Rainy Days...Any thoughts?

First impression: Nice song, cool lyrics.

I think this song could be developed into something special. I would give the song a slightly different guitar treatment . . . something with a less busy strum so that you can open up the space that is waiting there to breathe. As I listen, I want it to be lazy, relaxed and easy-paced . . . I could easily hear it being given that treatment instrumentally.

I'm not totally convinced about the lines that say something like "making it through the day" and "looking the other way". Lyrically the song is fine . . . nothing made me squirm except those lines which are stock phrases and sound out of kilter with the rest of the writing. I'd be on the hunt to find something more original to slot in there. I couldn't figure why you needed to "look the other way".

But, I accept it for what it is at the moment . . . a broad idea waiting to be harnessed into something special. Keep at it!
 
I tend to think the "busy" guitar is fine... I was expecting to agree with gecko here as I've reached a point in my own writing where I try to remove the guitar as much as possible from everything I do(as opposed to earlier points in my writing career where I thought I was Eddie Van Halen :)). It seems to me that the guitar here is really more of a distant piece of the background with the vocals being up in the front. I think if the song was being produced the guitar would play a very small role in the over all sound. What I would like to hear is some sort of bridge or break(maybe a quick key change), just to provide some contrast which could bring out more of the main piece, just my opinion though. Good job!
 
Like it. Nice song. Got an REM kind of vibe to it.

I could hear a nice harmony in my head, possibly sung by a female. I also think if you come to record it in a studio, an orchestral backing would be awesome. It could add power (and storminess) whilst the lead guitar and vocals keeps nice and calm. If an orchestra is out of the question (like it is for 99% of people making music), I think some nice orchestral (realistic samples etc) string section would work well.

I will check out your other sings another time.
 
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Mr Funk took the words right out of my MOUTH, lmao...

I hear some subdued "orch" note melody lines in soft counterpoint coming in and out of time to make a nice laid back orch background. might really set off the lyrics and strummed chords nicely. I hear it as the same laid back relaxing song, with that hint of bittersweet to it... with soft orch backing

this is really good songwriting getting a quality project off the ground... this is where a skilled high dollar producer would really make this into something.

Heck, I'd like to "take a whack at it", but dont knbow of I have the skill set for that. I make standalone orch instrumentals, but never had anyone desire me to try to do that.

*shrugs* hey... if you didnt like it, or if i never got it done, its not like you lost any money letting me spin my wheels?

I got like 3 things up on Garageband (artist "sedstar" under classical...) if you thought you might want me to try. For free, of course... I'm just interested to see if I could do it... keep in mind, I aint talking "hero horns" like one or two of my pieces have... I'm talking soft, rolling, background orch work here... I wouldnt want to try to steal the spotlight... that needs to be on you and your lyrics... its that kind of mood and song.

You've painted a nice portrait... the rest of the canvas around and behind it is yet blank... I would like to take a whack at doing the background around and behind the portrait...
 
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