Re-entry - new vomitHatSteve song.

  • Thread starter Thread starter VomitHatSteve
  • Start date Start date
VomitHatSteve

VomitHatSteve

Hat STYLE. Not contents.
Hey everyone!

Still working on making my drums not suck, but I think I'm getting better.

This one's called Re-entry.
mp3 | Flac

There's just this one, and one more; then I promise I'll lay off the alt-country-ish songs about space travel and ansibles.

Re-entry said:
Welcome captain; it's so good to meet you
We're descendants of your original crew.
(Reverse thrusters online)

Won't you join us as a most distinguished guest?
The best seating as we complete your quest.
(Decelerating)

Soon we'll pull your friends out of the deep freeze.
They'll be good for genetic diversity
(Cryosleep defrost)

And a labor class to help us build our new homes
so the robots won't have to do it alone
(Initializing)

(chorus)
What is this coup d'etat?
I am captain select of Earth.
Relinquish the reins to me.
And have your caretakers disperse,
And we'll get this show on the road

I like your quaint, anachronistic language.
Our whole culture, well, it must seem pretty strange
(habitation module)

To see a thousand years leap ahead in one day,
But you're a caveman if I may be so rude to say.
(deployed and ready)

Now be quiet; the adults are busy
Planning terraforms, farms, and cities
(T-minus 5 minutes)

That your children will call home some day,
if you just wise up and just do what we say.
(Prepare for landing)

(Chorus)

What is this coup d'etat?
(Welcome now ladies and gentlemen to your new home)
I am captain select of Earth.
(the city of the future)
Relinquish the reins to me.
(a thousand years and a billion miles from that small,)
And have your caretakers disperse,
(pale, blue dot up in the sky.)
And we'll (let's) get this show on the road
Click to expand...
 
Pretty interesting, Steve. What it lacks is solidity and that's mainly due to the drums. They sound a bit too robotic. The interacting voices are a good idea but the song really needs to gel.
 
The snare fill at 0:54 sounds horrible! Don't really care much for the drum tone either, particularly the snare. It's somehow too distant sounding and not reverby enough. Perhaps there's some "room" sized reverb on there that needs to be made longer and quieter?
I think the drums are the thing holding this back the most.
 
Actually, the drums are a huge improvement over your older stuff. Much better. They're still pretty bad, but they were so bad before that this is a huge step in the right direction. Keep working on them, you're getting there.

The song is pretty fun and poppy. I think you need to scrap the hard panned doubled vocals. It doesn't work. It sounds messy and the vocals are unintelligible without reading along to the lyrics. You gotta really nail the phrasing to make that kind of doubling work. One good vocal track in the middle would be better. I know that's boring and everyone does it, but it sounds better 99% of the time.
 
That snare sound reminds me of the snare on the 1st drumkit I owned. I'm guessing if you put a new head on it and cranked up the tuner it would sound 200% better. I agree with Greg on the vocals - the words in brackets are just distracting from the main event
 
joeym said:
Pretty interesting, Steve. What it lacks is solidity and that's mainly due to the drums. They sound a bit too robotic. The interacting voices are a good idea but the song really needs to gel.
Click to expand...

Robotic? I'm not entirely sure I understand. Robotic usually means the drums are boringly accurate, right? Playing a consistent beat with no variety? That seems to imply I'm playing way better than I actually do. Or do you just mean that the beat is repetitive and predictable? (Which would probably be a fair cop.)

cobaltaudio said:
The snare fill at 0:54 sounds horrible! Don't really care much for the drum tone either, particularly the snare. It's somehow too distant sounding and not reverby enough. Perhaps there's some "room" sized reverb on there that needs to be made longer and quieter?
I think the drums are the thing holding this back the most.
Click to expand...
Is it the fill itsself that sounds bad or the drum tone? (Both?!) Ok. I'll mess with the verb settings and try to get a new version up tonight.
Greg_L said:
Actually, the drums are a huge improvement over your older stuff. Much better. They're still pretty bad, but they were so bad before that this is a huge step in the right direction. Keep working on them, you're getting there.

