Tears In The Rain (Work in progress)

J

Jeffaklumpen

Member
This song has been gathering dust on my harddrive for a couple of years, never got the inspiration for vocal melody/lyrics.

I've always had a hard time writing the vocal part since i REALLY can't sing so usually I create the melody with guitar. Now I've actually tried experimenting with AI for the vocals. I started by writing the melody with guitar and making lyrics, then I sang everything which sounded awful, but I got the notes and rhythm I wanted. Then I used the AI Suno to change my vocal part to what you hear in this recording. It's an amazing tool to visualize how the track can sound with an actual singer when you can't sing yourself.

I got some inspiration from Iron Maidens Fear of The Dark and the lyrics/synth from Blade Runner.

Since it's not entirely finished I'm mainly looking for feedback on the composition and not the mix. I'm planning on getting it recorded with real vocals in the future with a friend, but I want the melody and everything to be ready. The guitar solo is also going to change, it's just some improvisation at the moment.

Thanks in advance if you take the time to listen :)
 

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Jeff , I thought this was Amazing ! , Especially for an early mix/master. Big "Blade Runner" fan and have used the line "Tears in the Rain" myself.
I'm sure there are lots of changes to come later...
What hit me first was the Synth intro was maybe a little to hot and forward in the mix . I think It needs more of a calm and laid back ominus feel to it. I think it could be shorter and still get the same feel across before the next section comes in. It seems the Great synth work in the origanal soundtrack was pretty "Smoky" and subdued.

As far as the AI vocals... I thought they were Steller ! "Good luck" finding another singer to reproduce that.
Enjoyed this , Great musicianship on Everything. Enjoyed it .. mark
 
This is pretty titanic. Suno is crushing it :). Agree with Jeff that the synths could at least start a lot quieter. Always good to have a gradual crescendo.

Overall this is magnificent. I love the beautiful synth fade.

If we imagine that there's a godlike singer paired with a superstar shredder, the singer has already started delivering and shining. But around 3:50 is where the axe prima donna gets his time in the spotlight, and I think the shredding could be even more epic up front at that moment. It doesn't really rock out until 4:20. At 6:44 total song length, IMO there's stuff that can be cut, and I think maybe those calmer licks right at 3:50 could be taken out without serious loss of quality.

I think you should be more rigorous with the call and response that starts at 5:26 in the sense that the instruments should never cover the singing. It's disorienting when they fight with each other. For instance at 5:30 the instruments come in too soon. I'm working on a similar section in a song right now and I'm just throwing out brilliant playing because I can't hear some of the even more precious words.

This really rocks and I salute you.
 
I was impressed. I liked it.
I think this is a very good starting point that could use a little bit of arranging and production.

First thing I’d do is shorten the intro. Takes too long for anything to happen.

I could really hear the great departed Ronnie James Dio doing this song.

Might want to listen to some Dio productions for arrangement ideas?

But overall, with some work, I think you got something epic.
 
mark skinner said:
Jeff , I thought this was Amazing ! , Especially for an early mix/master. Big "Blade Runner" fan and have used the line "Tears in the Rain" myself.
I'm sure there are lots of changes to come later...
What hit me first was the Synth intro was maybe a little to hot and forward in the mix . I think It needs more of a calm and laid back ominus feel to it. I think it could be shorter and still get the same feel across before the next section comes in. It seems the Great synth work in the origanal soundtrack was pretty "Smoky" and subdued.

As far as the AI vocals... I thought they were Steller ! "Good luck" finding another singer to reproduce that.
Enjoyed this , Great musicianship on Everything. Enjoyed it .. mark
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Thank you for the kind words! :)

Great feedback! I'm going to take another look at the synth part and probably shorten the intro a bit.
 
Deylight said:
This is pretty titanic. Suno is crushing it :). Agree with Jeff that the synths could at least start a lot quieter. Always good to have a gradual crescendo.

Overall this is magnificent. I love the beautiful synth fade.

If we imagine that there's a godlike singer paired with a superstar shredder, the singer has already started delivering and shining. But around 3:50 is where the axe prima donna gets his time in the spotlight, and I think the shredding could be even more epic up front at that moment. It doesn't really rock out until 4:20. At 6:44 total song length, IMO there's stuff that can be cut, and I think maybe those calmer licks right at 3:50 could be taken out without serious loss of quality.

I think you should be more rigorous with the call and response that starts at 5:26 in the sense that the instruments should never cover the singing. It's disorienting when they fight with each other. For instance at 5:30 the instruments come in too soon. I'm working on a similar section in a song right now and I'm just throwing out brilliant playing because I can't hear some of the even more precious words.

This really rocks and I salute you.
Click to expand...
Thank you! :D

Will defenitely take another look at the synths at the intro, probably shorten it a bit as well. The part at 3:50 was actually a bit longer but I cut some of it, I'm going to try and make the singer improvise something there and see how it sounds, depending on how that goes I might cut or do something else.

Yeah the part at 5:26 I've been struggling with :/ I worry that it will get annoying if there's one voice line at every pause, but I agree that it defenitely needs some polishing around that part.

Thank you for the feedback, It really helps! Back to the drawing board :)
 
RFR said:
I was impressed. I liked it.
I think this is a very good starting point that could use a little bit of arranging and production.

First thing I’d do is shorten the intro. Takes too long for anything to happen.

I could really hear the great departed Ronnie James Dio doing this song.

