I don't about anybody else...But I ended using Fruity Loops. (even for my rock music) True it's mainly made for rap and/or dance beats, but it's an excellent sequencer. To get a great realistic sound, (as opposed to the digital drum machine sounds) all you have to do is record actual pieces of the drumkit yourself. For instance, close mic just your snare, and then record just a nice clean snare hit. Cut the audio so that it starts the very instant that the snare is hit. And cut the audio track once the snare is done ringing out. Then save this very short audio clip as "snare hit." Later, upload this wav file to your sequencer, replacing the original snare hit. (This way, you can replace fake digital sounds with real, live sounds) If you record each little piece of a drum set and then post produce each one...you should be able to find a really nice sound. Do the same for each of the toms, the bass, cymbals, and ect... ( remember that the high hat has at least 2 variations: a closed high hat hit, and an open high hat hit. Record each and save them as seperate files!) Remember that you can equalize all of these sounds later in post production. Once you're done "building" your virtual drum set, designed to sound exactly how you like it to sound, you can simply use the software to write out any type of beat that you would like. (assuming that you already uploaded the files into the software) Now play it back: it should sound A LOT more realistic than the digital drum kits that came with the software. Doing this may take a lot of creativity and planning ahead, but it's not necessarily hard. All you have to do is remember what a real drummer would sound like, and not write anything that doesn't fit that mold. In other words, if you're trying to sound realistic, don't make the beats sound like they are played by a robot. You can do little things like changing the tempo, or adding a "swing" to the beat. Remember to add a lot of little variations into your "verses"...otherwise it won't sound like a real person playing. Unless ofcourse you don't mind it sounding like a drum machine.
Even if you don't own your own drum set...you can just sample sounds off of a set the next time you record a band. Or you could sample sounds off of a friends set. If this isn't possible now, don't worry, for starters you could always get the software first and learn how to operate it.
You can do this type of thing with ANY "audio sequencer". Fruity Loops is just a favorite for home producers. However, there are easier ones that you could even download for free.
www.acoustica.com There's a program called "beatcraft" on the homepage I think. It's really simple to "post produce" each individual drum piece in the program, plus easy to write beats. The program downloads for free, but de-activates after a few days of use unless you buy it. It's only like 25 bucks or something so don't worry. Or you could even find the crack for it and just keep it for free. Both ways are extremely easy.
Hope I helped at least a little bit. Good luck