Psych Thing becomes The Master

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rayc

rayc

retroreprobate
With a little help from denizens of the deep within the MP3 Clinic this song has taken a quantum leap forward:
Greg added the superb drum track;
Gerry added a classic lead track &
Joey has created & added a brilliant melody to interpret the lyric.
This is an experimental mix & has excessive 'essing" on it as a result of reverb & is NOT an artifact the vocal tracks themselves.
Gerry wants to retrack for more bite in his tone & there is a little glassiness in the OH's of the drum track - again due to my adding reverb.
All will be dealt with soon,
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3T6Q0OQ7
Apart from the stated issues is there anything else I need to address?
Here is the re upped by KC link:

Thank you sir!
New Mix (26/10/10 EDST AUS)
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PH1ULZU0

Here's the lyric:

The Master’s Gone Away.

The sheets were grey,
Where the body had lain,
And the room was filled with shadow.
The morning had come,
With the birth of the sun,
But the mind of the master lay fallow.

The evening had died,
But no mourner had cried,
At the coming of past day’s tomorrow.
Of the remnants remained,
On the sheet but a stain,
And the impression of leaving was shallow.

But the master had gone,
Departed he with the Dawn,
And no-one cried save the sparrow.
For ne’er had it flown,
From its high leafy thrown,
Lest Death come on the wings of an arrow.

And the master, ‘twas said,
Of sparrow had fed,
Taking ill of its fears and its sorrow.
But from his death bed,
With wings he had fled,
And Death rode in the soul that was hollow.

And the bird took a place,
In past time and space,
Retribution for that which was borrowed…
 
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Edit: kept listening, got a completely different impression after a while..i think the guitars are a little weak coming in...but other than that this is excellent..from hearing the guitars take on G's drums then the solo and vocals this is a totally different beast..i love it, really, really good

in fact its beautiful, but ive had a few merlots and cant stop listening to it :)
 
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oh and its not contemporary..its a fucking classic :)
 
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sounds all outer spacey and the lyric/singing reminds me of a mix of shakespeare and bowie. :D
 
Still waiting for my turd notebook to load the mp3-

While i'm waiting:

IMO the weakest part of most songwriters are the lyrics- generally even signed musicians are held back by lyrics that just plain are bad.. these lyrics I like. Poetic without being too vague, and not so literal as to make you slap the Creed vocalist. Interesting while still being vague but in character throughout.

Ok i'm now about 6 minutes into downloading something- not sure if it's the song, an app to run the song or what exactly, but it's still only at 29%. When I get up tommorrow i'll comment on the song itself if I can.

Til then, I approve of the lyrical content. :D
 
kcearl,
Aw shucks! You'll turn my head!
Seriously though - the input of the fantastic three, (F3? EfPhree?), really has created something altogether otherworldy hasn't it? I'm please you added the crits - most of which I've applied to a remix that I won't be able to post for a day - or so! then again, you've changed your observations. Hmm, tell me K, what of the vocal level? As it stands it has a Heroes sense of standing up from within rather than out & abstract from the backing to me. What do you think?
thebigredhotdog,
Outerspacey can be good, it did start out as a bit psych, so for that TA! Shakespear'n'Bowie eh? Would that be Shakespear's singing & Bowie's writing?
Bill Jones channelling Anthony Newley on augmented cookies? I take the reference, in what ever combination as a compliment as I rather like the writing of both and the warbling of the Changeling. Again thanks.
IndustrialOkie,
Mate, sorry, there's something about megaupload & you that doesn't quite gell. I'm sorry, I have to use Mega as it restarts a stalled upload relatively easily and my ADSL2 line times out sending an email, (the file in question took almost 2 hrs to upload).
Now the file should just be an 8 meg MP3 file & naught else. You may have to check your pop up blocker etc.
I'm glad someone else feels that way about Creed.
As to your approval of the lyrical content - thanks mate. I do like to write words, against the grain if you check out the songwriting forum, as well as read them.
You may be shocked to know that I have a drypoint etching that illustrates the lyric as well. It also is vague yet on task. Now, if I could get hold of another three roller printing press I'd be able to drag out the plate & reprint it!
Oh, back on task. Sorry & thanks you in equal measure.
 
The mix sounds really good Ray, you made a great job of it.
I don't hear a need for any verb or delay, the voices sound good. I love the dark tragic feel of the tune.
Kudos to Greg and Gerry for their performance!:)
 
kcearl,
Aw shucks! You'll turn my head!
Seriously though - the input of the fantastic three, (F3? EfPhree?), really has created something altogether otherworldy hasn't it? I'm please you added the crits - most of which I've applied to a remix that I won't be able to post for a day - or so! then again, you've changed your observations. Hmm, tell me K, what of the vocal level? As it stands it has a Heroes sense of standing up from within rather than out & abstract from the backing to me. What do you think?
thebigredhotdog,
Outerspacey can be good, it did start out as a bit psych, so for that TA! Shakespear'n'Bowie eh? Would that be Shakespear's singing & Bowie's writing?
Bill Jones channelling Anthony Newley on augmented cookies? I take the reference, in what ever combination as a compliment as I rather like the writing of both and the warbling of the Changeling. Again thanks.
IndustrialOkie,
Mate, sorry, there's something about megaupload & you that doesn't quite gell. I'm sorry, I have to use Mega as it restarts a stalled upload relatively easily and my ADSL2 line times out sending an email, (the file in question took almost 2 hrs to upload).
Now the file should just be an 8 meg MP3 file & naught else. You may have to check your pop up blocker etc.
I'm glad someone else feels that way about Creed.
As to your approval of the lyrical content - thanks mate. I do like to write words, against the grain if you check out the songwriting forum, as well as read them.
You may be shocked to know that I have a drypoint etching that illustrates the lyric as well. It also is vague yet on task. Now, if I could get hold of another three roller printing press I'd be able to drag out the plate & reprint it!
Oh, back on task. Sorry & thanks you in equal measure.

at first i thought the vocals were a wee bit too loud in the mix but after listening to it over a dozen times, i kid you not, they sound perfect...i just really wanted to critique something, even Gerry's (who is he?) solo matches the song perfectly

I think this has been my favourite tune in here...there is just something really special about it that made me listen over and over again...and that hasnt happened before


the ingredients have blended together to make the tastiest of pies, and i think im going to help myself to another slice :drunk:
 
Rats - it keeps saying the file is unavailable...no one else having an issue?
 