The song is pretty fun and poppy. I think you need to scrap the hard panned doubled vocals. It doesn't work. It sounds messy and the vocals are unintelligible without reading along to the lyrics. You gotta really nail the phrasing to make that kind of doubling work. One good vocal track in the middle would be better. I know that's boring and everyone does it, but it sounds better 99% of the time.
Click to expand...
Thanks, Greg. My goal when I double-track vocals is to make it get it sounding as much like one really good voice as possible. I guess this one could be more subtle with it.
Bulls Hit said:
That snare sound reminds me of the snare on the 1st drumkit I owned. I'm guessing if you put a new head on it and cranked up the tuner it would sound 200% better. I agree with Greg on the vocals - the words in brackets are just distracting from the main event
Click to expand...
Hey! This is my 1st drum kit too! :D The background vocals were a bit of a last-minute addition, but I kind of like them. They add some variety to the song.

Hopefully, once I get this project done, I'll be able to have my band's actual drummer come in for future work. He knows how to play the things and has a better kit! :D
 
I think the tone of the drums is a little dull and distant, I didnt mind the playing at all..robotic or uninteresting doesnt really matter if thats what you're going for


but as far as quality the rest of the song is really good..I only fear that you get too good at the other stuff and lose the lo fi charm of your tunes
 
I like this song.

Steve, I find that when I'm using countermelodic background vocals, it's useful to have a few overdubs and a little more verb to push them into the background. They're fighting with the lead vocal a little bit. You could also deliver the background vocals in more of a falsetto/head voice to separate them from the lead.


I like the drums - having grown up on TMBG and Ween, I'm down with the lo-fi and adventurous.

Cool stuff.
 
kcearl said:
I think the tone of the drums is a little dull and distant, I didnt mind the playing at all..robotic or uninteresting doesnt really matter if thats what you're going for


but as far as quality the rest of the song is really good..I only fear that you get too good at the other stuff and lose the lo fi charm of your tunes
Click to expand...
I wouldn't fret about losing the lo-fi charm. I know I don't! Being too good is a problem I'd like to have! :D
Supercreep said:
I like this song.

Steve, I find that when I'm using countermelodic background vocals, it's useful to have a few overdubs and a little more verb to push them into the background. They're fighting with the lead vocal a little bit. You could also deliver the background vocals in more of a falsetto/head voice to separate them from the lead.


I like the drums - having grown up on TMBG and Ween, I'm down with the lo-fi and adventurous.

Cool stuff.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I'll probably try to separate the vocals with more panning on the next take. I suppose I do have remarkably little falsetto on this one though...
 
Good fun tune vhs. The drums are what they are and for a last minute addition the backing vocals make the song for me. The only part where I don't think they quite work is in the last verse where the vocal parts sound a little cluttered.

I wonder whether a tiny bit more reverb would help that bontempi keyboard sounding line sit in the mix a little more too.

Enjoyed it.
 
Thanks Rob. What's a bontempi? I just dropped a bunch of sin waves straight into Reaper. :D

Ok. Version 2 is up:
MP3 | FLAC

I messed with the snare a lot (added a gate and some compression, tweaked the reverb, turned it up) and added more reverb to the master drum channel (turns out I had forgotten to enable it initially!)

I also turned down the doubling on both vocal parts and panned them to slightly opposite sides. Hopefully, that makes it less-cluttered-sounding.
 
Vocals are less cluttered, but now they're even harder to understand. It sounds like I've got a guy singing the main vox on my 10:00 and somebody directly in my right ear singing the harmony. Try the main vox down the middle with the harmony panned out and quieter. Love the lo-fi neon acoustic spaceship vibe you somehow managed to invent.
 
Thanks, Jab.

Everyone wants the melody panned down the center! Pssh! Conformists. :D

I like the phrase "lo-fi neon acoustic spaceship vibe."
 
VomitHatSteve said:
Thanks Rob. What's a bontempi? I just dropped a bunch of sin waves straight into Reaper. :D

Ok. Version 2 is up:
MP3 | FLAC

I messed with the snare a lot (added a gate and some compression, tweaked the reverb, turned it up) and added more reverb to the master drum channel (turns out I had forgotten to enable it initially!)

I also turned down the doubling on both vocal parts and panned them to slightly opposite sides. Hopefully, that makes it less-cluttered-sounding.
Click to expand...

You're welcome man. Bontempi made cheap kid's keyboards when I was a kid - don't know if they ever made it over to the US though. Grandaddy were always great at harnessing that cheapo keyboard sound and making something good out of it.

I'll have a listen to v2 when I'm at home.
 
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