tell me what you think

[gtr_guy26]

Whiskey bottle in his hand
Tonight could be his last chance
He hits his knees and cries out loud
Oh Lord please won't you help me now

And he just wants to be free

Empty bottle on the floor
And he can't feel his pain no more
The devil whispers in his ear
He says hey son the end is near

And he just wants to be free

Forty-five by his side
A single tear drop from his eye
Stains a letter to family and friends
Cuz he may never see them again

And he just wants to be free

The morning comes with a blinding light
He made it through yet another night
He counts his blessings and he gives thanks
Somehow he gets a second chance

And he's finally free


© 2006 K. Candies

 

[Emusic]

For me the only verse (or chorus) that had some art in it - was the last one. The others were for me just so clichy. Sorry, but thats the way I feel.
Try to use less cliches when you describe this situation for him?
Sure; we can all see the picture when you use "paintings" like "Whiskey bottle in his hand", but it is used soo many times before that it doesn´t draw a picture in my mind that makes an impact.

Best wishes. Keep it up.