Gerry's our buddy Ido1957, Keith.:)
I know what you mean about the feel of the song. Ray's chord pattern were a fertile ground for a nice vocal melody. He only sent me the lyrics but I had no problem finding a vocal line, it came right away.
I had Bowie's Wild is the Wind in my head, it just cried for something similar. And Ray's lyrics are pure poetry, he's helped me out loads of times with my own songs.
 
Rays posts are pure poetry sometimes so its not surprising he doesnt have difficult writing lyrics....in fact for my next song im just going to write music around his previous critique :D
 
joeym,
The mix was easy - I simply dropped your vocals in & didn't touch the levels for them. I added a little "industrial" compression to emphasis the BerlinBowieness. It's the performance that works. It's an incredible performance. I can't believe you did such a great job so quickly. Serioulsy folks I send Joey the lyrics in the downunder evening & the files cames back the next downunder morning. The melody was developed, the lyrics adapted & the perfomance of main & 2 B vox captured o'night!!!!
kcearl,
This pie is really a case of adding the right ingredients to turn the meat & potatoes into coq'au vin in a crust. You'll recall the drum machine version - referred to in the trade as PG (preGreg) - then the Post Greg track was a different beast altogether.
Gerry developed his lead lines without the benefit of a vocal track - & he did a fanmazing job of what I wanted: a meandering stream of consciousness guitar track that sparked, spat & squalled along the way. On top of which those ascending lines, (currently a little low in the mix), add effectively to the gravitas.
I've assayed Joey's contribution above of course. Upon listening again today I was struck that beyond the Bowiebaritone the better reference point is Scott Walker somewhere between Plastic Palace People and his latest album. If only I could work out how they got THAT bass sound on his 70's recordings!
heatmiser,
I'm sorry mate. I can only upload to mega & a couple of people are vexed by it. With my present ISP problems I have no other option. I'd love to hear your crits so please persist.
I enjoy writing lyrics & I suppose that's obvious. I'll try to post the illustration for it today sometime.
Thanks for the thoughts folks!
 
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hope you dont mind but ive taken the liberty of uploading it here if you want to stick the link in your first post Ray??


 
Here's the illustration.
It dates back to 1978. and is a dry point etching, (Yes, of the "Would you like to come up and see me etchings?" type but not saucy).
Basically a process of scratching an image into the surface of a burnished metal plate. (Classic "wet" etching is done by removing bitumen from a metal surface to allow acid to "etch" into the plate after which the bitumen is removed & the processes from there are essentially identical.).
From there printer's ink is wiped across the plate & then rubbed into the scratched lines with a leather "dolly" - well actually the ink is rubbed into the burs that are created by the scratches.
Next the excess ink is removed with a very soft cloth leaving only that ink that is wanted on the print.
The plate is covered by a slightly damp piece of parchment, then a blanket & finally a rubber mat.
The bed upon which this laminate rests is passed horizontally through a three roller press.
The coverings removed, the image appears, in reverse, on the damp parchment.
On the soft plates I used for this image a maximum of 5 good prints can be made.
The lyric came quite some time after the image.
So endeth the lesson!
Oh, this is a bit enlarged by the scanner. The original is 17 x 12 cm.
I don't know where he pic went. I'll try again with a 10 x 7cm
 

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Wow, that's vastly different than I imagined it. Sounds pretty good as-is. Now that I hear it I think you could put a bigger reverb on the kit. Something with some low end boom in the reverb, but not much sizzle. That Joey guy can really sing.
 
Wow, that's vastly different than I imagined it. Sounds pretty good as-is. Now that I hear it I think you could put a bigger reverb on the kit. Something with some low end boom in the reverb, but not much sizzle. That Joey guy can really sing.

yeah, this was more musically challenging than what I usually do.....;)
 
Greg_L,
Taa Greg. I'll run through the reverb sets I have & try to achieve the sound as directed. Yep, Joey has lungs eh! & such a change to hear Baritone from him. the song def has proceeded in a different direction, & that's a good thing.
joeym,
Musical challenge! yeah, how does one wake aup a somnambulist opus - get Greg to thump tubs will open the eyes omewhat. Next is to set the task of creating melodies for the Falcon & the Snowman (I assume it's coldish in Edmonton).
Nakatira,
Glad you like it. That's means something to me! How's the album coming along?

I'm currently uploading a mix that has followed the suggestions of some folk & a couple of other ideas.
I've tweaked classic reverb on the drums to damp the highs & allow more boom through, brought the volume up on the intro guitars sooner, (not louder just to their current max sooner), I've removed reverb from the vocals, & I've psuhed up the lead a little as well as shifting the ascending lead lines within the body of the song to a little off centre so they don't clash with the vocals. I've muted the lead guitar during most of the vocal just to listen & hear whether that provides more clarity for both.
I hope to have the Mega link in an hour or so when the 7.95 meg upload is complete.
 
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all coming together nicely! The guitar solo was perfect. The vocals sound very commanding/regal and have some nice touches of harmony. Nice work :)
 
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