Some song i wrote

  • Thread starter Thread starter Scrubucket7
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Scrubucket7

Scrubucket7

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just wonderin what people thought of this song fo sheezy

find myself hoping for apacolypes
and now im leaning toward suicide
and i wish that god did exist
so i can beg him to let me die
im looking foward to my death
looking foward to the end
cause this pain brings me to my knees
but yours brings me back up again

I wish that you could symptathize
the world is burning in my eyes
this is my dream, my destiny
another desolate prophecy

its just a start, but i kinda like it...other people thought it was pretty sexy, just wanted some more opinions

thanks
 
I agree. It will definitely bring out some sort of emotional response from the listener one way or another. Is the song about a break up? You said in the song yours brings me up again. or is it a reference to a friend?
Very creative.
 
I guess it's hard to write an upbeat tune.....

after all.....how many of us are happy all the time....

but, that's what I think people like more.....party...... upbeat......
groovin' happier tunes.....ya know?
 
Too subtle;)


Seriously, it does have a nice feel of desparation. Now take it somewhere. Either tell us how to got to such a state or tell us what you're gonna do next...
 
i dont know, ive just always been a not very happy kid. Its not about any break up or anything...more just anger and feeling like theres nothing to life...like if you read all my songs, there either about society or depression...they all pretty much have the same tone. Well thanks for tellin me what you think, im definitly gunna work on finishing it, but right now i gotta work on instrumentals for my band alot more, so i never really have time. But yea, alot of people do like happy songs, but most of my friends think what i write is good, and its all depressing. and ive made attempts are happier songs...they dont work out very well though. well thanks and ta ta.

-fuzzy slippaz
 
joro said:
I guess it's hard to write an upbeat tune.....

after all.....how many of us are happy all the time....

but, that's what I think people like more.....party...... upbeat......
groovin' happier tunes.....ya know?
Click to expand...

Try writing an upbeat sad song.. now that is hard!
 
Axis said:
Try writing an upbeat sad song.. now that is hard!
Click to expand...

"Just a Gigilo" is another great example of that. I don't know who wrote it, but the most recent recording is the David Lee Roth version.


A
www.aaroncheney.com
 
And people say MY stuff's depressing

As my guitarists daughter said.............."But Dad, depressing is in"


Seriously though, it's harder to evoke an emotional response with cheery songs about butterflies and sunshine, especially as you mature and realize how fudged up the world can be. Also if one intends to make an impact through music there needs to be an expression of sadness, anger etc. to provide an impetus (SP) for change. If it's already "a beautiful day" why bother changing anything? Well goddammit it 'aint a "beautiful day".
 
butterflies and sunshine????????


that's just bad songwriting man...

it's all about the message....


the story..........


the hook...............



people gotta like it and a lot of people would rather be brought up than brought down....

it's like a smile....

it's contagious....ya know?


Joe
 
I couldn't agree more, but you can make them share your joy for 3 min. 28 sec. or get 'em pissed off enough to make some lasting changes.
 
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