'Self Imprisoned' (Tool meets Evanescence) Comment on my first original song here

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dreamsound2

New member
Actually, I'm not even sure what this sounds like but perhaps somewhere along the lines of Tool, Evanescence, Live.



I think the vocals are too upfront and I want to redo a few parts, plus there is a whole second part to it. But I'm leaving it on standby while I work on another song.

Just wanted to get some feedback on the meantime... Thanks :o
 
I don't think the vocals are too upfront, they are fine where they are. I hear more click than oomph on the kick. Maybe get it to work with the bass better. Snare seems to dominate, but that might be working with this type song.

Seems like a nice song, too bad it's so short!!! Look forward to hearing the rest. :)
 
You are absolutely right, I need to re-eq the kick-bass because they are fighting for the same frequency and bass is taking over.

I think cutting some low end on that bass might do.
 
I'm a huge fan of Evanescence.

What they have and you don't is a better sense of dynamics, for one:

When the verses come in, you could do well by thinning , or even killing off...the pipe organ....until you want to boil the chorus with bigness. When the first chorus comes, there nowhere to go, dynamically. The drone is nice...but needs to be used more judiciously. Evanescence makes great use of space and ambience...though and emo-evoking space. Without the organ stepping on all of that, much of the time, you have it.

One of the other techniques they use is vocal dynamics. She whispers close to the mic...then wails like Gracie Slick on the big parts. She gives me chills. OTOH, you keep more to a midrangie, homoginized delivery. Not the breathy, lip-smacking in-your-ear sound, contrasted with operatic belting when the symphony wants to fly the listener somewhere.

Dynamics, and general thinning. More art in the vocal delivery. That's the ticket.

Nice work!
 
Nice work. I don't particularly like Evanescence, but fortunately, I don't think this track sounds too much like them. :D

I think I do agree that the vocals are a bit too far forward. I feel like vox in a song like this should be a little "spacier" if you know what I mean. They sound really good on the bridge "oohs" though.
 
This mix is far from home. There's a LOT of low end resonance and energy. It's pretty overpowering. I'm not even really hearing the kick at all under all the bass - which isn't too loud, it's just eating up low end space. And then you have the cymbal crashes verging on ear splitting. Too sizzly and harsh. I have to wonder what you're monitoring with. Sounds like a headphone mix. The vocals are too wet and too up front. It's also pretty loud. I don't mind a loud mix, but if it's loud, it's gotta be good. Back off the "mastering" and fix the mix.
 
I agree with all the above mentioned points. In addition, the mid-range growl that is a constant bed it eating the lyrics alive.

If it were me, I'd do the growl and then cut when the vocals come in. Therein is the source of your lack of dynamics.

You could ride the fader or do a cross fade with the vocals.

This song has some potential and I think you should finish it.

You've got that spacey rocker angst going for you like Pink Floyd out of Zanax.

Wig:)
 
Thanks a lot for all the comments.

I do have a natural raspy voice but yeah maybe it sounds a bit too growly on this song at the beginning. Once I finish this song I will definitely remix it and take your feedback in account.

>You've got that spacey rocker angst going for you like Pink Floyd out of
>Zanax.

:D
 
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