Might want to listen to some Dio productions for arrangement ideas?

But overall, with some work, I think you got something epic.
Click to expand...
Yeah the intro seems to be an upcoming issue so I'll defenitely take another look at that :)

That's a great idea! It's been a while since I listened to Dio, might give me some ideas!

Thank you for the feedback and kind words! :)
 
I've shortened the intro a bit, made the synth slightly less aggressive in the beginning. I also made some changes at the final part so the instruments and the vocals don't overlap as much :) Thanks everyone for amazing feedback!

I'll keep tinkering!
 

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Jeffaklumpen said:
I've shortened the intro a bit, made the synth slightly less aggressive in the beginning. I also made some changes at the final part so the instruments and the vocals don't overlap as much :) Thanks everyone for amazing feedback!

I'll keep tinkering!
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Jeff … it’s getting better already. And this version seems to make it so I hear the lyrics better.

Mind if I ask your age? Teens, twenties, thirty’s don’t need to be specific. I ask because you seem youngish. There’s a freshness in this tune. If indeed I’m right and you’re young…… you’ve got a future ahead of you if you keep up with it. 👍
 
Thanks for this topic. I liked it. Actually, I remember the original but had sort of forgotten it, so i might actually spend some time on this. I see nothing wrong with long tracks, and the best bit is time gives you the space to develop ideas. Synths with slowly morphing soundscapes can sort of have the time and space to develop, then in yours, the whole thing changes to something new. No need to time limit creativity. Of course, you might lose listeners when it changes but thats just how it is. Years back I loved so many prog rock intros, that lasted 3 minutes, and hated the song when we got to it.
 
RFR said:
Jeff … it’s getting better already. And this version seems to make it so I hear the lyrics better.

Mind if I ask your age? Teens, twenties, thirty’s don’t need to be specific. I ask because you seem youngish. There’s a freshness in this tune. If indeed I’m right and you’re young…… you’ve got a future ahead of you if you keep up with it. 👍
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Glad it's heading in the right direction! :)

I'm in my early 30s! Thank you kindly, for now it's just a hobby. Me and my friend are planning on releasing an album however, but it might take a while 😅
 
rob aylestone said:
Thanks for this topic. I liked it. Actually, I remember the original but had sort of forgotten it, so i might actually spend some time on this. I see nothing wrong with long tracks, and the best bit is time gives you the space to develop ideas. Synths with slowly morphing soundscapes can sort of have the time and space to develop, then in yours, the whole thing changes to something new. No need to time limit creativity. Of course, you might lose listeners when it changes but thats just how it is. Years back I loved so many prog rock intros, that lasted 3 minutes, and hated the song when we got to it.
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Glad you liked it! :)

I've always loved long intros, but I realize that many don't so I usually try to land somewhere in between. This is one of the longer compositions I've made, and the goal was to not repeat anything, like going back to a verse or chorus but have the song always evolve and I hope it works.
 
Jeffaklumpen said:
I've shortened the intro a bit, made the synth slightly less aggressive in the beginning. I also made some changes at the final part so the instruments and the vocals don't overlap as much :) Thanks everyone for amazing feedback!
Click to expand...
Kinda of got this alternative Journey feel to the song - who is the orginal? And are those your vocals? Am I hearing right - are they slightly tuned on the the top end?
 
Papanate said:
Kinda of got this alternative Journey feel to the song - who is the orginal? And are those your vocals? Am I hearing right - are they slightly tuned on the the top end?
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I've written the song :) The vocals are made with AI, Suno.com. I created the melody with my guitar, then I recorded it with my horrible voice and changed my vocals to AI. It's a placeholder until I can get a real singer to record, but it's a great way to visualize how it can sound with a great singer.
 
I liked it a lot.
I agree with others that the synth intro was too long. It was around half way before the drums kicked in.
You could chop 2 mins off that.
Ditch the AI, when you can, so that it is actual real music. That vocal is good, by the way.
The intro synth is lonesome. It could be decorated with maybe 'violined' guitar, and maybe some floortom rolls coming in, here and there.
The synth at the end, I wanted to hear some toms dancing around, into the fade-out.
You're doing good!
 
Slouching Raymond said:
I liked it a lot.
I agree with others that the synth intro was too long. It was around half way before the drums kicked in.
You could chop 2 mins off that.
Ditch the AI, when you can, so that it is actual real music. That vocal is good, by the way.
The intro synth is lonesome. It could be decorated with maybe 'violined' guitar, and maybe some floortom rolls coming in, here and there.
The synth at the end, I wanted to hear some toms dancing around, into the fade-out.
You're doing good!
Click to expand...
Glad you liked it and thanks for the feedback!
Violined guitar sounds really interesting, I'm going to look into that! I agree that the intro might need something more.
I've got a real singer in mind to replace the AI, just have to find the time. The AI is mainly for making sure that I like the sound of it before recording.
Thanks for listening! :)
 
I listened to the first and second version, I liked the second better. The build up was better and I though overall sound was better. I thought the vocal sounds good. I need to check out Suno myself. My only nitpick is the last 30 seconds or so of the outro, I didn't hear anything. I thought it can't just be dead air, and turning up the volume brought it out. Maybe the outro needs fade more slowly so it doesn't sound like the song ends abruptly.

In reality, only you know what you want to hear. I thought both were good and the kind of music you would hear in an epic movie sound track. It's going to be awesome when you get everything exactly like you want it.
 
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