Some Newbie Songs - Feedback Requested

W

wblake

New member
Hi everyone, I've lurked a little bit and gotten a lot of advice out of these forums but am mostly a complete newbie here and this is my first post.

I have been doing some songwriting and would love to get some constructive criticism if possible. So far only some family & friends have heard my stuff.

If you are so inclined and could please give a listen... I have 4 songs here, all 4 are just me & guitar and pretty rough just to get the song structure together so the recording quality is not great but the focus of these tracks is primarily on songwriting.

In addition, for two of the songs, I have the beginnings of putting together more complete multi tracks, but these are by no means totally together either, just more fully formed 'sonic ideas' at this point.

So I'm looking for constructive criticism of the songs themselves for all 4 ("Live Demo" tracks), plus constructive criticism of the recording / mixing techniques for the 2 dated tracks.

My tracks are on last.fm. My "band" is called "Listless Existence" and the "album" is called "Too Cheap To Meter."

Apologies if this is not the correct forum for this or not the correct way to share songs - please let me know if so and I'll correct it.

Thank you and I look forward to your feedback.
 
Links....

This probably should be in the Songwriter's Forum, but post actual links, not directions, and you might get some feedback...
 
What is it you want feedback on? The recording? The playing? The songs themselves? THe singing? All of the above?
 
Sleep Tight (Live Demo):

It is what it is.

Sleep Tight (2010-11-06):

I felt that I could get into the song if the recording was a little better.

The drums have a nice presence to them, but they're way out front. The singer should be out front.

I think this song needs a crunchier guitar sound. The flanged guitar is too smooth.

Have you done any room treatment?
 
OK - re-read the requirements
Just my opinion, which, with $3, will get you a coffee at Starbucks but the songs are very basic, consisting of only strummed chords and a standard "following" vocal line. Sort of thing people do wihen they're not yet (notice I said "yet") very good at singing or playing or music generally. But hey, Billy Bragg started off in a not unsimilar vein, soundwise...

You sound like you were strumming guitar and singing at the same time. If so, stop immediately and multi track so you can concentrate on one thing at a time for a better result.

Slow it down a bit and I could be listening to Velvet Underground on 1969...

Both of these artists I mentioned wrote lyrics that were sort of compelling in their own ways and that covered the sometimes godawful lack of musicianship - and Billy Bragg got lots better in time, as for Lou Reed....

I have no idea what you're singing about, but then I'm only listening to snippets and not the full songs.. but they're not grabbing me from the bits I'm hearing.

There's nothing musical going on in the guitar playing, just chugga, chugga chords in each song... and the tone doesn't vary at all. Fiddle with some knobs, please... change the sound a little.

I don't want to be discouraging, but I think you need to work on all aspects of this... especially your playing, singing and songwriting.

Go do an open mic night or something where people can hear you... that's a better way of getting feedback than bitter (who me?) anonymous souls on a BBS... but if you do, understand the difference between solidarity clapping and real applause..

Props for being brave enough to put it out there though, but I think you need more practice.

I'll leave feedback on recording techniques to others as I think that's the least of your concerns.. :drunk:
 
First off thanks a ton diggy_dude for posting the link. I was not allowed to post a URL that is how much of a newbie I am.

I wasn't sure whether to go with songwriter's forum or what, the one thing I know for sure is I'm new here so I figured start here.

For the "live demo" tracks the recording is just awful and I'm sorry for that, I really kind of threw these down in one sitting. Worse yet the guitar is just direct into the board on these... so yeah for the "live demo" tracks the feedback I'm looking for is really on the songwriting.

The other two tracks I'm looking more for some feedback on recording techniques and mixing and all that and they kind of help to give an idea of where all 4 of the songs' final sound is maybe kind of headed.

