song I wrote for john mayer

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grn

grn

Well-known member
john mayer is running a competition (well was, you can't enter anymore)... anyway... he wrote the lyrics, I wrote the music and recorded.

criticisms and questions welcome. I call it "that's enough, john mayer". I have learned a lot about recording in one year from this board. this is where I'm at now.

 
That was really impressive. I loved the sound of the acoustic. My only complaint would be the drum machine. Or at least it seemed like it was. As far as the composition, it was interesting but started to lose it's flavor after a while because it seemed too much the same all the way through. But still, a very impressive job.


Steve
http://www.soundclick.com/opensky
 
Can't say enough about this. Undoubtedly one of the best submissions to the board I've heard. Your pop chops are spot on, your voice goes from good to great as the song progresses and lends itself to harmonies, which you have clearly got a handle on.

Seems almost a pity to talk about any recording flaws - I'd buy this regardless of any changes - but the earlier point about the drums is valid, I think. They sound a bit diffuse behind that quite cutting guitar tone you've chosen to drive the song, which it does just fine. I'm getting tingles listening to just about everything in this song, but the drums are not quite extracting that final bit of groove juice. I intend to listen to this a lot more and would for the first time be genuinely interested in hearing further versions of this.)

The phones I'm using (Koss Porta Pros) are good sounding cans with quite extended deep bass, and there's something about the bass I want to hear more of in the tune - it's there, doing its job, but I wouldn't mind hearing it more as a feature of the arrangewment.

Guitar solo sits quite nicely, and again, way more tasteful and fitting in style than a lot of stuff I hear posted. It's kind of 'screaming' to be double tracked IMHO - not necessarily a second identical take, just short delayed and split for fatness.

Building vox I can't fault. Brilliant. There does come a point where the repeated chorus with all its vox does become a wee bit repetative - as it nears the end - but all it's missing is the addition of a few sounds here and there to move it along, add colour.

May be the download, or my mp3 player, but the last beat is off. Perhaps that's not on the original, but if it is, I'm sure you're aware of that already.

Great, great job.
 
yes, the drums are a bit sterile... they're real drums, but they're sampled - so I'm not sure what to do about that, maybe work in some slight off timing hits?

the lyrics were by john mayer - I did want to do more for the build up and it is repetetive... I'm just not sure where I can go with it? any suggestions? I really think this is one of my poorer musical ideas, but better recordings.

guitar solo was double tracked, but I don't like the middle section of it, the down scale. can you elaborate more on the bass arrangement? I thought it was fairly... unique. like a bass solo throughout the entire song.

thanks for your responses!
 
Im impressed man, i really enjoyed it.

The only thing i could really pick out, and thats being pretty picky, is the drums which i think have been mentioned already above. The actual sound was nice, but they just sounded a little too 'mechanical'.

I loved the whole vocals you got building up near the end, really nice stuff there.

when i heard the first riff i thought it was going to be a cover of Blur - Coffee and TV but a nice change when the chords changed and the vocals came in.

Overall, very nice man, keep em coming :)
 
maybe get some of lows from the acoustic out. thats all really.

edit: when i mean lows, i mean like the subsonic type ones.
 
Last edited:
Anthrax said:
maybe get some of lows from the acoustic out. thats all really.
Click to expand...

I know what you mean, but i think thats why i like this piece, its not just the same acoustic piece as you normally hear, its a different sounding acoustic, its still nice, just unique.
 
Dude, nice song. It actually fits in very well with the other music you have posted. Nice sounds. Bass has a killer tone. Mixed in very well. Vocal harmonies at the end are really good. Very smooth sounding. Nice tune overall.
 
Really curious to hear this one,

sorry for posting after myself
 
I'm curious enough to ressurect this ancient thread. Any chance of a re-post?
 
you guys are bastards ;) it's uploading now... so you should be able to download it in a minute using the same link as above
 
Very nice. I realize it's been forever, but I'd like to put out one idea. Not to be a pushover or anything, but I really think that this song calls for something other than the piano... something more impressive. Honestly, my initial thought when first listening was that the piano sounds cheesy when it comes in. My idea, which I admit is probably less subjective to this music than the piano part as-is (since you'd obviously want to retain the straight-through mainstream approach that someone like John Mayer would probably go for), is that the piano part would sound better (to an oddball listener like me) if replaced with recorders (stairway to heaven style), and a gradual build-up with more wind instruments like saxaphones and maybe an entire brass section. Of course, make the drums build up beneath. You know the drill. That, or be more realistic by starting out the piano part with an organ that sounds like whistles or whatever, and then build up for the piano part to come later. The piano fits for an easy-listening pop sound which is not bad by any means, especially for this song, but I just happen to be all about the build-ups. Regardless though, kudos! (Sorry about all the parenthesis. I usually avoid using them. Same with ellipses... *shudders*)
 
I like it!

Makes me realise how much easier recording is when you have a singer worth hearing. Although at the start you sounded more like Billy Corgan than Rufus (and not in a bad way)!!!
 
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