten up the fills a bit? (They were one taked with my Profex pedal and my Tele.) I have come to trust your judgements here and as a result am putting out a better product than I did years ago. For that I thank you one and all.

 

[dream1up]

i don't think I should be one of those trusted ppl yet since I just joined...but here's my 2cents

i like where oyu're going w/ the song, just the percussion seems a bit too repetitive. i guess lower the sound of it or just have the cymbals beat.

 

[ido1957]

OK.... So here is the link to the rough draft I threw down for the April Challenge. I was starting to work on it again when I was told by a couple of friends that they liked it in simple form better. If you have time, please weigh in on this. Do you think I should add the harmonies and build up the guitar and percussion parts or should it stay like it is only tighten up the fills a bit? (They were one taked with my Profex pedal and my Tele.) I have come to trust your judgements here and as a result am putting out a better product than I did years ago. For that I thank you one and all.

Tough call - this has a cool feel now that I can groove to.

If I were to suggest stuff in the way of production I would:
- retake the lead on the first section of the last verse
- keep the cool effect after the "death" line
- take the drums down a touch
- add a clean, rhythm guitar - electric using neck pickup or acoustic
- add harmonies to the chorus

I'd try the embellishments to see if they work out, but keep this copy as the original version. If possible put the new stufff on different tracks so you don't lose your original stuff.


The mix would be affected by adding a second guitar so I'd watch you don't step on the vocals too much as they sound nice and clear now...

 

[Whatmysay]

This sounds much tighter than the previous version – like the guitar trails even more.

Could you squeeze the bass a bit more – maybe a little EQ to give it a woodier (double bass) sound. I like the reverb f/x on the snare and this variation of percussion you should build on.

I am not crazed about the snare sound – without thickening the mix at all - why not try a bit more variation to reinforce the lyric. The 2/4 drive is great and I wouldn’t want to lose that – but what about a brushed snare lower in the mix and bring the foot drum up more with a fat skin sound (contrast the woody bass) – then on top of all that some well placed percussion – not ‘German expressionism’, but a kin to the lead licks – while the snare/foot just pump away underneath. What about a bit of Flanger on the snare?

I’d like to hear harmonies on the last Ch/Outro – just to raise it significance.

But I’d go with the general consensus to keep the mix lean – but you need a bit of variation to highlight some of the vocal passages.

HTH

Burt

 

[rayc]

The song DESERVES a real drummer - the bass line deserves a real drummer too.
If you had a motown stomp going on with that bass, the vocal phrasing & the guitar licks a bit further back it'd be SO COOL.
Can you drop into the MP3 mixing clinic & put it up for a collab - there're some great drummers there who are very generous with their talent?
It's a fantastic idea & fabulous song - !!!!!!!

 

[gecko zzed]

I remember being impressed by these lyrics . . .

when I read them in the April the challenge.

There are a number of observations I would like to make as I listen to the actual song.

1 I hear a fair bit of "swishiness" about the sound, which I suspect is an artifact of MP3 compression. I checked to see whether I had clicked on the lo-fi version by mistake, but I don't think I did.

2 I am fond of relentlessness, so intrinsically this track appeals to me. I like the steady, unvarying rhythm and pattern, and the space you've generated.

3 Unlike other suugestions for this song, I wouldn't like to hear more instrumentation or harmonies in it. As I said, I like the space.

4 But, I am not a fan of the distortion guitar lead breaks. There's probably a bit too much present, in volume and amount, and I would prefer to hear less played with more fluidity. However, I do like the other guitar bits and their effects.

5 So, what I can hear in this track is more of this treatment, i.e. a greater use of almost subliminal noise, letting the guitars generate, say, harmonics, or other incidentla noises.

6 Like Rayc says, a real kit would help, but I understand that access to drummers is difficult.

7 Someone said that the bass would sound better if given treatment to make it sound more like an upright bass. In fact, an upright bass would sound awesome on this track. But I think that a Lou Reed type of sound would work as well.

Anyway, it is a track that holds a lot of potential!