Equipment ... my rig is a real mish mash of things some of which have sentimental value. I'm recording using Audacity through an old Tascam 424 MKIII which I'm basically using as a mixing board through to my laptop via USB (not using the tape portion of the Tascam). I have a Shure SM58 which is my primary voice mic, I record my voice dry then add a little reverb after in Audacity. I also have a couple of other mics neither of which is worth mentioning, but a Sony stereo condensor mic and a Shure Prologue. I use all of them to record the drums (SM58 on the kick, the sony hovering over the set, the Prologue out in the room 4-5 feet). I have a Fender amp and a Rivera tube amp.

One more thing, my voice, I am getting geared up with a voice instructor next week so hopefully that will be improving :-)

Thanks again.
 
Thanks Armistice you are probably hitting the nail on the head really - I have been trying to work up my courage to do an open mic. And you are correct I am playing plus singing at the same time on all the "live demo" tracks, and I'm not very confident with my voice - in fact one of the ways I'm trying to get over it is to just "put it out there" as you say. Your comments are very constructive and I appreciate the thought behind them!
 
Oh diggy one more thing - and sorry for these repeat posts I'm just kind of excited to have gotten some feedback - as for room treatment - the room is my dingy basement, it's pretty awful, concrete floors, cinder block walls, bare pipes above, and tons of crap all over. Great ambiance but not so great acoustics. I did lay down some carpeting in my work area. But "treatment" - no and I wouldn't even know where to begin! Mostly I point the SM58 right into the amp for guitar, and bass I don't amp just record direct line and same with vocals, so basically I'm more or less avoiding the room rather than using it for the most part.
 
You did a decent job of miking the drums. You should try miking the guitar amp instead of running direct. The vocals need eq, but I get the impression you're recording in an untreated room and won't be able to fix it until you treat the room.
 
In the songwriting forum, is it better to just focus on very simple demos (me & guitar) for feedback, even if my intention is to do full multi-track mixes of the songs?

I agree with Armistice's feedback because I am a beginning songwriter so I am not ashamed that my songs are simple... though I want to learn to improve them, especially to get away from the "strummed chords and a standard 'following' vocal line" Armistice mentions. I can feel that and I want to learn how to get away from it. So probably spending some time in the songwriting forum makes sense. So I think what I'll try to do is re-record those "live demos" better quality and post them individually in the songwriting forum for additional feedback. And in the spirit of community I really need to start listening to others' stuff there and participating as well...

I'm really happy with the feedback on the drums diggy because I spent a lot of time and trial and error trying to get the sound I got and I was actually kind of happy with it. I don't think it's a "pro" sound or anything but it accurately captured what I was hearing live, and so to me that was a win. Also, I'm a godawful drummer so anything above godawful is pretty good for me where drums are concerned.

So my second plan of action is to go back and do some reading and research on room treatment and see what can be done with my basement to improve the situation there.

Thank you again I was a bit apprehensive about what kind of response I'd get with this roughly recorded stuff but it got me into the pool!
 
Man, this forum is annoying me... I keep losing long posts just as I hit Submit! Grr...

Take 2

Hi there.. could I suggest the following:

Pick a song - any song - record it again, singing it in your head but not aloud. Just guitar. Put guitar down and put that baby on repeat for an hour and, without guitar in hand, work the vocal. Change things. Melody, phrasing, timing etc.

See if, at the end of the hour, you haven't developed a vocal that you consider better. If so, record.

Sonewhere in there, do something completely random... how do you think Blur came up with "woo hoo" in Song 2 - one of the most iconic music snippets of the past 20 years... mebbe it'll work, mebbe it won't... worth a try.

I turned a song with good lyrics and music but which sounded a bit pedestrian into something really good just by going "Heeeeeyyyyy!" in the middle for a few bars... go figure.

Experiment.

Now you'll find that you may not be able to execute the vocal that you've just recorded and still play the tune on your geetar... this is normal. I always end up with a better vocal line once I put the weaponry aside and just concentrate on it. You'll get away from the "following" thing I was referring to.

Develop your songs this way. And when you feel up to it. Do an open mic. You'll know you're alive one way or the other and learn lots.

Cheers
 
cheap fix for the basement. Hang blankets from the pipes or tack them the to overhead joists. Its not perfect but it will dampen the room some.
 
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