Small Town Eyes - thoughts pls

Whatmysay

Whatmysay

New member
I am away from home so can not do any recording, but my old beaten up guitar has been hard at work on this visit after resting at my in-laws in Sydney for about 2 years. Nothing like a change of scene get the ideas flowing again.

This is definitely in the country genre; I seem to spend more time there recently and I'm enjoying it - hope the outcome is also enjoyable.

When I get back to HK I'll get these recent stuff down until then your thoughts on lyrics would be appreciated.

Small Town Eyes

1.
They said you were a tearaway and I’d come to no good
We just had to leave this place and your daddy understood
As a young man he had travelled, opened himself to the world
He said ‘Go with my blessing, just hold on to my girl’
Ch
And leave them behind, those small town eyes
Wave goodbye or this place will make you blind
Open your eyes as you go world wide
You’ll never look behind with small town eyes
2.
So we hit the road and played the bars and I sold some of my songs
We lived on love and lived in cars, till the babies came along
Then back in ’95 we bought or daughters home
Your daddy’s cancer got a grip, as he lost grip of the farm
Still he said . . .
Ch
Bridge
We told him stories of the road, made him laugh and nursed him on
He saw his grand-daughters first step
When passed we ran the farm, we grow in shadows of his love
We live this life without regret
3
Got my own tearaway but I know she’ll come good
Someday soon I’ll have to say, what her granddad understood
You’ve got to find yourself at the end of the road
You’ve got to keep on leaving so you know when your home
Ch
 
Very creative, Burt. It seems to have a folk feel to it.

This line is my favorite...

"We told him stories of the road, made him laugh and nursed him on"

Sort of Dylan-esque. Good stuff.

I look forward listening, my friend. I don't think I have heard any country genre from you.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
There's some good writing in this.

You may want to revisit the chorus. I don't think it really says what you mean. To me it's the weak link in the poetry. Maybe closing it with "You won't be looking back with small town eyes" would help.

If you like it as written, keep it. This is a good song either way.
 
Cheers Joseph for comments

Thanks Milnogue - yes with more singing final line has gone exactly where you suggest

'You wont look behind with small town eyes'

What I'm trying to get at is that even if you end back in the small town after travelling you'll always have a big picture and a life without regret.

Cheers for the close reading really appreciate it.
 
Thumbs up !
Definitely passed the Old Grey Eye-moistening Test. (compliment)
I only looked at this thread because the title made me curious. The title reminded me of a line in John Martyn's "Some People Are Crazy" ;

" Some people got conclusions like curtains
Don't they draw them tight, Don't they draw them tight?"

So I jumped straight to your lyrics. The first two lines made me want to read on, and so on.....
Thankyou for sharing.
 
I like the 2nd Verse

Some people are crazy
Some people are just plain good
Some people talk wouldness and couldness
Some people don't do as they should.

As it sums up HRF, thankfully you, like most contributors match the 2nd line

Cheers Dave

Burt
 
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