Song about cheating on my girlfriend

leavings

leavings

Member
Hi everyone,

here's the second post-worthy mix from my new album. It's called Anne-Marie, about trying to resist the allure of a girl I met at a show. I'd really appreciate feedback on both the arrangement and mix. I'd especially like to know if you think the arrangement needs anything more, and if so, what?

You can download the attachment, or if you prefer streaming audio go to reverbnation.com/thepoemadept. I posted the lyrics below for those of you who want them. Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

Cheers,
leavings



Anne-Marie

I was on stage at the Owl and Thistle, picking with The Boys
Hollerin’ Whiskey in the Jar when she walked in
The head of every man in the bar swiveled like a toy
To the table where she sat down with all her friends

This guitar and I have been around, met many girls in many towns
And I’ve been true to the one heart given to me
But as the chorus boomed and we locked eyes, and she broke into that piercing smile
I knew how deep in trouble I was bound to be

Anne-Marie, cut from the cloth of a fantasy
But I got a woman, she’s everything I need

We’re flirting on the set breaks, spurred by the alcohol
And we punch each other’s numbers into our phones
Then the show is over and the lights are on, and they’re shouting out last call
And the night’s too old for a girl to be walking alone

Well a man can hold the waters back only so long before the dam will crack
And temptation finds a way to overflow
In the later days of retrospect, I'd bite my lip and curse my breath
For not calling her a cab and getting myself home

Anne-Marie, cut from the cloth of a fantasy
But I got a woman, she’s everything I need
Anne-Marie, the prettiest jewel I’ve ever seen
But I got a woman, she’s everything to me

I’m at the door to her apartment with my hand beneath her dress
And she’s asking if I’d like to come inside
She throws her jacket on the floor and starts taking off the rest
Oh lord I’ve got a woman and I’m treating her wrong tonight

Anne-Marie, cut from the cloth of a fantasy
But I got a woman, she’s everything I need
Anne-Marie, pulling me into her on the sheets
But I got a woman, she’s everything to me
 

Attachments

  • Anne-Marie 5-16-12.mp3
    6.8 MB · Views: 33
See, when I read the lyrics whilst waiting for the file to download, I hated it already .... but when I actually heard the song, everything changed and it all just worked.

Sounds really nice - you have a really good voice and a nice subtle touch on the electric guitar, including some nice little flourishes here and there, and it's a strong song.

I hate you... :laughings:

But seriously... well done dude - just can the story, it doesn't need to be explained. If I have one minor niggle it's the line about "cut from the cloth of a fantasy" - doesn't work for me, but hey, I'm picky. Chix will dig it.. that's the main thing.
 
I love this song.

I think its pretty perfect.

Its actually something i'd like to learn to play by a campfire lol. whats the tabs? haha!

really well done vocally... i can really hear/feel the emotion.

edit - the only thing i'd advise is there is a low frequency in your voice that needs to go!
 
Thanks for the feedback!

Armistice, what was it that you hated about the lyrics upon reading them? They're not going to change at this point, but I'm curious why you had that reaction. Also, what do you mean by "can the story"? I'm pretty good at taking criticism, so feel free to speak your mind.

Bisson, I'll try messing with the high pass filter on the vocals. I may have set it too low. Don't have time to tab it out fully, but the chords are pretty straightforward; if you want them I can send them to you.

Anyone else? Thoughts, criticisms, suggestions, praises, insults?
 
leavings said:
Armistice, what was it that you hated about the lyrics upon reading them? They're not going to change at this point, but I'm curious why you had that reaction. Also, what do you mean by "can the story"? I'm pretty good at taking criticism, so feel free to speak your mind.
Click to expand...

I can't speak for armistice, but I thought that the song *is* the story and doesn't require the explanation in text up front - it's not actually criticism of the song :-)
 
Sounds good to me leavings - agree with both main points already posted that firstly your vocals are very nice and secondly that the 'cut from a cloth line' jars slightly - it's just a little clumsy. The electric sounds good when it comes in too.

Chix may dig it, but only until they realise you're singing about your infidelity ;)
 
They just have to like it enough to buy the album, and not a hair more.

Thanks for all the feedback. Anyone else have thoughts?
 
Sounds Pro,

Mix is right on listening here, nice full sound, highs are done well very present without getting to harsh. Lows are full without boom.

Great work!
 
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