Short song for Critique.

Cool song...nice melody. Love the vocals, but they seem a bit buried maybe? Would prefer them much more out front.

Even though there appears to be primarily just a guitar/piano interaction thing going on here...it seems a bit cluttered. They seem to be stepping on each other a bit and I don't know if that is more of an arrangement thing or a mixing thing - or maybe I'm just full of it??

Anyway, I like the tune and I like the vocals, but not so crazy about the mix thus far.
 
Yeah, vocals are buried, they need compression or automation to match the levels. The same goes for the acoustic guitar. But nice, lots of dynamics. If you can double the guitar would be awesome. If you can't, try making a copy of the guitar track and add compression, a little reverb, little delay and correct the pitch, then pan the tracks like 50 L/R and see what happens... the sound should be opened.

About the song... it's cool, i think it's like a movie song, the scene when a girl is sad, or something like that.

Cheers.
 
Piano sounds good. I feel the guitar is lacking some bass its just not very rich sounding. Vocals sound to ambient, its cool and somewhat haunting, IDK if thats what your going for but its hard to decipher the lyrics
 
Miser:

Even though there appears to be primarily just a guitar/piano interaction thing going on here...it seems a bit cluttered. They seem to be stepping on each other a bit and I don't know if that is more of an arrangement thing or a mixing thing - or maybe I'm just full of it??

Yep! [not 'full of it'.....correct!!!]

The guitar riff is really nice. The piano comes in too soon, is not in tune with the guitar [or the guitar is out of tune....or it has intonation problems] and the piano plays a chord that identifies the root chord every time the guitar riff goes to the IV chord.....the progression gets ambiguous...cluttered!

Move guitar right, piano left, to get them out of each other's turf.

I'd suggest re-recording the guitar... in-tune...changing the strings, and making sure you get the full-range beautiousness of the instrument...wood, clang, boom......and make it the feature. Play half the notes on the piano...or just block quiet chords, along with an occasional supporting line, complimenting what the acoustic does...unision or harmony, heavy on the suspended fourth and second notes to keep it airy.

The riff and the words and melody are really nice. Try to showcase them. The added elements need to be more subtle, quiet, supportive...not counterpoint. I know the impulse is to dress things up; the core of the song doesn't need it. Too busy!

It's a beautiful song.

ps...steal an acoustic upright bass and lay some sweet, swaying , simple bottom hook on this baby!!!

I'd also love to hear the vox up...and free of FX or doubling...except in the choruses, when y' wanna build dynamics.
 
Thx Jeff as always for your well thought out and helpful insight, I really appreciate it!

PS... you don't happen to have a stand up acoustic bass lying around do you? ;)
 
On my list of things I really gotta have.

Does anybody here have one?? Might be nice to farm out a little project like this.
 
Thanks for posting on soundclick - so much easier than mspace etc.
Is the piano recorded in stereo (whether electronic or acoustic)? If it is you could speead it across the soundstage quite naturally.
I'd add a second guitar playing essentially the same as the 1st & hard pan the two.
That'd leave a "natural" piano spread, the guitars panned across & your voice up the centre.
 
rayc said:
Thanks for posting on soundclick - so much easier than mspace etc.
Is the piano recorded in stereo (whether electronic or acoustic)? If it is you could speead it across the soundstage quite naturally.
I'd add a second guitar playing essentially the same as the 1st & hard pan the two.
That'd leave a "natural" piano spread, the guitars panned across & your voice up the centre.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I agree it needs some work and I like your ideas. :)

...PS yea i hear myspace is the wrong place to post your music :P
 
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