So unkind....what am I missing here?

[Fat_Satchel]

Although its not the style Im working on, it keeps sticking in my head and I find myself playing this when I pick up my acoustic to plink around. I wrote it while searching for a lyrical idea for another song...

Ive since added a bridge and rewrote the chorus and I dont know if Ive improved it or not heheh...it's not anything Id record but its bugging me it seems incomplete, like its not telling the whole story but I cant see where lol...

So unkind [simple 2-chord acoustic in G, progression at chorus]

I wish I could remember
Holding on to the night
Never willing to surrender
I wish I could remember

I wish I could remember
Never letting moments pass
Seeing Love as such a miracle
Each one better then the last
I wish I could remember
I wish I could remember

Time has let me wither on the vine
A heart betrayed by a mind, so unkind

I wish I could remember
Giving everything for love
Now I haven’t got enough
Still, I wish I could remember

I wish I could remember
Sleeps soft breath next to me
Early mornings making love
And wanting you to stay

Oh, there was a time when I was a bolder man
When I knew love like it was meant to be
I’ve been there and done that, I’m sure I have
But I can’t recollect the memories
And I wish I could remember
I wish I could remember

Time has let me wither on the vine
A heart betrayed by a mind, so unkind
I wish I could remember
I wish I could remember
I wish I could remember
I wish I could remember

 

[Henri Devill]

Looks like a good job to me...Nicely done






Don