I like it. Nice composition. The mix is good but if you want that sort of "wall of sound" effect to work you're going to need to do something with the vocals to help them cut through. It's hard to say exactly what, since it's too hard to hear the raw vocal track to even suggest if it's EQ or the mic or whatever. Reminds me of how I used to mix when I hated my vocals. I tended to bury them. As far as I can tell......you have no reason to hide yours. Try it one more time.