A few easy options I can think of:
Record the drums first with no other instruments so the drummer can hit the drums as hard as he wants.
Turn up the drummer's headphones - whenever I play drums to songs on my iPod, I just use some big studio (over the head) headphones and crank up the volume. It works just fine for me.
Record on an electric drum kit if it really is that big of a problem.
Have everybody in the same room as if they were in a practice space, but do some heavy noise removal and compression, use directional mics on all the drums, and don't use overhead mics; find a different way to mic the cymbals.