"So Deep"...its real and raw and sad

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Amorican

Amorican

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Brand new solo tune up now--Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Solo...."SO DEEP".

PLEASE check out a down and out mans soul baring tune...raw and real...seriously....hard times...

http://www.myspace.com/tonynash
 
I'm not much of a lyric guy...I like to hear the story in the notes, tempo, changes, dynamics, textures. I listened, then read your post. I had no clue it was a sad song, without concentrating on the lyrics. The rhythm is kinda bouncy.....the quality of the vocal, at it's too-low level, lacks midrange and gravel in the bottom that convey genuine anguish...grit, or something....and it sounds forced...like you were trying to make it sad, without actually being sad when you sang it. Do you roll 'vid' in your head when you sing? Visualize? Get the connection between felt and projected emotion? You can tell a lot about how someone feels by the 'tone' and other non-lyrical content when they speak....and you need to make that brain-sing connection when you record, otherwise the subconscious cues don't match the lyrical intent, I think.

The level of the vox is insufficient to overcome the distraction of the two hard-panned acoustics...playing varying rhythmic figures...which causes a 'sweeping' effect across..and on top of... the vocal. I think it might work better with the guitars panned closer, and the vox WAY out in front. One guitar might work better. Or two guitars closer, and more locked-in to a figure.

I like to imagine a vocal as a 1lb coffee can. The support guits are two more cans. The way your mix sits is that you have three seperate cans across the field..and the outer cans are having a conversation between themselves while the center can tries to tell us something important. A better 'picture' might happen if you stacked the cans like a pyramid...support the vox.... and used some reflections from a virtual room [ large hall verb or something?] to fill the extremes.

But, even if you just pumped the level on the vox, that might do the trick? Did you roll of the mids and lows in the vox track?

The quality of the guitar sounds are pleasing. Martin dx1??
Nice work!
MHO's
 
I agree with Jeff. I listened to your second song, and it was much easier, and more pleasing to listen to - I suppose because everything sat together better in the mix. There were times in the first song where I noticed that the rhythm guitar was way over to the left, and nothing or very little was going on at the right. The vocals sat nicely in the middle to me, as well as the lead guitar (which was very nice, by the way). I think it would serve the song well to bring everything in closer, and maybe even have the acoustic rhythm guitar in stereo.

Oh, and maybe try slipping in a few high notes somewhere in your vocals. I'm not really sure where or how you would do it, to fit the feel and style of the song you are going for, but, as a listener, I kept waiting to hear a little something from your higher register!
 
The hard-panned acoustics would work if you had something more in the middle to provide a fullness and balance. Drums, Bass, an electric guit, etc. If you're going with just acoustic guitars, then put the main strumming guitar in the center. Gotta maintain symmetry. Bring the vocals up. The vocals are telling the story, not the guitars. Guitars are there to support the singer, not the other way around.

I like the song.

have fun.
 
Hey Amorican..
There's a tune on the charts right now called "Maybe We're not Meant to Be" by Theory of a Dead Man. It has hard-panned guitars...with a good dose of strings/synth glue overarching to make 'em work as a team...and an acoustic-only breakdown near the end. It's a showcase of how to open the field without leaving holes you can drive a truck through. The L&R guits are completely locked in to a unison rhythm figure. The mix is fantastic...the vox is sung way out front, and it's a sad, sad song. It totally works. I'm learning a lot from it.
What really blows my mind is how simple the parts are. No solos...little lines to intro new parts....hardly a drum roll anywhere. Simple is good. A great tune and recording. Give a listen! It has some of the elements we're mentioning, on display.
 
Thanks SO much for listening to my tune and giving advice...I did not touch the vocals but do agree some depth is needed--I will work on that.

With panning I always come to some path that I choose my own way. I get tired of conventional techniques sometimes. But I will keep what yall said in mind. And the vocals are really loud and mixed well on teh speakers i have.

I recorded this raw and quick and had it mixed and mastered in a few hours. This is such an outlet for me...its funny what you say about it being forced...because as of now--I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown, going through the worst period of my life ever...and my solo songs really come from that place--so it aint forced. But everyone has their own opinons.

again thanks SO much!
 
Yeah I'm not feeling any anguish or pain in this song either, but I'm pretty numb and uncaring to other people's feelings, so it might just be me. :D

In any case, I agree with the others' comments. Pull the guitars in and bring the vocals up so they force the listener to focus. I found my attention wandering around while the song was playing.
 
Much better this time around. I'm curious what your recording space is like. Seems I can hear the short refections from a small room in the vocal track. If you dont' have a great room for recording, try to make it as dead as possible then add life during the mixdown with reverb, delay or whatevers...

You said you get tired of conventional techniques, but making the song more familiar to your audience is going to make it easier them to listen to it. Hopefully that's what you want.
 
So sorry you've fallen on hard times lately. I hope things will turn around for you, or that you will find a way to let going through such a hard time have a positive influence in your life.

I like the song so much better with what you did with it! Good job.:)

One tiny observation: in the last bit of the song, around 4:16, it sounds like one of the tracks might be clipping a bit, or something. I'm not sure if it's the bass or percussion, but maybe you could look at your tracks & see if you can locate what I'm hearing?
 
Much better. kill off 1/2 the small room verb; center the electric guitar solo [R] and boost it up. Nice feature. Right in the Black Crows pocket. Hear a lot more guts in the vox. Still pushed too far back with level and verb, maybe.
 
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I like both songs. I think the panning is good for this style of music. It reminds me of some old school recordings.
 
So, towards the end it sounds like your throat got tired, the vox start to sound a little forced - like physically, not emotionally - and you fall out of rhythm a little. But if you tracked it as rough and tumble as you said, that's all entirely understandable.
The reason I point it out is that I think the mix is sounding really good, and it kind of ruined the end of the song for me. I was definitely feeling it until then.
It's a good song, and those are the best things I've ever gotten out of rough patches in my life, so you're doing all right.
Definitely repost if you decide to retrack those vocals at the end. I'd like to hear them as strong as the vox from the beginning.
 
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