The mesh pads are physiucally less demanding, they absorb the impact better than the rubber pads. Mesh pads also respond to dynamics much better than the rubber pads.
I've never "worn out" rubber or mesh, but I have "worn away" the rubber on various pads.
While I agree that the the rubber pads do cause more wear and tear on the hands, wrists and arms, I do think that to some degree one must alter their technique when playing e-drums.
They are not designed to be hit as hard as accoustic drums and failure to understanding this most basic premise will surely result in damages to the equipment - but more importantly to the person using the equipment.