Ready for the pop charts?

N

neil_walsh

New member
I just posted this track on my site, "hot of the press (hard drive?)"!

I think it's got a Britney Spears vibe to it, hopefully her manager will come across it, get her to record it, sell millions, get me in to the industry, give up my day job, write and record music all day,....well maybe....

Seriously, we spend a lot of money trying to get our sound chart-ready and just needing a name singer to drop their track on it. Do you think it works?

http://www.song-central.com/DontGiveMeALie.htm
 
Checked it out...

My advice: listen to some more Britney records man! :) (btw, I've listened to quite some N'Sync & Britney records from a 'producer's' point of view. There's definitely a lot to learn there...)

You'll discover that the drumsounds are fatter (and more interestingly programmed), the high end more defined, and most of the songs contain very creative use of multitap delays (listen closely to the lead vocals in Overprotected or Hit Me Baby, the delays and reverbs are EVERYWHERE, they're panning like there's no tomorrow. Result: the intense wide sound you're obviously looking for!)

And don't forget THE HOOK! (well, I couldn't find it)

Excuse me for being so harsh on you, but if you set your goals that high you'll have to work harder. This type of music is mainly about sound, composition comes second (a good hook is enough). And soundwise you're not yet there...oK, you've spend a lot of money on equipment. Now learn how to work with it... :)
 
- first, I don't like that kinda sub-bass ur using - have the feeling that it doesn't fit in; the drums are too thin and the voc is way too loud -- anyway, the composition is cool for it's genre

cheers
 
Kramer my man, you're having awful luck getting in to my site. The hosts server was down, I kicked his ass, the tracks are back.

Thanks for the posts guys...interesting stuff
 
Pop songs should have a hook within the first 30 seconds of the song, and I don't seem to hear one in this song. The Kick should be driving the song and the snare shouldn't only be coming down on the 2 and 4. There should be more syncopation in the beats.

Good vocal tracks and harmonies.
 
I think you have some elements of what you're going for. The vocalist's voice is well suited for the genre.

I think a couple of the instrument choices didn't fit. The keyboard part during the verses was more like a cheezy Smashmouth song than a Britney power-pop tune. The guitar (I think it was a guitar) that came in at about 1:40 had too much midrange. I thought it could be a bit more subtle.

The songwriting was a bit too weak. There no strong hook - either musically or lyrically. I was waiting to be hit with a big chorus but I never was. I was waiting for either some killer harmonies or the "I'm not that innocent" type of line. Something like that needs to be there.

Some of the synth stuff that was hard panned kind of scrambles your ears if you're listening on headphones. Maybe don't pan quite as hard.

I'd say to keep at it. As I said, I think you have some of the elements of what you're looking for. You just need to keep at it.
 
definitely...

has pop potential, I just think that a little more production in the vocals could take the place of a lot that may be missing from the music. More "POP" to the music could help this. It almost teeters the line of light alternative and pop. If you added a bit more syncopation and possibly variation to the drum programming, it could work. As for the vocals, they are recorded fairly nice and the performer could definitely go pop, but as is the case with most industry pop singers, they shine via the production. Britney is good, but the complex and busy harmony arrangements make her music "Britney".

Just a little food for thought from a nobody who knows nothing...

-Humble-
 
Country/pop/hip hop/rock? What genre is this tune?!?! And the female vocalist is obviously not a kid, I think a younger sounding singer would sound better. Also, where's the MEAT of this tune? I found 100% nothing to anchor this tune. No driving bass/drum track, zilch! Need more edgy sounding instruments. Overall a clean sounding pop tune that needs a serious kick in the ass to pump up the overall feel. Keep in mind, I'm just a nobody listening to this at 4:30 in the frickin morning. :)
 
Greetings Puny Earthlings,
Thank you for your comments on the above mentioned song. I am one half (60%)of the song writing/ production team involved.When I finish this entry I will go away and fall on my SM 58.I enjoyed all the feedback,and I will find out where you all live and come around.You will have to be more vitriolic to upset the son of a shepherd!
Derm
 
Dermot Walsh said:
You will have to be more vitriolic to upset the son of a shepherd!
Click to expand...

Vitriolic?

Get that kick panned to the center. 11th commandment "thou shalt pan kick drum to the center".
 
JadionMusic said:
That was 289 light years from a Britney Track. You wanna hear Pop tracks like BRITNEY... you need to hear what I do... www.mp3.com/jadion_music
Click to expand...

What kind of critique is that?

You suck, and I don't?

Jeez...in my opinion we're here to help people, not to promote ourselves.
 
I agree about the lack of a hook. I also think the vocals sound uninspired. No matter how much I hate Britney tunes I have to admit thay stick in my head because of the hooks. This song really needs a hook. Also those buble gum pop tunes always sound "perfect". Everything always meshes in the mix. They (meaning the producers) could polish a terd and make it grammy material.

I thought my sub was gonna vibrate the mouse off my desk lol. There's something about the sounds that didn't mesh well. Some reminded me like a nine inch nails tune was about to kick in, others kind of carnivalish. The guitar sound was way nasaly in the mix.

Maybe your goals could be achieved by setting them a bit lower then move on to the next one rather than go for the gold all at once.

~scott
 
You suck, and I don't?

Jeez...in my opinion we're here to help people, not to promote ourselves. [/B][/QUOTE]

No, it was for reference. It doesn't SUCK.. but is in NOT Britney at ALL. It is pretty plain and needs alot more layers. Hell I wish I had the vocalist to produce. No difference if I said the same thing and reffered you to a Max Martin site. I didn't mean to offend, I was just stating that if you are going to reference a big name like Britney... it ought to sound like BRITNEY! That is like me saying, Check out my songs they sound like Puff Daddy.. and they sound nothing like that. Thats all
 
OK, alright....it came across a little bit weird (at least in my opinion, not sure whether I'm the only one). Why didn't you say those last things you mentioned the first time? ;)

Welcome to the board, btw...and try to be nice, everybody around here does :D
 
I don't think the arrangement is nearly interesting enough. Stiff and repeditive.

Sound quality wise, not even close, but great for a demo.

Ed
 
Theres a tune here but it needs to go somewhere farther. The singer did a fine job IMO. Maybe a break or change that brings in more sound/dynamics.
The tough part with this one is that its a kinda slow moving tune and needs to stay simple. An easily identifiable hook would be all it needs.
Interesting idea that is worth working on.


Dermot Walsh said:
Greetings Puny Earthlings,
Thank you for your comments on the above mentioned song. I am one half (60%)of the song writing/ production team involved.When I finish this entry I will go away and fall on my SM 58.I enjoyed all the feedback,and I will find out where you all live and come around.You will have to be more vitriolic to upset the son of a shepherd!
Derm
Click to expand...

I'm the son of a concrete worker.
I'll leave the light on for ya.
 
The vocalist is good. Not even remotely Spearsish, not that that's a bad thing in an of itself.

Nothing I would ever listen to in a million years, of course, but some might like it.
 
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