talk about polishing a terd....

  • Thread starter Thread starter jamal buchet
  • Start date Start date
Well, yeah, Chris is a little flat, but sometimes a cent or too off is OK, because it doesn't sound like it's been pitch adjusted. Whoever said the drums sound great, don't do that to Keith Moon, he's turning over in his grave. I can't make out more than a third of the words because the lead vocal is muddied up with FX or "tewb" color, or something. Chris has a gift for vocal overdubs, and they're the bright part of the song. The main problem is the song lacks dynamics. It doesn't get loud (or soft), it doesn't change tempo, or tone color, or key, or anything. The drumming is either a drum machine (which suck without exception) or a drummer who thinks he's a drum machine, which also sucks. This needs a bridge, or a modulation, or some change at some point. God I hate dance music. -Richie
 
Dance Music???

You know...I have a philosophy. Opinions are okay, even if they're not yours.

My opinion obviously differs from Mr. Monroe's, and my recollection of "dance music" is that it sounds...ummmm...not at all like this song.

I vote for GREAT SONG...(mucked up a little by this poster)...

Thanks for listening and commenting.
 
:eek: ...ouch!......well at least there WAS a bright spot....:confused:



hangin it up,
jamal
 
No Sweating Allowed

Hey Jamal: Don't give that review a second thought. I think I figured out what happened. He listened to the wrong song. I'm pretty sure he listened to "Supposed to Do," which was on my page, which used a drum machine, which had no bridge, and no dynamics. That's the only thing that makes sense to me on that one.

BTW - LOVE THAT KICK-ASS BRIDGE IN YOUR SONG J!!! He must not have gotten that far...roflmao.

:D
:D
:D
 
Sorry if I ruffled the feathers, I can be as brutal with my own stuff, but I did in fact hear the song, and I'm not trying to start a shootin' war here. You post songs up to ask for comments, hopefully honest ones, and I have to call them the way I hear them. Bridges are things that involve a change in tempo and chord structure, and I could set a metronome to the pulse of your piece and never have to change it. My criticisms are simply that the lyrics aren't intelligible and both the rythym and harmonic structure of the song need *change* to avoid monotony. What you presented is a series of verses with no discernable chorus or bridge. The attempted bridge is too much like the rest of the song to stand out as such. Go back and listen to The Beatles and clean up the lead vocals so you can hear the story, assuming there is one. It's only one guy's opinion, but that is how I think you could make the song better.-Richie
 
Richard Monroe said:
God I hate dance music. -Richie
Click to expand...
Hey man...no worries. It's just music. But yeah, I do have a problem with your method. Setting aside for the moment the question of whether this is a "dance" tune, how in the world would you expect a comment like yours be constructive or help "make the song better?"

I think everybody is entitled to their opinion, but I don't think that EVERY opinion that pops into my head needs to be published. I'm not a jazz fan, but when I critique a jazz piece, I take it for what it is, and I don't ask for distorted power chords to be inserted. This is a totally straightforward pop song...so if you're not into that, then I'd stick to the comments about the mucked up vocals.

No warrior here...I'd just do it differently.

I sincerely appreciate everybody who listens to ANYTHING here, and I thought your comments about the vocals were enlightening...especially since none of the 50 people who critiqued this song in two threads mentioned having any problems making out the vocals...So thanks for taking the time to offer your opinion in that area.

And please don't think I'm being overly defensive here...since you actually said something NICE about me :D :D I just think it does more harm than good to critique a song like this from a SONGWRITING standpoint if you admittedly "hate" the genre.

Lastly, and very seriously...can you NOT make out the chorus in this song? Really? Because I think that would be truly odd for somebody who cares about music as much as you obviously do.

AND THIS ISN'T MY SONG, SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE MY BABY JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE?!?!?!?

heheheh...I'll say no more about this. Seriously, thanks for taking the time.

-the mediator
 
Thanks for the advice, I really will try to be more constructive in the future. You see, I *can* make out the vocals, and they're very good, I just can't make out the *words*. Many fine musicians have this problem when they mix vocal pieces. They treat the vocals as an instrument and set it in the mix for a perfect *musical* balance. This is great for accent vocals, and that's why the overdubs work. The problem is that the story often gets lost in the mix. Actually I like pop music just fine, but I am disturbed by the current trend in pop music and particularly rap to maintain a constant metre and dynamic level throughout the piece. Older pop, whether it be The Beach Boys, the Temptations, or whatever, seems to involve the dynamic and tempo changes they used to call " a gimmick", which is not a gimmick at all, but just good songwriting.
The truth is, if the song really sucked, I probably wouldn't bother to comment. Probably I'm just in that mode, because I've been doing the same thing to my own admittedly flawed songs for about 5 months now preparing guide tracks, and I think I've hurt my own feelings a few times. Thanks for the constructive comments.-Richie
 
hey guys, I finaly got to listen to the new version... and since Chris actualy though anything of my comments I felt I had to ... he..he...

Chris whatever you twicked ... it's defenetly clears it up nicely ... the panning and levels are better IMHO it brought up cool guitar riff in one spot that I didn't notice before ... very nice man ... couple of things that I didn't like was ... now it's more apperent that guitar sound is not so good ... mainly for that crackly/sandy breakup sound ... the twicking brought it up... also I'm "mixed" on the harmony in the "jumping guitars" part ... you trying to catch his vocal or something and it messes up the timing a little ...

I like how you added another chorus but I thoug original begining was fine ... well one more ... :) ... not sure about that echo on vox ... good idea but it muddies it up a bit ...

anyway it's all subjective ... good job guys ... I still like the song which is even more subjective ... it must be generation gap with Richard .... :D ... "Temptations" :o ... palease ... :rolleyes: :D :D
(just in case ... I'm jocking Richard :) )

cheers
 
shite?

Bucketheads? Mmmm.... someone's on drugs, and the paranoia's only begun...

Ride cymbal/hat seems a tad too crisp... 12k, or so... like what you've done with the lead vocal... panned hard one direction and delayed the other, with the rhythm guitar coming from the center. Man, there's enough 'verb on that snare drum to make Phil Collins blush :eek: :eek:

Jamal's vocal delivery has a Don Henley/Steve Miller thing to it... or something...

Good energy in the song, and there's definitely a market for this song. Eh .... one guy doesn't like omelets, so you close down the coffee shop? :rolleyes: :mad: :(

Keep workin', jamal. Negative vibes are what keep good artists motivated :cool:

With that fully in mind... you suck :D


Chad

PS: You too chris ;)
 
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